


The Balance Returns

by PangolinPirate



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, I'm Sorry, Rape/Non-con Elements, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Slow To Update, Violence, dark side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:09:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9157609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PangolinPirate/pseuds/PangolinPirate
Summary: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...Allyuen, devastated by a First Order attack begs the Resistance for medical aide. Sympathetic to the suffering of the people of Allyuen but with no available pilots, General Organa contacts Luke Skywalker, and requests the assistance of his new apprentice, Rey. Unaware of the threat of a First Order spy among the highest command of the Resistance, Luke agrees to his sister's request and sends Rey to D'qar where she boards and pilots a freighter to the outer rim.Meanwhile, in the depths of the uncharted territories, Kylo Ren nears the end of his formal training. Supreme Leader Snoke has made him stronger and more powerful than ever before. The Knights of Ren have been deployed throughout the mid rim to gather their forces and combine their might for a final assault on the Resistance. Back aboard the Star Destroyer Finalizer, and informed of Rey's vulnerability, Kylo plots her capture; in the hopes to restore his master's faith in him by seducing Rey to the Dark Side of the Force.As tensions rise on both sides Kylo's efforts and Rey's fate will determine the outcome of the war; restoring peace and balance or plunging the Galaxy into a new era of darkness.





	1. Acquisition

In the glow of the holo projector Kylo was silent, concealed by his helmet.

"The Jakku girl," The informant began, licking his bottom lip and shifting his feet, "...she has been separated from the Jedi Master."

A tremor of excitement passed down Kylo's spine. 'Finally.'

"The Resistance has placed her in command of a small freighter carrying medical supplies to the Anoat Sector, Allyuen."

"Do you posses the flight details?" Kylo asked flatly. His deep timbre of a voice sounding disinterested as it filtered through his helm.

"Yes, I do, Sir. I'll send them to you now." The man inserted a small disk in his communicator. A star map temporarily replaced the image of the informant, and Kylo drank the sight in, already savoring the taste of his victory.

'It's too easy, too foolish of my old master to part her company so soon.' He thought, with a rise of uncertainty. She couldn't get the better of him this time, it would undo everything he had accomplished; so he studied the map carefully.

The informant continued to speak in his anxiousness, "The Resistance is desperate-"

"You are certain that the girl will be aboard..." Kylo cut off, his tone venomous, "I would hate to be disappointed."

Kylo heard the man swallow uncomfortably. "I assure you my information is accurate in every detail. I've been tasked with co-piloting the craft."

He considered the man and after a short time perceived no lie in his words.

"I will inform Supreme Leader Snoke of your efforts. Await further orders." Kylo Ren ended the transmission.

He made for the senior bridge lieutenant who stood across from him supervising the graveyard crew. The lieutenant stood to attention at his approach and acknowledged him with a questioning "Sir."

"You have control of the bridge," He said. "Do not contact me."

"Yes, Sir." The lieutenant's relief was palpable as he left the bridge.

Kylo's gait was long and purposeful as excitement flooded through him. Snoke would forgive him with the retrieval of the Scavenger, but mostly he was relieved that he would see her again. 'You won't escape me this time.' he thought, drowning out the clang of his boots against the metal grating through the corridors leading to the communication room. This information would lead to her capture, he was sure.

He thought happily about how infuriated General Hux would be in the morning after finding that his spy had failed and that Kylo's had succeeded. After a short while Kylo repressed his feelings of triumph. That would be for later. Now was the time for composure. As he came upon the entrance of the communication room a guard tipped his head respectfully and turned to open the door. Without acknowledging the trooper Kylo swept into the long dark room and promptly knelt before the holocommunicator. The door slid closed behind him, encapsulating him in darkness.

Kylo Ren spoke confidently into the emptiness. "My apologies for the interruption at the late hour, Supreme Leader. I have news. Regarding the Jakku girl."

Seconds crept by until silently a blue likeness of his master materialized on the platform.

Snoke was old, and sat bent on a backless and unadorned throne, looming over Kylo Ren in the darkness. Supreme Leader Snoke was scarred and disfigured about the face, skin stretched taut against the planes of his skull, severe eyes loomed out of hooded sockets and his mouth was pulled tight in contemplation.

When he spoke it was slow. His voice deep and ominous. "What news do you bring me, my knight?" Snoke's hologram gestured for Kylo to stand.

Getting smoothly to his feet, Kylo Ren continued. "Moments ago I received intelligence that the girl has been separated from Skywalker." He gave a short pause before continuing, "She is due to captain a freighter to the Outer Rim carrying medical aid to Allyuen."

"You are sure." Snoke pressed, tightening his hold on his throne.

"I am confident that the information is accurate."

"This is a pleasing turn of events. You must collect her," Snoke mused, "She has only begun her training with Skywalker," The name rolled off of his tongue with distaste. He took a breath. "...she may still be seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."

"I will do as you command, Master." Kylo agreed softly.

"You will… but you are distracted." Snoke leaned down toward Kylo to look better at him, "Perhaps you are unprepared for this task."

Kylo lifted his head to his Master. "The girl has a strong hold on my mind." Kylo confessed. Indeed, the scavenger from Jakku had been an oddity that his mind chased intermediately throughout his adult life. He hadn't been prepared for meeting her, as adversaries or ever at all. The feeling of being thrown from her mind haunted him, and the ghost of her light hadn't faded. He could feel her tugging at his consciousness...even in this moment. "When we met, I felt the power of her Light waver my conviction." He was wrought with shame and disgust with himself. "But after receiving your wise guidance, I will not fail."

"She is unusually strong, I have felt her in the Force as well." Quiet stretched for a moment as Snoke touched his fingertips together and pressed them to his lips in thought. "Should you fail to retain her again, I fear it will be the end of you." Snoke paused to allow the weight of his words to settle on Kylo. "If you should succeed, she will become a powerful ally... potentially become more to you, if you find her agreeable."

Kylo Ren remained silent, but his back straightened in his unease as adrenaline pumped wildly through him. He was transparent in his feelings for the girl before his master.

"I know you do." Snoke chuckled darkly. "I may be old, but I am not blind. Remember the words passed to you. Through passion,..."

"I gain strength." Kylo finished quickly. "I remember them well."

"Good. Turn the passion you feel so strongly for the girl into your strength." Snoke advised. "Once you have subdued her, you will bring her to me and we will see what is to be done."

"Yes, Master." Kylo uttered obediently.

"Make the arrangements necessary for her capture. I trust that the young lady from Jakku will become your sole project for the intervening months. Kylo Ren, I don't care how it is done… but she will be drawn over to our way of seeing things." Snoke's final words were dark.

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

"If she resists your efforts, destroy her as you did your father. However tempting, I have no time for lost causes."

Kylo bowed his head. "I understand."

The hologram flickered and was gone.

He turned and left the room, absently contemplating what should be done as his feet carried him away. A squad of Stormtroopers marched past him, giving him a wide berth and a few droids rolled and walked past him in the opposite direction. Before he realized where he was headed he found himself standing in front of his personal quarters. He pressed an ungloved hand to a panel to the right of the door. It slid open to admit him and closed quietly on his heals. He released his helmet and placed it gently in it's resting place. He stepped out of his boots and removed his cowl robe and belt before he sunk onto his bed. Kylo closed his eyes and allowed his mind to revolve around the scavenger.

Rey. The girl he had seen so often in his mind, the one who had for so long sat amidst the burning dunes of Jakku, her image began to filter through his mind's eye, blurry at first but then slowly focusing. He could recall every freckle on her face and the exact color of her eyes. He could see the defiant set of her brows and the slope of her lips. The image of her began to morph into motion and she came to life.

Her chin was held high as she looked longingly toward the sky. It had been months now that she had given up on waiting for a long forgotten family who would never come. The day she gave up on them was the day he had begun to see her clearly, due to her sadness he thought. That day she had also become aware of the brilliant light that shone through her, she was no longer singularly occupied with her deep loneliness, and she'd become stronger. Tonight, as she looked into the stars he knew she was thinking of him. He could feel her hate and something less recognizable for him. He reached out and traced his bare hand across the scar she had given him. It made him shiver...and she shivered too. She could feel him through the Force. She looked right at him, as though for the first time she could see him clearly. She was crying, he saw. Instinct told him to reach out for her but he restrained the urge and gradually drew away. Kylo thought, not for the first time, that her loneliness was identical to his own.

When the scavenger arrived he would be ready for her.

He slid from his bed and sat alone in his darkened personal quarters allowing the lulling hum of the Finalizer to blanket his senses. Relief played across his strong asymmetrical features and he breathed deeply in the cool air. He looked up at the built-in hutch across from him. What little remained of his Grandfather rested upon a stone expanse horribly twisted and melted, a macabre display. He reflected on his plan for the Jakku scavenger. The easing of their animosity would take time, yet he felt confident that she would yield to him. There was a connection between them that he'd never experienced before. 

He was certain she had become more refined in the time that had passed; he'd felt her ghostly presence strengthen slowly since their last meeting. She had begun her formal training as a Jedi he knew, but he had also been strengthening his hold on the Force, refining his saber techniques and other abilities with his own master. He was nearing the end of his training, and she had only just begun. Kylo slid the pad of his finger across his face along the unfortunate scar again. She wouldn't be so lucky this time. Kylo's mind wouldn't be caught off guard again, and he had fully healed from his wounds. 

Kylo resigned himself to meditate on the matter of her rehabilitation further. He sank to his knees before his Grandfather's remains and repeated the doctrine that had been passed down to him.

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.

Through passion, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gain power.

Through power, I gain victory.

Through victory, my chains are broken.

The Force shall free me."

The words echoed off the walls, off the furnishings and sparse decor. A hollowing silence followed. Kylo took a shaking breath as he looked fretfully into the eyes that had once belonged to Darth Vader. "I will not fail." He swore adamantly.

~)o(~

Shortly after arriving on Ahch-To Rey had confided to Luke her link with Kylo Ren; and was surprised when he smiled knowingly. "This link is not unusual, Rey. Once you have become close to another Force Sensitive being, you retain a part of them, and they, a part of you."

She felt sick, contaminated, when he told her this. "Master Skywalker, that monster and I-"

"Ben."

She was taken aback, "What?"

"My nephew's name is Ben. Monster, you call him...and monster he may become, but there is still light in him."

"I didn't see any light in him when he murdered his father." Rey said, her anger rising.

Luke's features grew sad and there was a long moment before he spoke. "He has concealed it well. But, I have not lost hope."

"How can you know there is any light left if he buries it?"

"I've known Ben since he was a young child." Skywalker said, a ghost of nostalgia played in his tone. "You come to know people, given time. I trained Ben in the ways of the Force. I would be lying if I told you he didn't have darkness in him, even then; but he also had a light nearly as blinding as your own… You will become accustomed to him, even able to rebuff him in time. But a day may come where you are thankful for this link." His words from months ago echoed every night in her dreams, but despite Skywalker's warning, Rey wished she had learned to shed the touch of Kylo Ren's mind before leaving Ahch-To. Time hadn't allowed it.

The Resistance needed her.

A repetitive beep pulled her from her light dozing. It was the proximity sensor. They weren't due to arrive at the rendezvous coordinates for another day and the ship that triggered the sensor was much too large to be the Resistance Aide Crew. The ship was coming out of hyperspace.

"Jeshi! Wake the crew and prepare for warp!" Rey shouted, shaking the dozing co-pilot awake.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"We need to make a jump, there's a ship exiting hyperspace." Rey explained quickly as she punched coordinates into the computer and flipped the hyperdrive priming switches franticly.

Jeshi looked around in a panic at the levers and controls of the cockpit, eyes darting for a switch. He found the comm switch and quickly flipped it. The intercom came to life and his voice rang through the ship. "All hands to your stations! This is not a drill! Prepare for jump to hyperspace." He repeated the alarm three times.

A huge Capital Ship, emblazoned with the Polygonal crest of the First Order, exited hyperspace to their starboard side. The force of their entry rocked the small freighter. Rey tore to the computer to check the coordinate calculations for the jump to lightspeed. They checked out. She slammed her palm against the primed hyperdrive.

Nothing happened.

"Our hyperdrive is inoperative!" She said, terror flooded her veins.

As she said this, the freighter shuddered and came to a halt. They had them in a tractor beam. Rey reached for her lightsaber and yelled to Jeshi. "Get non-essential crew to the escape pods and send a distress signal. We're being boarded."

Jeshi was pale and unresponsive. "Jeshi!" Rey shook him. He looked up at her sluggishly. "Abandon ship, send the order to man escape pods."

He nodded, then spun around to the console to make the announcement. Rey was flipping off power to unnecessary systems and powering down. She wouldn't let them pull the freighter in without a good fight.

"Rey, they've jammed our communications. I can't send the distress signal."

"Damn it!" She slammed her fist against the console.

They were defenseless. A familiar cold tendril drifted over her consciousness. 'Oh no you don't.' Rey thought bitterly. 'You won't have me this easily.' She fought the sensation of Kylo's mind seeking her out.

"Make the announcement, Jeshi. I'm going to the docking bay. I'll buy the crew some time."

Rey didn't wait for his response, she ran from the cockpit and to the docking bay. She wasn't going to let them take the ship without a fight. Jeshi's voice rang out through the ship. 'Non-essential crew to escape pods, fighters to docking bay. We are being boarded.'

"How did they know we were here?" She gasped, flying down the corridors and past fleeing crew. The odds of this encounter were astronomical. 'It was me. He knew because he saw it in my mind.' The thought came unbidden and she felt ill. 'Is that possible?'

She was quickly joined in her run to the docking bay by other Resistance fighters, all armed with blasters and pulling on bits of armor and helmets as they ran. "What's happened?" A voice called from behind.

Rey forgot her internal monologue, she needed to take care of her crew. "We've been compromised, the First Order found us." Rey answered.

She could feel the anxiety and fear from her crew grow as the docking bay came into sight. A handful of Resistance fighters dashed down the final corridor to the docking bay and began piling the medical crates to act as cover. Rey quickly disabled the automatic docking protocols and disengaged the airlock doors. They would have to blast their way in.

It wasn't long after they piled the crates in their tactical favor that a metallic clunk echoed, announcing the successful linkage of their ship to the boarding party.

Rey's heart was racing. 'This was supposed to be a low-risk mission, if I'm responsible for this…' She couldn't finish that thought.

As the sound of blaster fire issued from the exterior of the airlock and the cold tendrils of Kylo's mind pressed against her again, she could feel him tightening his grip on her mind. "Not today." She said, throwing his presence from her once more...it was harder this time. She ignited her lightsaber and stepped out in front of her Resistance fighters, determined to protect them. There was a series of more blaster fire and a clank before the doors flew open and a stream of Stormtroopers spilled out into the corridor.

Rey began to deflect their blaster fire but there was soon so much that she was overwhelmed and was forced to duck back to cover with her fighters. Her crew was green; the Resistance hadn't thought they would need seasoned crew for a simple medical aide run. Two of the fighters who had joined her at the docking bay both took shots to the chest and lay motionless on the floor. None of these people were a match for a squad of Stormtroopers in full armor. She was quickly overpowered by their numbers, and three more of her crew had joined the bodies on the floor.

The Stormtroopers were slowly pushing them back down the corridor despite her best effort. She ordered a man on her right to pull the bodies away. He nodded as Rey stepped over a limp body belonging to her fallen crew. She sensed that she wasn't dead. The realization gave her a breath of relief that quickly turned to dread. They had set their weapons to stun. All semblance of calm disappeared as she realized that they had come for her.

He was behind this. 'Is he on that ship?' She wondered as she parried blaster fire and sent a large medical crate flying toward the invading Stormtroopers. The crate smashed three of the men against the far wall where they lay motionless. More poured into the bay. Rey turned her head to asses her crew. They were nearly beaten. She couldn't save them at this rate.

"Retreat!" She shouted to her two remaining crew members. She threw her left hand up and using the Force pushed the Stormtroopers off their feet and careening backwards before they hit the bulkhead and crumpled. The troopers recovered quickly and regained their ground. 'Maybe I can get on an escape pod and detonate the ship?' she thought wildly. "Retreat!" She yelled again, "To the pods!" Rey threw the troopers back once more and as they lay with the wind knocked from them, Rey and her crew ran headlong down the next corridor to a juncture. As they turned the corner the fighter on her right tripped over the blast door seal. "Keep going!" Rey yelled at the other man, who had halted his run. "I've got him." she said as she backtracked and assisted her comrade. However, as she knelt to pull him to his feet a stray blast took her square in the shoulder, knocking her back. Everything went momentarily black.

Rey was vaguely aware of his dark hold on her, he had regained a connection with her and she was unable to fight him off completely. Her head rang and thudded terribly. A tall chrome-clad trooper lifted her from the floor and pressed cuffs around her wrists. Her lightsaber was pulled from her loose grip.

Despite the pounding in her head, she fought to keep a hold on her mind, she wouldn't let him make her unconscious as he had the first time. She grew more aware of her surroundings as his hold loosened. She was being dragged from the corridor to the docking bay. Confusion ricocheted through her mind. 'I'm going the wrong way.' she thought dumbly. 'What are they doing?' she thought, alarmed when she saw the limp bodies of her crew being thrown into an airlock enclosure.

"No!" She screamed, throwing Kylo completely from her mind. Terrible clarity dawned on her. She scrambled and clawed, kicked and screamed at the figures who restrained her, but was forced to watch helplessly as her crew was jettisoned through the airlock before something hard collided with the back of her skull and darkness resumed.

...

A camera monitored her movements in the unfaltering dimness. Indistinct shadows cast across the metal floor, walls, and smoothed contours of the secured cell. In one corner a corroded faucet wept a trickle of water into a rounded basin. In the opposite corner a lidless toilet jutted from between alloy studs.

A singular trooper had visited her with food. When he'd turned to leave, she threw him forward with the Force and dashed from the cell. Disoriented as she was and with her head pounding, he quickly caught her, threw her against the wall, and slapped her so hard across the face that her world spun and she tasted blood. He dragged her back to the cell, and kicked her inside. The man had taken the time to remove his helmet and wipe a trickle of blood from his lip. His brown eyes bore into her with hatred. "Your crew is dead, and you will be too if you try that again." His gloved fist punched the door closure and that had been all.

Since that incident her only stimulus had been a droid. It pushed gruel through a narrow slot in her cell door and retrieved her used trays. There was no way to be certain that it came at regular intervals and the hum of the engines droned endlessly and devoid of modulation which made time progress unnaturally. There wasn't a sure way of telling how long she'd been held on the vessel, but she guessed it had been some standard days now.

Rey's mind drifted back to Jakku. She thumbed absently at her split and swollen lip, a token of her first night here. The thought of sunlight on her face made her shiver and pull the thin blanket more tightly around herself and consider again what would be done with her.

They would deliver her presently to the First Order, she knew, directly into the waiting hands of Supreme Leader Snoke. Rey shuddered. No, it wouldn't be Snoke that awaited her there. That introduction would be later if she was very unlucky. First she would be greeted by his Knights of Ren. Rey hoped she would be able to pull off another odd defying escape before she had the misfortune of meeting Snoke on his own terms. However if she was kept in a cell much like this aboard the Finalizer she had little hope. 

Her trepidation swelled as she recalled Starkiller Base. Waking restrained to his masked helmet. The sensation of her mind being broken. Feeling his astonishment as she returned the favor. Han run through by that wretched excuse for a lightsaber. Herself and Finn fleeing from the exploding thermal oscillator compound. Being hunted like small game through the forest. Thrown against a tree, Finn injured and unconscious in the snow, and Kylo Ren looming over him trying to call his Grandfather's lightsaber to his palm from a snowdrift.

His disbelief and fury when it came to her outstretched hand instead.

They fought ruthlessly in the snow and Rey swallowed with the knowledge that had he been uninjured, hadn't been bleeding out, she would have been struck down. She had been lucky and upon her escape from the crumbling base, among her relief and worry for Finn, she sensed she had not completely escaped him.

The monster was still with her. She could feel the tendrils of his consciousness even now. His visage swam before her closed eyes and she remembered back to a night not long ago when she had sensed him watching her. It was definitely him, though he'd felt different; she'd felt his loneliness, his contemplation, his stillness. She felt goodness in him, but she also couldn't forget what he'd done and the remembrance of Han Solo had made her weep.

This wasn't the time to analyze the odd encounter. She needed to focus and remain calm, meditate, but it was proving much harder than it had been on Ahch-To. With master Skywalker she had been able to ignore the lingering feel of Kylo Ren within her mind, but here in space, in this cell, his presence threatened her. She could feel the pleasure and excitement that had radiated off him at the news of her capture and it only increased in intensity as her time here passed. Rey again fought to clear her mind. She grasped her fear and pushed it from her. She reminded herself forcefully that Kylo Ren was only a man, not altogether the monstrous nightmare she had built him up to be.

However ferocious he was, she sensed herself more powerful than him with the Force. 

'Master Skywalker would be disappointed.' Rey thought callously. She adjusted her position, folding her bruised limbs into the correct meditative pose. She focused her thoughts to the hum of the ship. Deep rumbling and whirling encompassing her, coming as cotton to her eardrums. Straightening her spine and breathing in a shaky but deep breath, a calm washed over her. Closing her eyes she repeated the Jedi mantra, as Master Skywalker had taught her, within her mind to center herself in the Force.

'There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.'

Rey could feel the light caress of the Force. She became aware of how it wound itself around her. Through her. It was strong and resonated in her core. Rey reached out for Master Skywalker, searching again for the familiarity of him within the unfathomable vastness of the Universe. She had tried to reach him, to reach anyone during her time here. It would seem she was thwarted, again. No one answered. Master Skywalker was a phantom to her now.

Rey was disappointed with herself. She wondered if the months of training had been for nothing.

'Am I worthy?'

With that stray thought she was seized by a conviction hitherto unknown to her. She wouldn't fail. Not this time. She plunged her mind into the depths of the Force in search once more.

The strain of her search was becoming visible. Sweat clung to her brow and her veins bulged with each pulse.

Something within her mind tore painfully and a gaping chasm opening before her. There was so much more here than she had ever experienced. It was overwhelming. The chasm threatened to pull her to oblivion but also to disappear with a breath. Rey became aware of a familiar presence in this place. It was him. And he felt her too. Master Skywalker's mind came crashing around her. She could feel the restrained worry and the utter relief flow from him. Life swam back into her the ache and strain on her body was forgotten. Her breath came easily now.

He spoke lightly. "We were beginning to worry."

Rey teemed with information. Thrusting her memories toward him through the void, only to withdraw herself, eyes stinging and brimming with tears.

Luke considered what she had shown him. His blue eyes calculating. Then he spoke to her.

"Keep heart my padawan, all is not lost. You must guard your feelings of fear, hate, and guilt closely. They make you vulnerable to the Dark Side. The death of your crew does not lay with you and to allow their sacrifice to cloud your judgment would not honor them."

"Yes, Master. There is no emotion, there is peace." Rey choked out. Desperately trying to erase her fear and swallow her guilt.

Skywalker's eyes warmed to her for a moment before, "I am happy to see you unharmed, though I find you are under prepared, despite our efforts, for the path that now lies ahead." He sighed heavily. "They will bring you to the Knights of Ren, they will take you to Snoke. He will attempt to sway you to the Dark Side. You must remain valuable to them without conceding."

Rey trembled at the thought.

"You are strong with the Force, stronger than you believe." Skywalker insisted. "You must vigilantly search for a weakness. Exploit any weakness shown to you by the First Order. This may be a blessing in disguise."

"Master, I was unable to escape capture. I couldn't save my crew. I'm unarmed. How can I to defeat them? How can I escape?"

"Do not escape." The words struck her.

"Master?"

"You would do well to play into whatever they have planned for you. For the time being. You are not yet trained, you can't hope to overcome them alone. The Resistance will come for you." He paused. "When we found the remains of your freighter…" He was considering his next words.

"When you found my freighter?" She prompted, momentarily distracted from her moral dilemma.

"Your capture wasn't an anomaly." He frowned deeply, and Rey waited for more. "There is no accounting for the precision of the attack, the timing, to make us believe they happened upon you by chance. There is ample evidence pointing to a spy aboard your ship. Your flight plans were divulged to the First Order. Along with your compliment and supplies." Rey was quiet, thinking.

"I do recall a man saying we would rendezvous with the Finalizer." Rey said, hopefully.

"It's a place to start. The General and I will discuss what needs to be done. We can't afford another of my Padawan's to be seduced by the Dark Side."

Rey felt hurt, a pulling sensation. Did he not trust her?

Luke must have felt her distress. "My worry is not a reflection of you, Rey, but of our adversaries. What awaits you in the following days will be dark."

"Master?"

"Ben Solo. He is capable of swaying you from the Light...if you do not guard yourself from him. He is efficient, purposeful, and convincing...ruthless perhaps, but strong. No doubt Snoke has kept him at arm's length in his tutelage as to avoid creating a formidable adversary. The Dark Side is shrouded to me. However I sense that Snoke has reconsidered the danger you pose to him and the First Order...and has advanced Ben's training after the event's on Starkiller Base. You may not be walking into the clutches of an apprentice but a fully realized Sith Lord."

Another pull. But not of unease at her master's words.

Rey felt odd. It hadn't come from Master Skywalker. Her concentration was faltering and Skywalker had noticed the lapse.

"What distracts you?"

"I feel…" Rey searched for the word. "Nothing."

Luke became troubled.

"You must withdraw from the Force. You must be aware of your immediate surroundings. We'll come for you, may the Force be with you."

The connection was severed and he was gone.

Her surroundings came crashing down on her. The constant hum of the engines was gone. The ship had stopped. She stayed folded on her cot, centering herself. If they arrived at the rendezvous point she would soon be handed off to Kylo Ren and she must be calm as Master Skywalker had instructed. It was difficult now, she could feel him, the dark awareness that in recent months had only been like smoke had suddenly thickened to water. He threatened to drown her.

There were footsteps echoing down the corridor beyond her cell. It certainly wasn't the droid she had become accustomed to. Rey opened her eyes. She considered standing but thought better of it. She didn't want to be man-handled the way she had been before. She would cooperate and pose no threat when her cell opened. So she stayed as she was, sitting crossed legged with her palms cupped in one another resting gently on her lap. Rey forced the tension from her neck and back. She repeated the Jedi mantra in her mind again. The footsteps were louder now. Heavy boots falling one after the other, a symphony, coming towards her.

Rey breathed deeply. In. Out. In again. The progression had paused just outside her door. There was the sound of beeping, a code being pressed into a panel. A sharp tone of acceptance. An audible click and hiss from the door as it unlocked.

The cell door withdrew into the wall with a whoosh. Revealing a purple film which stretched across the new opening and behind the film, which was certainly a shield, was a handful of Stormtroopers lead by the chrome one that had carried her off her destroyed freighter.

"The prisoner will stand." The chrome one ordered. It was a woman's voice, authoritative and cold and distorted through the filter of her helmet.

Rey stood slowly and blinked at her company not daring to speak.

"You will walk five paces and turn around." The armored woman instructed.

Not liking the order at all but determined not to get shot, Rey walked five paces forward and paused. She kept a level stare at the troopers.

Apparently not amused, the lead Stormtrooper lifted her blaster threateningly. "Turn around with your arms behind your back." It was firm and filled with a promise to hurt her badly if she didn't comply promptly.

Rey did as she was ordered and turned around, placing her arms behind her back and grasping her hands together while trying to maintain some dignity.

There was more beeping behind her and a crackle as the shield faded. Stormtroopers entered her cell and one grasped her hands and placed restraints on her wrists. They gave a firm tug to test that the restraints were secure. Two sets of white and black clad arms and hands clutched her by the shoulders and wrists and turned her around to face the exit. The chrome leader tilted her head down the corridor and held her blaster steady. "Forward march, prisoner."

~)o(~

The lambda-class shuttle received docking permission and was shortly held secure with the tractor beam. It was pulled smoothly into an empty hangar aboard the Finalizer, where his lone black cloaked and helmeted figure served as the shuttle's welcome party.

As the shuttle's wings folded neatly upwards and the landing gear compressed under the weight of the craft Kylo could feel her so strongly. Her feelings had been unusually easy to asses since her capture, her dread and frustration washed over his senses like a tidal wave. The entry ramp slid gracefully away from the hull and touched the black substrate of the hanger. The engines were switched to auxiliary power and the loud thrum faded to a low hum. The lights switched off and a chrome-clad captain exited the shuttle, her cape swinging out behind her as she marched directly to attention before him.

"Sir, we await your orders." Captain Phasma clipped with professional brevity.

"I will escort your troopers and the prisoner to the cell block. From there you will relinquish your hold of the prisoner to me and return to your usual duties." Kylo informed the Captain.

"Yes, sir." Captain Phasma gestured back to a trooper that had come to stand by the entry ramp. He nodded and disappeared into the shuttle. Kylo felt the scavenger's anxiety then. He sympathized with her, she hadn't sought to be caught in this power struggle between the First Order and the Resistance. It happened upon her by chance. He felt some pity for her, but immediately quashed it...pity was a weakness. He watched her being forcefully marched from the shuttle and decided she was undeserving of pity anyway. She kept her head held high despite the rags she had been forced to wear and the bruises that blossomed over her sun-kissed skin.

Although his stare was shielded from her she locked her eyes on him. Kylo was impressed with her outward composure. If he couldn't feel her mind he'd have been fooled. He pressed his mind against hers firmly. The time for gentle caresses had passed, he knew that if he wanted to shut her down quickly he needed to assert himself now. He shared his unyielding resolve to never underestimate her again.

She flinched under the sudden weight of his mind, and her gaze turned quickly from trepidation to hatred. 'Hatred is good.' he thought, 'I can work with that.' Kylo felt her begin to push back, trying to force him from her mind as she had done once before. He'd been expecting it and he redoubled his efforts. A useful memory shimmered brightly before him and he tore at it, forcing it to the forefront of her mind, the memory of her crew being jettisoned from the airlock. The memory was answered by a single tear which escaped her hazel eyes before she turned her face from his. Feeling that he had won their little battle of wills, he withdrew from her as the escorting party reached him.

"Lead on, Captain." Kylo instructed, as he stepped aside and joined the guard.

The scavenger was lead through a route with many twists and turns and she took to quickly glancing about with an air of determination that was easy to observe without his ability to read her feelings. Her eyes flitted this way and that, lingering on vents and narrow passageways as they progressed deeper into the ship. She was trying to memorize the route, he realized, and he was glad that he had expressly chosen a convoluted maze to get to their destination. Upon reaching cell block twenty-one, the prisoner watched as he ungloved his right hand and pressed his palm to the reader. The door flew wide after a beep and she was pushed forward into her new cell. Her eyes betrayed her surprise.

"This will do, Captain." As he spoke he slipped his fingers back into the black glove.

"Uncuff the prisoner." Captain Phasma ordered to the trooper that held the scavenger's restraints.

"Yes, Sir." The trooper replied.

"Leave her restrained," Kylo corrected the trooper in a bored tone. "I'm not done with her."

"Of coarse." Phasma acquiesced. "Squadron, report to your posts." The Captain commanded. The Stormtroopers filed neatly out of the cell.

"I will call for you if the need arises." He said dismissively. " General Hux is on the bridge, report to him for your debriefing."

"Yes, Sir." The Captain snapped to attention, then turned neatly around and strode from the cell after her squad. The door clapped shut on her heals.

'Now, let's see how much you've grown' He thought.

When he dove into her mind she was hot against his consciousness. He found her lurking fears instantly and pressed against them. Then he found her pain. The sensation sent her to her knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [Acquisition](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/art/Acquisition-655515871) by [PangolinPirate](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s44.photobucket.com/user/pangolinpirate/media/Acquisition_zpsxv1brbog.jpg.html)  
> 


	2. Aberration

Rey's heart fluttered frantically against her ribs. Her eyes widened and drank in her new surroundings aboard the Finalizer. She'd expected an interrogation chair, but there wasn't one. She was hesitant to describe this as a cell. It couldn't be described as extravagant, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it was far more agreeable than she could have possibly hoped.

Instead of a cot, there was a sleeping alcove and mat, with a folded thick blanket at its foot, and a plush pillow at the head. A single bench curved around a simple table which came seamlessly from the wall and joined the floor. A bulkhead doubled as a wall separating a simple refresher from the main room, Rey wasn't sure, but it seemed as though it had a sonic washer. 'This is unexpectedly generous.' she thought in confusion. In the short time she had taken in her new cage her attention was grabbed again by her captors.

"This will do, Captain." Kylo spoke from behind her.

"Uncuff the prisoner." The Captain, Rey now knew as Phasma, ordered.

"Yes, Sir." The harsh reply came from near her left ear.

"Leave her restrained," Kylo's deep voice punctured the air, making her heart plummet with dread. "I'm not done with her yet."

"Of coarse. Squadron, report to your posts." Captain Phasma commanded, and obediently her men filed out of the cell.

"I will call for you if the need arises." Rey felt sick at the sound of his filtered voice. "General Hux awaits you on the bridge for your debriefing."

"Yes, Sir." Rey heard the click of the Captain's standard issued boots against the floor and her steps as she retreated from the cell. She flinched as the door snapped closed, sealing herself and the monster inside.

Rey felt certain that her heartbeat was audible to him, perceptible even through his helmet, in the dense silence that now hung heavy in the air. She stood still, not ready to turn to face him. She would let him make the first move, so she braced herself. And not a moment too soon.

It felt as though she'd been plunged under water and electricity tore down her spine, she collapsed. Her knees biting the solid floor as she fell.

Unbidden, images flashed across her mind.

The echoing thrum-whoosh of his crackling lightsaber bathed the powdered snow around her with a hellish glow as he stalked toward her… the air was sucked from her lungs and she gasped while clutching feebly at her throat. Her crew floated before her, all with dead accusing, unseeing eyes looking up at her. He was before her, his hands were firm against her skull pushing his way into her synapses, dredging through her childhood and bringing her loneliness to the forefront of her mind.

This was different from the last time Kylo Ren had probed her mind. This was refined, masterful. Rey fought to regain her breath and throw him from her but the memories he tore from her made her fearful, and so strengthened his hold on her. Master Luke cautioned her against her fear... she clung to his words desperately while she fought to clear her mind. 'There is no passion, there is serenity' she reminded herself. She drew in a breath and detached herself from her body, effectively tearing the memories back from Kylo's grasp. She pushed them down safely away from his prying. Her small victory fueled his anger, she felt it lap at her with dark promise. The feel of darkness disoriented her, made her lapse in concentration and allowed him further inside. It felt like ice was clawing at her brain.

She shook with each shallow gulp of air, and imagined her fear, anxiety, and hatred being expelled from her with each exhale. His grip on her slackened and the icy rake of his mind abated. She took the opportunity to lash out at him, driving her mind along his own leaving fire in her wake. 

If she had burned him, he didn't show any sign. 

Instead, a crackle of electricity surged down her spine once more which made her twist and arch her back in pain, leaving her shaking on the floor. The fragile calm which she had begun to knit around her consciousness unraveled.

Seconds of silence stretched into minutes as he probed deeper into her mind, it took all the strength she could muster to parry his advances, but she'd only been successful at keeping her memories to herself.

Quite suddenly he was gone.

Her skin began to crawl in anticipation and her heart beat erratically.

She could sense the dark pressure of him pulsing around her as she fortified her mind. Relieved but mostly confused by his retreat.

Again Rey's mind churned, and as though to answer her unspoken anxiety, his mind was clawing it's way back around her own, transforming her fears into vivid reality in her mind. She felt her flesh being carved delicately from the muscle of her hand, exposing bone and tendon. She screamed, attempted to pull away but her wrists were immobilized, bound to the interrogation chair. He loomed over her as she screamed, the crackle and glow of his lightsaber cast a haunting red light across his features. 'You know I can take whatever I want.' The words echoed in her mind as he ran the blade slowly over her mutilated flesh, cauterizing it. Through her screaming and the pain, his voice entered her mind. 'You need a teacher.' she shook her head and she felt a tear escape her. Kylo lifted his free gloved hand and cupped her face, running his thumb across her cheek to sweep away her tear. The hum of his lightsaber beat against her eardrums and drowned out her thoughts.

"I'll never turn to the Dark Side!" She shouted.

His features contorted in disappointment and the hand that cradled her face now gripped her tightly. Painfully. She tried to turn her head away as he brought his face near to hers. "I can teach you the ways of the Force." He whispered, his cool breath washing across her hot skin.

She tried to pull away from his grasp but was unsuccessful. "Never. I'll nev-"

His lips crashed down against her own and lingered, effectively silencing her. When he pulled away she gasped for air and her head spun. "I regret that you feel that way." He breathed...and as he held her helpless he plunged his lightsaber through her breast.

Anger cascaded through her and she tore her mind from the dark vision. Rey scraped her fracturing composure together and forced a calm to rest on her mind once again. 'I must stay calm.'

The minutes lengthened. His mind's weight transformed. The storm calmed and his touch felt akin to the cold lapping waves of Ahch-To. She could picture the foam and salt water caressing her bare ankles. She felt curiosity peak in the mind enveloping her own. Frustrated, she buried the feel of cool water on her skin. 'I can't think of that place.' She scolded herself, and pushed Ahch-To from her thoughts.

The silent push and pull of their minds continued. It wasn't long before the exchange became bearable, however unsettling. Just like an ocean. Her heart had resumed its resting pace and his mind hadn't dove into her's forcing visions to play in her consciousness for well over a half hour.

He hadn't moved, not even to shift his weight, and was ever vigilant in guarding his emotions since his curiosity got the better of him. The few times she'd attempted to follow his touch back to him she only found stone, nothing like she had seen in him before. All she could feel was his masked eyes boring into the back of her head. She was sure he was reading her like a schematic, sizing her up, looking for a weakness in her design. She couldn't get a feel for what he was thinking or feeling in this moment, only a general sense of concentration. She wanted desperately to lean away from him. To run. But she understood enough about his nature to remain still. Any sudden movement would excite him into a chase and there was nowhere for her to hide and nothing to defend herself with.

He was toying with her and she hated it.

Time rolled on. Neither individual giving or taking ground, no sound but their combined measured intake and expulsion of air.

In an unguarded moment, she opened her eyes. He'd shifted. She felt dread fill her completely in the span of one heartbeat. Still nothing happened. Thump. Thump thump. 'Is he coming closer or moving away?' Her heart picked up its tempo instantly. She couldn't bare having him to her back any longer. She twisted around and looked up at him. He had taken a step toward her, and was taking another. Rey stood quickly and backed away, but there wasn't far to go before she collided with the back wall of her cell.

"Don't touch me." She hissed. She sent the Force through her and directed it at him. He wasn't thrown back as the Stormtroopers were on her freighter,as she had come to expect when she used the Force push. He merely skidded back a few centimeters.

He lifted his own hand and she froze, pinned helplessly agains the wall. His mind's weight lifted from her entirely before he strode to her. Their Force signatures crackled between them.

"You have much to learn." His voice sent a chill down her spine. He reached around her back and gripped her restraints. At his touch the cuffs deactivated and fell from her wrists. He turned his back to her and walked to the control pad. He pressed his hand to the panel and a sharp tone pierced the air. The cell door opened and Kylo Ren walked measuredly from the cell. Thump thump. Thump thump. The abrupt slam of the door rocked her. Thump thump.

She released the breath she'd been holding and her knees shook violently, she swayed and allowed the artificial gravity to pull her to the floor once more.

~)o(~

Kylo waited outside the cell door and gazed into the security screen. The scavenger had collapsed and sat motionless in her cell.

He wrestled with his feelings, a large part of him was pleased with the effect he had on her. The power he held over her without lifting a single finger was intoxicating. He only needed to stroke her fears with his touch to make her spiral into visions of terror. There was also a grain of himself, which he was keen to ignore, that felt nauseated at what he had done. He stood watching her pull herself together. She dragged her battered limbs off the floor and massaged her wrists. He was displeased with her might have come more quietly. But the distance between himself and the scavenger had been to great to render unconscious. If he had been successful she would have been spared the rough handling.

Kylo looked on interestedly as the scavenger began to move about her cell. She touched the sleeping mat and folded blanket testing the texture against her palms. She moved onto the table and bench, then the refresher. She stood in the bulkhead for awhile in thought, considering the sonic washer before she looked over her shoulder and scanned the walls and ceiling. Her eyes slid quickly across every surface before they met with the security camera. She watched it, judging its range of view with narrowed eyes. Kylo could feel a calm steal over her after a short time. She acknowledged him, sending him a firm shove with her mind. He didn't reply with a push of his own, but instead enjoyed the sensation of her defiance as it sparked along his consciousness. She kept her eyes firm upon the camera, her contemptuous face glared out at him from the viewer before she turned away and disappeared behind the bulkhead.

'Yes, that's enough.' Kylo agreed. He had already unnerved her today, there was no need to antagonize her further by watching her. He'd established who was in control and now he would afford her some measure of privacy. With a press of a button he cut the visual feed and started back to his personal quarters five decks above. As he moved through the corridor he stopped a passing droid and instructed it to deliver fresh clothing and a small amount of food to the scavenger's cell. He wouldn't allow her to wear her filthy Resistance rags while aboard this ship; and he decided it could be her choice as to whether or not she'd like to starve.

In his usual fashion Kylo Ren skipped dining in the mess with the Officers… he would have a droid deliver his rations to his quarters.

Her presence was distracting. He felt a constant pull of awareness from her. That was the point he reminded himself. He was determined to desensitize himself to her and she to him. However, he was glad to be removed from the scavenger's immediate presence.

He desperately desired to discover what gets under her skin, assess her weaknesses and strengths. Test her limits... of this he was most looking forward to. Though, after today he had some apprehension about the prospects of convincing her he was deserving of her trust. He'd seen clearly what she thought of him… and he agreed distantly with her assessment. He had admittedly enjoyed seeing what she thought he might do with her. He considered the kiss she'd imagined, before his lightsaber drove through her. He wasn't sure where that had come from… but she was right to worry about meeting her end in the same fashion as Han Solo. If she didn't cooperate.

He was so caught inside his own mind that General Hux managed to approach him without his notice. The man had come within two meters of him before he realized. Kylo slowed his pace to allow the General to fall into step by his side, but annoyance began to build in his chest with Hux's distraction.

"Congratulations are due." The General bit out with poorly disguised enmity. "The girl is in your custody."

"Thank you, General." Kylo replied slowly, and he looked over at the shorter man. "However, I sense that your deep desire to congratulate my success was not the reason you've sought me out."

Hux cleared his throat nonchalantly and Kylo felt Hux's irritation swell. "Indeed, no." and he met Kylo's gaze. "Captain Phasma requested I relinquish this to you." The General pulled a silver and black hilt from his belt with smug satisfaction. "She was in rather a hurry to see to her next assignment. It's neglect was assuredly a small oversight due to your haste as the prisoner switched hands." 

Kylo had been so involved with the girl that he had forgotten about this secondary prize. He immediately willed his grandfather's lightsaber into his outstretched hand. A grimace pulled at the features of the General's pale face as the lightsaber left his gloved grip.

The General was preparing a verbal sparring match that he had no intention of joining. He stopped suddenly and turned to face him. He could feel the General's dislike for him swirl hotly around himself and decided he should kill the impending unpleasant conversation before the General could birth it.

"My thanks again. Now, if you would excuse me General, there is business needing my immediate attention." His voice rang with undisguised insincerity.

"I'm sure." Hux drawled wholly unconvinced. His blue eyes flashed with rage beneath his stern red eyebrows as he turned on his heel and marched back down the corridor. He watched the the General's back retreating, and disappear around a bend before he continued on his way. 

His mood soured with every step, irritated that he owed the General some form of gratitude for collecting him from the destroyed base two months prior. The memory of being collected by Hux after being found wounded and vulnerable in the snow was simply unbearable.

As he made his way into the lift that would bring him to the correct deck, his grip tightened around the lightsaber hilt and he savored the weight of it. He held it up to inspect it further. The lightsaber was fitting for it's use and reflective of it's original master. It was imbalanced, heavy for it's size, constructed by his grandfather for maximum power. It made his own crackling and unstable lightsaber with it's ancient vented design appear antiquated, unrefined… and he supposed it was. He couldn't be more satisfied now that this essential heirloom was in his possession. Out of the unworthy Resistance sympathizing hands of the Jakku scavenger, and into the capable hands. The blade could now go forth and finish what it's original master had started. 

He remembered how the girl had used this weapon against him. He ignited the blade to inspect it more closely. Uncertainty tinged his sentiments for it … this lightsaber had answered to her, not him that night.

Kylo had reached his destination.

Upon entering his quarters he set the Jedi weapon beside the shriveled vestiges of Darth Vader.

'United once more.' he thought solemnly, but feeling closer to his goal than he had in years.

He continued into his dimly lit room and diverged from his normal routine. He removed his helmet unceremoniously and flung it into the cushioned chair by his communication control desk. It landed with a muffled thunk. He shed his outer cloak, gloves, hood, belt and saber hilt before making his way lazily to the refresher adjacent to his main quarters. He unclipped the strap the held his sleeves together and peeled them away, unstrapped and kicked off his heavy boots, and stepped out of his thick black combat pants. When he looked up from the floor his dark brown eyes stared back at him. 

He'd become accustomed to seeing the scar that marred his features now. The fresh pink skin stretched from jaw to brow. He looked away from his naked reflection and stepped into the sonic washer. He stood, bored, as the waves crashed against his body. The experience left something to be desired. Nothing compared to a real wash with hot water and soap. As he waited, the feel of his lips pressed against the girl's swam back to the forefront of his mind. He'd been as shocked as her. 'Where had that come from?' he wondered. It hadn't been real, only her imagination running wild with fear but he wondered if he hadn't influenced her. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. She was beautiful in her own wild sort of way. She was powerful, and he wanted her, but he had to wonder in what way. Had he succumbed to his baser instincts when he probed her mind? It wasn't a real question, he knew he had. He had influenced her, his fears had trickled through his composure and she'd seen them wether or not she'd realized it. 'She's more intuitive than I thought.' 

The programmed time elapsed and he stepped out of the contraption and redressed in his sleeping attire. He gathered and folded his usual garments and placed them neatly in a built-in storage cabinet, finally collecting his disregarded helmet from the chair in the corner before sitting in the solitude of his room watching disinterestedly through one of the four portholes of his cabin; and lost himself in thought.

He had dreamt of her face and kind eyes long before he had seen them in the flesh. Seeing her clearly in the old Takodanian forest had been surreal. Their meeting had been unavoidable. She had been everything he envisioned her to be as she fired at him attempting to halt his inevitable approach, she backed away terrified but defiant. He'd lost sight of his mission once he came upon her, the Force persuaded him to take her.

The hour of silent observation this evening hadn't been enough for him. She'd raised more questions than she'd answered.

He reflected on her stillness. She made it clear that she had no intention of fighting him. He hadn't expected that. There was nothing left to him besides drinking in her repressed fear for him, he could feel the tendrils of her anxiety caress his mind. With an encouraging push, he ignited and fanned the flames of her fears, and she tortured herself more thoroughly than he ever could; and her tortured silence had quickly become his new favorite game. That was, until she had manifested his own fear… he pulled back then.

He felt her pulsing light calm from afar and the change drew him from his mind. She was meditating. Reaching out for Skywalker. He couldn't allow that. He focused his own energy on blocking her attempts. She grew frustrated and exhausted as time dragged on, eventually giving up and her light faded into a glow.

He concentrated on her and pressed gently against her warm presence and felt her immediate rebuke of him... she sent fire through his veins, accosting his senses. Disappointed but unsurprised by her response he changed his tactics.

~)o(~

While she stood in the waves of the sonic washer she tried to piece everything together. She was taken aback by the monster's behavior. He had not probed her mind for the information she had escaped with when last they had met. Surely, the First Order still wanted that information? How had he made her cave to her fearful imagination? It hadn't been what she expected from him.  
She remembered back a few months. To their previous encounter, when he swung his lightsaber mercilessly against her, driving her to a cliff. His voice sounded like a plea when he insisted she needed a teacher and he had offered rather desperately to show her the ways of the Force. The idea was still like poison to her. She had surprised even herself with her strength as she threw him away from her. He had gone deathly pale and she knocked him back casting his lightsaber from his hand and cut him across his face. Before she could finish him the crust of Starkiller Base split wildly around them and she turned away from him and ran. Leaving him bleeding in the snow with unreleased fury burning in his eyes.

Rey didn't want to redress in the scraps of clothing that she had been wearing once she stepped out of the sonic washer. She felt considerably better after washing and decided putting the old sweaty things back on would ruin her returning dignity. After folding the dirty tunic and pants and setting them neatly on the little table she sat in her sleeping alcove and used the blanket to cover herself.

She was surprised when a droid pushed a fresh set of clothing and some food into her cell. Rey leapt from the foam mat to get a better look. It was a pair of dark black pants and a long gray tunic with quarter-length sleeves and a black belt. The meal was similar to the nutritional packets she was used to, though even this ration was small for Jakku. First she took the clothing and dressed quickly, thankful for the new clean attire. Then she took the food tray and went to sit at the table and ate the flavorless nutritional gelatin.

After her meal she searched the cell and found some pleasing features. Firstly, there was a dial that controlled the lighting and secondly, she had been given a cup for drinking.

Frustration smoldered in her. She was meditating as there wasn't much else to do, and she was having more difficulty here than in her last cell. She wanted to speak with Master Luke again. His presence would be an incredible comfort to her now, but for the time being she gave up on her attempts to contact him. The struggle was only serving to increase her distress and that wasn't what she needed. She stood and began to pace her cell and stretched her tender arms and legs to keep up her circulation. She was getting bored of her isolation. Solitude she could deal with but this lack of distraction for her mind and body was torturous and beginning to make her fidgety.

Maybe she should try sleeping, she hadn't been able to manage more than a light rest in the last few days.

She turned the light out, and made her way to the alcove where her mat and blanket waited for her. The foam of the mat was considerably more comfortable than the cot and the blanket provided a pleasant barrier from the cold air. She squirmed on the mat and buried her face into the pillow, willing herself to sleep.

As she found some comfort and her mind began to swim towards unconsciousness she felt his cold mind reach out and caress her. She didn't think she would have noticed it had she not been so relaxed and ready for sleep. It sent her into a rage of intensity that frightened her. She struggled to push him from her mind but it was impossible.

"I don't desire to harm you."

"Get out of my head." She was fighting to force him out, but shook with the effort to push him away.

She gained some footing, it was becoming less difficult for her to block him. But he wouldn't allow her to throw him from her mind again. He pushed back firmly and reigned in her mind tightly.

"There's no need for shoving." he said calmly.

She was fuming, which made his work considerably easier.

"Rey." He said simply.

A vortex of confusion, panic, and fear rose up within her. He'd never addressed her using her name and the sound of it coming from him was chilling.

She wondered briefly how he knew her name. She didn't know how to respond, she was thinking brazenly of the only thing she might be able to say back to him.

She slammed the defenses of her mind back in place before replying in a hiss. "You're not welcome here, Ben." She felt the shiver that ran along his spine.

"Ben Solo died a long time ago." he informed her slowly, sadly, but he withdrew from her nonetheless.

The intrusion set her nerves on end again and she lay awake in the darkness, too vulnerable for sleep.

He used her name. For the first time addressing her as a person and she effectively lost her composure. The sound of his voice wrapped around her name and echoed in her mind. She never wanted to hear it again.

It was hard to find sleep, but exhaustion eventually won out over her desire to stay alert, and a restless unconsciousness stole over her.

Her toes gripped and stretched out into burning sand. The sun was setting; casting long shadows across the yellow dunes. Rey sat, leaning against the wrecked shell of her AT-AT, wearing an old rebel helmet… this was something she did routinely in the evenings as the sun dipped below the horizon.

There was a commotion. Something not far away. The sound came from behind her. Curiosity roused her and she threw the helmet from her head and stood, looking around. Whatever it was, it was happening on the other side of that southern dune. She decided to investigate, she ran along the leg of the toppled and half buried machine and grabbed her staff before making in the direction of the sound.

A sense of familiarity was beginning to dawn on her as she climbed the large dune; the thought that this had happened before began to tug at the edges of her mind. She clambered to the rim of the dune and looked over the ridge cautiously.

She was confused when nothing met her eyes. She turned around quickly as another sound assaulted her. The whirling screech of approaching Twin Ion Engine Starfighters. The fact that she had identified them as such did not strike her as odd as she ran as fast as her legs would carry her back toward her shelter. She couldn't be discovered. Half way down the dune the cry of the TIE fighters vanished. She stopped, perplexed. 'What's happening?' The thought vanished from her mind just as suddenly as the Starfighters. The sun sank completely. In the dark she felt a sweeping sense of doom.

Thrum-woosh. A deafening continuous hum echoed around her.

No. Not him.

She urged her legs to run, but it was as if her limbs were no longer her own. She didn't move... she couldn't move! It was too late. Panic was bubbling up in her and she closed her eyes against the crimson glow that began to bleed over the sand… no, snow. She was surrounded by snow.

She struggled against the invisible bond that held her there, frozen. She could hear the crunch of his boots as he approached, hear the whip of his cloak bellowing around him.

"We're not done yet." He said, coming nearer.

The glow and crackling hum of his lightsaber was consuming her senses.

The monster that dressed as a man stalked around her and she could see herself reflected in his mask.

"Don't fight this." his voice was darkness in her ears, hollow and encompassing. "I don't desire to harm you."

Although scared and defenseless she pushed hard against her limbs, willing them to move, to be free.

Anything to escape.

"No." His tone was dangerous. She felt more pressure encase her, it became hard to breathe.

She choked, struggled, and then stilled.

"That's better." He said softly, and the pressure released her. "Now." He said, coming closer. "You'll show me what you know. Show me the way to Skywalker."

"No." She was pleased that her voice at least hadn't betrayed her.

He looked down at her for a quiet moment.

"Speak carefully now." his words were a growl and he extinguished his lightsaber, placing it safely on his belt. He reached for his helmet, the filter hissed and released then moved away from his face… he pulled the helmet up and off his head and tucked the mask neatly under his arm. His heavy lidded and troubled brown eyes trained on her terrified round hazel gaze. "Don't make me hurt you."

His black hair swept around his asymmetrical features. Features that looked as though they could be handsome in another light.

She wouldn't betray her friends. She buried her memory of the map, buried her memories of the place he resided, buried the kind face of Master Luke. She built a fortress around her mind. She wouldn't let him have them. And she could see that he felt her defiance, could feel her conceal her memories deeper. She thought she saw something akin to sadness in his expression. 'He murdered his father.' she reminded herself. He murdered Han Solo in cold blood after an offer of escape. He turned away from the path that led out of the darkness.

He considered her for a long moment, pressing his mind against her own, but she didn't let him in.

She was going to die, she knew he would kill her as soon as he had what he came for.

"I'm no traitor." She spat at him. "If you want the information, you'll have to take it."

Rage, unbridled and ferocious, roared through him and lashed out at her. It hurt her terribly. He tore his eyes from her and breathed deep erratic huffs of air as he stepped away and paced mindlessly before her. He threw his mask away from him. She could feel him battling with himself but soon his rage was gone, replaced with bitter resolve. He ceased his pacing and rolled his shoulders. Kylo Ren closed his eyes and a look of repugnance stained his features.

Rey felt it then, the solution to his problem with her, his decision flashed white hot against her mind. She strained desperately now against the Force that held her defenseless before him. Kylo looked at her, his eyes ghosting over her body. He articulated his right hand in her direction and she felt herself being pushed away from him, felt her back collide with the bark of a large trunk. Blood drained from her face and she resisted the pull on her arms, but it did nothing to slow their ascent to be pinned above her head. Her heart bounded erratically in her chest and her eyes began to sting with unshed tears.

His eyes became impossibly dark, predatory, as he stalked back to her. He reached for her face and she tried to flinch away, tried to turn her head, but it was impossible. His gloved fingers trembled as they traced the shell of her ear and slid slowly down her jaw. His took her chin between his thumb and pointer finger and made her look up at him. He paused as their eyes met again and swept away the tears that had spilled over her cheeks. His lips parted and a puff of hot air escaped his lungs and swept down across her face.

"Last chance," he whispered the warning. He pressed against her and rested his head against her tangled brown hair, his lips centimeters from her ear. He spoke slowly and demonstrably. "Show me the map now; or I will tear everything from you, here, against this tree."

His words knocked the wind from her lungs. All she could hear was the rushing of blood in her ears. Her sight was beginning to blur around the edges, everything was hazy, trees and sky and ground became one. 

"Never." she choked feebly.

She felt rather than heard his sigh of disappointment. He shifted against her. One gloved hand slid upward along her side and pulled gently at the fabric of her tunic. The cold air stung her exposed chest and she trembled as she attempted to breathe. He pressed his temple against her own and cupped her breast. She felt his mind graze against her own as he tested the weight of her in his leather-clad hand. He pressed himself against her and with his free hand he worked at the clasp of her belt. It came undone and fell muted into snow.

"Please, no." she pleaded meekly. Straining against the invisible Force that bound her.

He responded by pressing his hips against her own and abandoning her bare breast in favor of her hips. 'Show me where Skywalker is, and I'll let you go.' he promised silkily in her mind.

She couldn't, it went against every fiber of her being and he saw that to be true.

"That's a shame." He breathed, looking into her eyes as he eased her tan pants over her hips. "I would have preferred taking you under different circumstances."

Nausea swelled in her gut. She struggled against him with little success as she saw him remove his own belt and pull the fabric around his waist down around his hips. She closed her eyes and tried to remember someplace safe… somewhere she could disappear.

He pressed himself against her again and she could feel him hard against her belly.

She forgot how to breathe again. Her body was lifted further from the ground, her back scraping painfully against the coarse bark.

"You can't run from this. Go, retreat into your mind it won't matter, I'll still find you."

The pain of him as he thrust inside her tore a sob from her chest. His hand flew to her mouth and suffocated her scream. He was tearing her apart, thrusting inside her and slamming forcefully against her leaving her in excruciating pain. Blood began to weep into the snow below her. Instinctually she withdrew into her mind to detach herself from the physical agony.

'Scream all you like. It's just us now... no one is coming to save you.' His voice chased her into the depths of her consciousness. He tore after her, into her mind and grazed along her memories of Luke. She attempted to throw his mind off of her own but she didn't have the strength.

'Strength?' The thought sparked a fire in her. 'I'm stronger than this.'

'Helpless.' His voice contradicted. 'Helpless and at my mercy.'

'This isn't happening. You're not real.' She insisted.

She woke with a start. Panting shallowly and throwing her arms up poised to beat back an invisible assailant. Her surroundings were quickly coming back around her. No one was with her. 'It was a nightmare.' she told herself. Relief flooded into her adrenaline flushed blood. 'Only a nightmare.'

But nothing she told herself erased the sense of his body pressed against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [Aberration](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/art/Aberration-656773394) by [PangolinPirate](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)  
> [](http://s44.photobucket.com/user/pangolinpirate/media/Chapter%202_zps624slnab.jpg.html)


	3. Adamant

He walked out along the narrow service bridge. Clinging to the hope that if he gave his query the opportunity to slip by, that it would take it. 

"Ben!" the all too familiar bark of his father echoed around him. 

His heart sank as he turned slowly to face the smuggler. He forced himself to sound indifferent. "Han Solo, I've been waiting for this day for a long time." his voice rasped through the filter of his helmet.

Time seemed to slow as his father approached him. The older man walked out onto the bridge that crossed the thermal oscillator to meet him. His face was lined deeper and his hair was greyer than Kylo remembered it. Though, his eyes hadn't changed.

"Take off that mask…" Han gestured, "you don't need it." He stood only feet from him now.

Kylo swallowed painfully. "What do you think you'll see if I do?" he asked. 

Han Solo's face creased further and replied with certainty. "The face of my son."

Kylo stood silently for a moment, considering the request. Could he do what he must without his mask? He wasn’t sure he could...but his father deserved better. His hands reached up and released his helmet. It hissed as the filter raised up and detached; he pulled the mask from his face. 

He took a steadying breath as he looked into his father's eyes. "Your son," his throat tightened, "is gone." he finished quickly. His jaw clamped down hard and then he continued. "He was weak and foolish like his father… so I destroyed him."

Han stepped closer.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe. But it's not true." he said softly. "My son is alive." His words rang painfully through Kylo's mind. This was cruel.

"No. The Supreme Leader is wise." Kylo disagreed shakily. His brown eyes locked with the blue of his father's, burning the strength he saw in them into his mind.

"Snoke is using you for your power...when he gets what he wants, he'll crush you." His father said softly. He could feel the sincerity and honesty that twisted around the words. They looked into one another at length before Han Solo said sadly, "You know it's true."

Kylo shifted, and looked away from his father. This exchange had become too much for him. "It's too late."

"No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home." His father said without hesitation. His breath caught. "We miss you."

Kylo's eyes burned.

"I'm being torn apart…" He confessed, "I want to be free of this pain." His voice shook in despair, and again, he found he didn't have the strength to look at him. "I know what I have to do, but I don't think I have the strength to do it." His eyes stung and threatened to weep when he turned his gaze back to the man before him. "Will you help me?" He pleaded, sounding like a child.

"Yes, anything." Han agreed soothingly.

He released his helmet. The clang of it colliding with the bridge echoed through the cavernous space. 

With shaking fingers, he reached for the hilt of his lightsaber. It had never felt more like sin in his hands. He offered it toward his father and Han Solo joined his hands with his own. When their eyes met again, Kylo felt a strength fill him, his shaking stopped. He could feel his father's pull on the hilt and his blue eyes shone with a certainty that terrified the boy inside him, but gave strength to the man. Kylo's hand tightened over the ignition.

The hungry blade plunged effortlessly through his father. The horror of what he’d done made him tremble, he felt weak. Shocked. But he drove the blade further. The roar of Chewie and the girl sounded so very far away.

"Thank you." Kylo gasped.

His hand tightened again over the switch and the blade obediently withdrew into itself.

His father's hand extended and his fingers lay softly across his cheek. His eyes weren't filled with betrayal, but forgiveness as he stumbled and fell.

Kylo shot up from his bed, violently tearing away at the sheets that strangled him. His heart raced and his skin was drenched in sweat. He trembled and gasped for air as he collected himself and tried to rid himself of the image of his father's face and his phantom touch against his cheek.

He felt a tear run down the contours of his face as he swung his legs off the side of his bed and steadied himself. He wiped it away with the back of his hand and consulted the time. It was both indecently late and obscenely early. He couldn't stay in his quarters, sleep wouldn't find him again… he needed to vent his emotional distress by submerging himself in active training. The best option open to him was the training block. It would be a welcome distraction and no one would interrupt him while he restored his composure. He promptly dressed and left, walking briskly down the vacant corridor. He could sense the multitude of soundly sleeping officers and crewmen as he passed their quarters and barracks on his route to the lift, but none stirred.

The large training facility was located in the aft section of the hull. The drone of the engines were loudest there. Kylo stalked into the training facility’s deserted midst and entered a combat simulation block. With the touch of a few buttons he had set the skill level to it’s highest setting and set the rounds to live ammunition. The blasting barrels that littered the wall hummed to life and an automated voice began an echoing countdown. Five, Four, Three, Two… Kylo reached for and ignited his lightsaber… One. Bolts of red plasma began to rain down on him. He swung his lightsaber fiercely through the air deflecting the blasts that came too close. He moved around the block strategically, using the scorched columns and half-walls for cover as he made his way toward his goal; a series of targets that once hit would commence the shutdown of the program. It didn't take long to reach the first target, he aimed one of his deflected plasma bolts to it and a light along the back wall illuminated. ‘Two more.’ Kylo thought. 

He was enjoying his leisurely stroll through the training block, gracefully avoiding and deflecting the plasma. The next target was hit similarly to the first, with a lazy flick of the red saber. Though the last target proved to be trickier. It was positioned in such a way that it left him exposed to a multitude of blasters which rendered deflected blasts risky. He’d been stationary for too long, and the wall mounted blasters concentrated their fire at the half-wall he currently crouched behind. He felt the wall growing hot. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of the plasma blasts as they ripped through the air. It only took a moment before he could feel them clearly, the volleys were coming at predictable intervals. He centered his concentration to one blaster in particular and willed the plasma of it's next shot in the direction of the last target. It struck its mark, and instantly the blasters ceased their fire, going limp before retracting back into their holding brackets.

"Trouble sleeping?"

Kylo turned in the direction of the familiar voice. The carefully composed figure of General Hux looked back at him through the shielded glass that stretched along the wall of the training block. This made for the second time in just as many days that he hadn't felt the General's approach. He needed to pull himself together, he was slipping.

"How might I help you, General?" Kylo asked by way of a greeting as he made his way out of the training block.

"There’s been a development." The General offered, "I’ve received intelligence of an impending Resistance attack on this Starship."

"The girl has advanced more quickly under the instruction of Skywalker than I anticipated." Kylo said slowly. "She alerted the Resistance of her location."

"This pet project of yours had best be worth the trouble."

Kylo didn't appreciate the General's doubtful tone or his insinuation. "You underestimate the girl's threat, and by extension, her potential value to us in quelling the Resistance." Kylo admonished. 

"If she can not be controlled, even by you, she will become an intolerable nuisance." Hux threatened, advancing a step toward Kylo in his rage.

He stood his ground. "I assure you that the lapse of control in question did not occur while the scavenger was in my possession." He watched Hux's nostrils flare. "I have taken every precaution in regards to the girl, she did not contact the Resistance while aboard this vessel."

"You’d have me reprimand the troopers who collected her for you?" Hux asked, his tone sour.

"It was an unavoidable inconvenience." Kylo corrected. "She will not be able to communicate with Skywalker while she remains in close proximity to me. However, if you question your Stormtrooper’s ability to ward off a Resistance attack, I’d recommend a course alteration to avoid detection by the enemy."

His chide words made the General's anger bristle. "Unlike you, Ren, I value the lives of my men. I’ll not have them sacrificed needlessly.”

“Perhaps you would feel more comfortable if I took the girl elsewhere.” Kylo suggested.

Hux straightened his jacket. “I wished only to convey to you her inconvenience. I will bring my concerns before the Supreme Leader. He will decide what is to be done."

"A wise course of action." Kylo said flatly, he was growing tired of the sycophantic general. "If that is all General, I would like to continue."

Hux nodded curtly and left the facility in a rage.

Kylo spent the next hour sparring with an assassin droid. The droid was predictable and sparring with it felt more like light exercise than training, but it would have to do, there wasn't a living creature aboard that would pose a fair match for him one on one. He corrected himself, there was one creature here that had the potential to pose a match, however, sparring was out of the question at this time. He could see her clearly in his mind's eye however; she was standing across from him, dressed in black, and flourishing a staff. When she attacked him, and he her, it wasn't with hate or anger. Kylo felt a distantly remembered warmth begin to creep over him at the thought of her. ‘It's too early to think of that.’ he told himself tersely. ‘There’s a good chance you will be ordered to strike her down.’ But the image of her remained with him for the duration of his exercise.

...

As he approached her cell he could feel her agitation electrifying the air, and knew she hadn't slept well either. He rested his palm against the sensor and with a beep and hiss the door opened for him. She was sitting neatly on her mat and looking up at him with contempt. He ignored this and entered her cell with a droid bearing two trays following in his wake. It slid the food onto the small table. Kylo sat himself at one end of the table and shooed the droid away with a dismissive wave. The droid obeyed and left the cell, closing the door behind it as it went.

He removed his helmet and set it beside himself on the table. “I brought you breakfast.” He said. When she made no move to rise from her mat, he added. “Sit and eat.”

She eyed the second tray momentarily. “I’m not hungry.” She lied, turning away predictably.

“Well, I am.” He said, shrugging her off in indifference as he cut into an omelette and took a bite. 

Halfway through his omelette he heard the quiet grumble of her stomach.

“Poisoning you would be counterproductive.” He said, catching her eye when she glanced back at him. He knew she was starving. To prove the second tray was safe, he pulled it toward himself, stabbed a sample of the omelette and grain meal with his fork, slid the fare into his mouth and swallowed. He slid the tray back across the table toward her and continued on with his own meal.

He knew she was considering the food, so he looked away from her. As he took a bite of his own grain mush he heard her slide from her mat and come toward him. He didn’t acknowledge her as she sat tensely at the opposite end of the table, but remained quiet while he ate, waiting for her to give into her hunger. It didn’t take long… she picked up her own fork and began to pick at her food. She only touched the omelette, and when she was done she set the fork down and stared at him.

He set his fork down as well and met her eyes.

“Where are you taking me?” She demanded.

“I’m not at liberty to say.” He replied, getting to his feet. 

“What are you going to do with me?” She asked.

“I suppose that will depend on you.” He said, walking back toward her cell door. He pressed his palm into the sensor and the door slid open revealing the dim glow of the corridor beyond.

He exited the cell and looked back at her. "Walk with me." 

It wasn't a request.

She rose cautiously from her bench and walked hesitantly toward the door, her eyes fixed on him. She stopped next to him just inside the cell and looked at him questioningly. 

"If you prefer your cell," He said, "we can talk here."

She walked passed him and began cautiously down the detention corridor.

"You can run, but you won't get far." The warning was lighthearted, but a warning all the same. He didn’t miss her glance at his hip where his lightsaber hung dormant.

"I won't." 

He fell into step with her, and could sense she was mulling something over in her mind. He didn’t have to wait long before she broke the silence. 

"Nice scar." She quipped, folding her arms.

“I’ve come to admire it also.” He said cooly. “I won’t underestimate you again.” He'd anticipated the comment and was keen to steer the conversation away from their previous encounter; so he changed the subject. "You won't be surprised to hear that the Resistance is mounting a foolhardy rescue." He prompted. He felt a jolt of anxiety fly from her.

"No, I'm not surprised." She said venomously, "Your operative must have wormed their way high into Resistance command to get ahold of my location."

"They have." Kylo confirmed disinterestedly.

"Did this information come from the same traitorous slime that turned me over to you?" Rey sneered.

"Yes, in fact.” he said, looking down at her. “Jeshi did well in bringing you to us, and has proved his value once again."

He felt her revulsion building, understanding dawning on her and a sting of betrayal.

"You're lying. My crew..." Rey started, horrified. "They were thrown from the airlock. Your Stormtroopers killed them all."

"No strategist would sacrifice a proven spy, " Kylo said coldly, "he escaped with the others in an escape pod."

Rey exhaled with mingled revulsion and relief. "The Resistance knows there was a spy aboard my ship. They'll find him."

"That remains to be seen." Kylo said, matter-of-factly. "They will have to expend a great deal of resources to check all of the remaining crew's stories."

"I'll tell them." Rey promised, clenching her fist.

“You will find it impossible to pass along sensitive information regarding your location or any other details to Skywalker."

He felt her anger and hatred through the Force. ‘She was made to wield the Dark Side.’ He thought, considering her.

"And how do you plan on stopping me?" she asked indignantly. 

Her bluff combined with her defiance made him huff in amusement. "I have already prevented you from communicating with him... You must learn to channel your excessive hatred for me into something more productive."

"I shouldn't be channeling anything." Rey replied angrily.

"You listened well to your former master, but Luke Skywalker is a fool and a coward," He asserted darkly, "Your abilities were wasted on him. With my guidance you could be so much more."

"Master Skywalker is no coward!" and now she spun around to face him, chest heaving. "and you're the fool; if you believe you can turn me to the Dark Side."

With one step Kylo closed the distance between them.

"You know nothing of the Dark Side… but you will."

Fear bled into her. He could feel a new discomfort grow in her mind and he didn't care for the bitter taste of in on his senses. “I'm ready to return to my cell." She looked up at him as though daring him to tell her 'No'.

He dove into her exhausted consciousness and plucked curiously at the thought that seeded her anxiety. He tore at it and brought it into focus. He didn’t have long to examine it before she snatched it back and recoiled. But it had been enough, what he’d seen left him revolted.

“I’ve told you. You’re not welcome there.” She spat. 

"Rey-”

“Don’t call me that!” Her anger rose and licked across his flesh.

He couldn’t expect her to be seduced by the Dark Side if he allowed her to remain frightened of him. “You may believe me to be a monster. Perhaps I am… but I won’t touch you."

Her fury and fear began to ebb away to be replaced by a swell of distrust. He realized just how much confidence he would have to build between them and decided the seeds of trust should be sown now.

"I will escort you back to your cell, if that is what you desire."

He stepped away and waited for her reply.

She gave a curt nod, without meeting his eyes, and made her way back down the corridor.

...

A month’s passage saw that they’d established a routine. Every morning at 0600 he arrived with a meal and made a non-request for her company. They walked the detention level corridors going further each day before turning around and returning to her cell. At 1200 hours he would press his mind against her own but did not delve deep, only shared an emotional connection. He’d started off with contact lasting only a moment, but had gradually increased the time to an hour; only to repeat a meal and stroll at 1700. To fill her interim time, he'd given her a datachron filled with Star Maps, Histories of the Old Republic, The Rise and Fall of the Empire, and the writings of Darth Bane and other collections from the Sith. Rey would sometimes ask questions of clarification about the histories and star charts, but never about the Sith; he suspected she refused to read them. Her hatred for him had slowly been replaced with dislike bordering on indifference. 

It was encouraging but he was careful not to push her too far.

Despite this, he knew the stagnation of her cell was suffocating her. She needed to flex and grow her abilities...not rot in isolation and be taken for walks and petted like some childhood pet. She needed a challenge and he knew that if he didn’t provide a challenge soon, she would inevitably challenge herself with an escape. 

She was waiting for him, alert and electrified with unused energy when he opened her cell. She got to her feet and made for the door as she usually did, but as she neared him he held out his hand. In it, lay the black vented hilt of his own lightsaber.

“Take it.” He thrust the hilt toward her.

She hesitated. She didn't want it, he knew. He could feel her remembering what the blade had done. Confusion spilled over her and she looked at him with disbelieving eyes. 

"Take it, now." He demanded, forcing the blade into her hand. He stepped past her and went to kneel composedly on the floor.

She turned to watch him, puzzled and unsettled, holding the hilt as if it was something that recently died. 

“Go.” He ordered, gesturing to the open door and reaching for his grandfather's lightsaber.

The blood left her face and she took an instinctive step back.

He rolled his shoulders and unclipped the hilt from his belt. She made another back step, uncertainty swelling in her chest. “What-”

“Run.” he commanded, igniting the blue blade. 

She didn’t wait to be told a third time, she bolted.

He contained the urge to sprint after her as she fled. ‘Give her a head start.’ He told himself. He knew it was impossible for her to escape, which removed some of the sport, but he would make due. 

When he heard her bare footsteps fade into the distance he leapt from his corner and stalked through the cell door in time to see her whip around a corner and disappear. He sprinted after her, enjoying some long absent adrenaline. He felt alive.

Kylo could see her clearly in the Force and made to intercept her at the next corridor’s juncture. He could feel her mind buzzing as she looked for an escape. 

He ambushed her easily. He slashed at her warningly with his saber, this was meant to be a lesson… not a duel, and she hadn't ignited his own blade. 

"You'll find it works the same." He said, pressing his advantage and forcing her back down the corridor from which she'd appeared. 

She was impossibly pale as she fumbled at the black hilt.

Excitement ricocheted through him as the familiar thrum of his synthetic blade crackled to life.

He began his assault, mindful of her limited skill. She parried his blows, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

"It's heavier than you expected." He said, knowingly.

The blue blade cut through the air with ease, was powerful but balanced when activated. His own creation was unstable, unpredictable where and when it might want to leap.

She didn't answer him, but swung the blade forcibly up to meet the saber coming down to bite her.

“Good.” He encouraged. “Now faster.” He twisted his lightsaber in his hand before sending it arcing upward, destined for her shoulder. She parried the blow, but only just. He snapped the saber upward again and sent it cracking down against the inferior blade. The lightsabers zapped and hissed as they worked against each other sending sparks flying. The blow threw her off balance…. but she recovered quickly and danced away from his blade as he pulled it away and slashed out at her again. Rey swung the red saber at him but it resisted the air making it difficult to wield, he caught it against his grandfather's saber and shoved her back hard with the Force, making her fall.

“Again!” He yelled, advancing with his blade raised, poised to attack. She clambered back to her feet just before his saber came down on her. He stabbed and drove the pale blade at her without giving her the chance to regain her footing. The sizzle and crack of the blades kissing filled the corridor. Her concentration on keeping all of her limbs safe from both lightsabers left her mind vulnerable. He exploited the gap in her mental armor and swept into her mind. ‘You’ve let your guard down.’ he told her, as he observed a memory of little importance. She very nearly missed blocking the blow he dealt to her shoulder. She defended herself from a heavy downward stroke but her arms buckled beneath the force of the blow and the weight of the red blade wanted to give way to the more perfect lightsaber. He knocked the blade from her hand and using the Force brought her to her knees, his blade coming to hum menacingly at her throat as he pulled the deactivated blade hilt back to him. 

‘You’re dead.’ he told her simply, retracting his blade and his mind from her own. He offered his hand to her to help her back on her feet, but she found them on her own. “You’ll get further tomorrow.” he promised her as he tucked the blades into his belt.

~)o(~

“No.” She said, backing away from him. “I won’t.”

She had grown tired of their meaningless week long game of cat and mouse... tired of running with no true hope for escape, of being headed off, knocked to her knees after barely avoiding being sliced into pieces, and being told she would get further the next day. Tired of him. 

Kylo's irritation showed despite himself. “Tomorrow. You’ll run,” He said, advancing on her and reclipping the black hilt to his belt. “and you will defend yourself.” He loomed over her now. "And you will get further."

She stood her ground this time, but remained silent.

His eyes became steely at her defiance. “I can challenge you physically,” he said, “or mentally; but you will defend yourself or be destroyed.” She knew he told the truth, could feel the honesty ring with every word as he pressed his mind angrily against her own. 'The Supreme Leader grows impatient.' 

Rey faltered in her resolve. Master Skywalker told her to keep herself valuable, at any cost, save her betrayal of the Light.

'Get out of my head.' She told him, her own anger rising to the surface.

“Do not test me in this.” Kylo urged. “I will not hesitate.”

She held her tongue a moment longer not wanting to provoke him further in her frustration. “I’ll run.” She conceded, seeing no other course available to her. “I’ll defend myself.”

She felt his relief and saw the strain and tension in his shoulders relax. She turned and began back to her cell... she didn't want to look at him any longer.

“You'll listen also.” He added, following her back down the corridor. “If you won’t read the Sith writings then I will dictate them to you as we walk each evening.”

“Master Skywalker told me about the Sith.” Rey bit out, still fuming.

“He told you of the Jedi’s impression of the Sith. Their flawed and fearful interpretation of the Dark Side.” He said, following. “You will find the Jedi view… oversimplified.”

She doubted this, but decided not to argue the point further… that wasn’t the Jedi way. She spent the entirety of the walk back in silence, pushing the anger and frustration she felt aside.

When she’d returned to the cell and stepped past him into the small room he followed her inside. The additional intrusion was a step past her tolerance.

“Does Supreme Leader Snoke also grow impatient with my solitude?” She asked brimming with annoyance. “Should I expect you to now sleep in my cell?”

“Would you like me to?” He asked, considering her. 

His reply disarmed her completely. She felt what she could only describe as a softness slipping past his composure. He kept his eyes trained on her own and the intensity of his gaze made her heart flutter uncomfortably. 

“No.” She said firmly, recovering herself. “I’d appreciate a fair distance between us as I sleep, thank you.”

“Don’t worry then, I won’t.” He said, looking away and seating himself at the table. “I’ll stay for a while longer to meditate. I won’t force you to join me, but you are welcome to join me.”

Rey was still dealing with the unappreciated way her body had reacted under his gaze. She attempted to bury the sensation. ‘It’s not appropriate.’ She told herself, disgusted.

...

Rey sat exhausted on her bed practicing her own meditation when she was struck with a deep sense of alarm that wasn't her own. The sensation resonated all around her.

She stood when she felt everything on the ship begin to buzz to life. Something was amiss. The desire to understand what was happening made her, for the first time, reach out to Kylo in the Force. She focused her concentration and felt for him among the din. He was incandescent with rage, and she sensed his mind center on her own. A wave of frustration ran through him and into her. He was coming to collect her. 

Uncertainty about where she fit into this sudden buzz of activity was bubbling into worry. Minutes passed while she paced her cell, waiting. When she felt him nearing she brushed against his mind again curiously. He didn’t answer her. There was the shrill beep from the door and it flew open. Excitement to see him quickly disappeared when she was confronted with his masked face. She spotted not only his red lightsaber at his hip, but the blue one as well.

"Come with me. Now." He barked at her. 

"Where are we going?" She asked tentatively, not sure she wanted to follow him.

“An impertinent question, get out here and move!” he said, his temper flaring.

Her eyes were alive with fire but she sensed no ill will from him so she obliged him buy stepping out of her cell. 

"Give me your wrists." He ordered. He held out a pair of restraints much like the ones she had been delivered in.

"Is that necessary?" She asked angrily.

"Now." He sounded more dangerous than normal. She held her wrists up to him and he snapped the cuffs around them, then moved along the detention corridor.

"This way." he demanded, moving quickly and practically dragging her. She had to jog to keep pace with his long strides. His anger flowed off him in copious quantities. She tried to remain calm in the wake of his rage, but it was difficult. When they reached the lift she noticed he directed it to the main hangar deck.

His anger began to ease into collected concentration as the lift began to rise. "Where are you taking me?" She asked. 

He lowered his masked gaze to her. "Your friends have found us." He offered.

"Wouldn't I be more secure if I was kept in the detention block?" Rey asked, moderately amused by his answer.

He didn't answer her sarcastic remark.

They stood in silence until the lift halted and the doors slid open to reveal the buzzing hangar. 

TIE Starfighters lined the walls and Stormtroopers swarmed in formation to their designated posts. It was organized chaos and the roar of engines and blare of flashing alarms were disorienting. She felt the Star Destroyer rock accompanied by the deep percussion of explosives. The ship was under enemy fire. Kylo grabbed her by the elbow and tugged her along beside him. He aimed her toward a line of upsilon-class command shuttles and made for the black one at the end. Rey looked around wildly as she was lead on by Kylo, there was a full-blown attack raging just outside. When they came even with the last shuttle, Kylo released the ramp hatch and the loading bridge descended gracefully to meet the hangar floor.

"We’re leaving in this?" Rey asked, bemused. "You can't possibly out maneuver an X-wing in this, even I'm not that good."

"She'll fool you." He said simply as he pulled her inside and retracted the loading ramp. When the ramp hissed, sealing them inside he released her. Rey stood disbelievingly in the center of the luxurious main cabin, and the only thing that crossed her mind was that command shuttles weren’t designed for this sort of brazen escape attempt. ‘Is he worried the Resistance might win?’ she thought. ‘Or is it something else? Is he taking me to Snoke?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [Adamant](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/art/Adamant-657360783) by [PangolinPirate](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)  
> [](http://s44.photobucket.com/user/pangolinpirate/media/Chapter3_zpsbqxrjfuz.jpg.html)


	4. Aquaintance

"I'd feel safer in my cell; I'm not prepared to be blown up due to your serious lack of judgement." Rey called after him as he disappeared into the cockpit.

“Sit down and be quiet.” was his terse reply.

The shuttle hummed to life and Rey could make out Kylo communicating with the command tower. She looked around the interior, searching for a harness, but the only things she found in the lounge were a large cushioned sofa and a few overstuffed chairs opposite it. A corridor stretched back with a couple doors along it which she assumed were private quarters. The shuttle was beginning to hum louder. Rey decided that if she was going to be stuck here she would rather be belted in than loose in the cabin. She walked into the cockpit and sat down in the co-pilot chair, clicking the harness in place and tightening it to fit. The task was awkward with her hands bound together but she managed. She could feel his eyes on her as he finished his communication with the tower.

"Don't touch anything." He warned, continuing to flip switches, press buttons, adjust levers, and checked the craft's readout.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Rey said pointedly, suspecting he wasn't used to piloting.

The shuttle's engine grew steadily from a hum to a roar and the craft rose from it's dock. Rey felt the landing gear fold up and away in the hull. Kylo flipped a switch to his left and maneuvered the shuttle to the open hangar bay then requested clearance.

"You're clear, Sir." the command tower replied through the dash speaker.

Kylo eased the yoke forward and they were away. The wings that usually rested in a 'v' extended out, and Rey caught a glimpse of two TIE Starfighters circle and fall in defensively behind them. As they passed through the environmental forcefield they were consumed in a full assault on the Finalizer. Rey saw Resistance fighters swarming and weaving through enemy return fire from the turbo blasters and ion cannons mounted around the Resurgent-Class Star Destroyer. It took fewer than two minutes for the shuttle to attract the Resistance Starfighters fire. Two X-wings had broken away from a bombing run and maneuvered strategically to the aft of the shuttle and began to fire. 

Kylo competently guided the shuttle in an intricate maneuver that made it very difficult to hit and left Rey slightly dizzy. One of the TIE fighters broke from formation, catapulted around the X-wing and began to fire on it. It hit it's mark and the fighter exploded, sending shrapnel flying. Rey felt the impact of the shrapnel, and a life extinguish… a knot formed in her gut. She might have known that pilot, whoever they were. She fell into the Force and tried to push the remaining pursuant x-wing pilot away. ‘Go. Rejoin the fleet.’ She willed as strongly as she could manage. She felt the Force flex around her and when she looked into the radar she saw that the second X-wing broke off its pursuit. She breathed a sigh of relief. 

Her relief was short lived, as she saw the TIE fighters break their guard in pursuit. 

“Please! Tell them to let him go!” Rey pleaded of Kylo. 

He was quiet and she thought he might choose to ignore her request completely. Before...

“Let him go, he’s no threat to us.” 

She was surprised, grateful but confused. 

A reply crackled over the comm. “Yes, sir.”

The two escorting TIE fighters returned to the shuttle.

Her heart lifted and she looked over to Kylo in disbelief. 

He didn’t turn to acknowledge her. 

They were far enough away from the Finalizer now that it appeared tiny to Rey.

"That's enough, I'll be fine from here, return to the Finalizer." Kylo instructed.

"Yes, Sir." came the reply over the speaker. Kylo became busy flipping switches and hitting buttons again.

"Why did you let him go?" Rey asked, unable to contain herself, she couldn't read him.

He didn't look up from his work. "Because you asked me to."

“But why? Why do you care?”

“You could just thank me.” He said, glancing at her before returning to his switches.

“...thank you.” 

She felt his abrasiveness falter, soften; but she knew that was the end of their discussion concerning the x-wing.

"Are we meeting another ship, or are we going to drift here until the fight is over?"

"Neither," Kylo said, "I'm taking you to Dathomir."

Rey couldn't contain her bark of nervous laughter. "What, in this?" She gestured around.

Kylo removed his helmet and threw it into the communication's seat before working on the console again.

"R9, calculate our route."

‘R9?’ She wondered, bemused.

Rey turned in her seat and found a white and yellow droid which she’d overlooked. It beeped dutifully and spun a communication dial in the wall. She looked back at Kylo, he’d been watching her and there was that look again. In his eyes. The R9 astromech chirped again, drawing her out of her sudden feeling of weightlessness. Kylo pressed a button and the cry of a hyperdrive filled her ears before she saw the stars around them blur into nothing but streaks of light.

"But command shuttles don't have hyperdrive compatibility." Rey said, astonished.

He replied with a smug but dismissive, "This one does."

Rey sat back in the co-pilot chair and looked out the cockpit shield of transparisteel. "Unorthodox, but impressive." she admitted. “How did you overcome the problem with hull stress?” 

“Perhaps I’ll show you when we arrive.” He said, uncommitted. 

An odd sense of freedom fell over her even though her wrists were bound and she remained Kylo's prisoner. Perhaps this was her chance to escape, instead of an army, there was only Kylo Ren to be dealt with. She glanced at his belt, both lightsabers still hung there. Rey wasn't sure how she was going to liberate one from him, but she was sure that it doing so would be the key for a successful escape. She gave herself a mental shake. If she got too excited or began focussing on an escape he would sense it. She decided to keep him in conversation. "Why Dathomir?"

"It’s far away from Resistance sympathizers." He said. Rey could tell that was only one on many reasons but felt that it was no good trying to get the full answer. She would have to be content with the pseudo-offer to take a closer look at the ship upon their arrival. "The ship is on autopilot, I don't expect to reach the outer territories for another fifteen hours." Kylo looked over at her and unfastened his harness. "Here," He said, reaching for her. "I'll remove those if you promise not to be trouble."

Rey offered her linked arms to him. "I promise." She said, burying her thoughts of escape.

Kylo took her wrists and began to release her right hand. "You won't be able to fly this shuttle; so don't try."

Rey looked up at him with mock indignation. "You think I'd redirect us while you slept?" The thought had crossed her mind.

"No. I think you'd break my ship and we would be adrift on emergency life-support... any alteration in course requires a security code." He was working on her left wrist now, and she watched him patiently. He looked different. She had looked at him before, of course, but she was beginning to see something in him that had either been absent or had always been there and she only now could read him more clearly. 

This new facet of him made her feel overcome with an urge to goad him.

"We'll see." she said, finally catching his eyes, and he paused.

"If you would prefer being cuffed to the cabin wall, that can be arranged." He threatened. She could feel an emotional nuance she had never felt from him. It felt warm. She was wondering if his eyes were always that dark; she couldn't remember.

"No, this is fine." she said, "I won't be trouble."

Kylo nodded simply and released her un-cuffed wrists. He turned his attention to a display on the dash, it was tilted toward him and Rey couldn't see it properly. He pinched his brow and she felt a ripple of annoyance from him.

"Is there a problem?" She asked lightly, craning her neck to see the display that held his attention.

"The shrapnel damaged the subspace antenna and hyperwave scanner."

"Well, that isn't too awful." She wondered why that would be a problem.

"It complicates things." He ran his hand through his hair and got up from the pilot's seat, and Rey was left to ponder the possible complications.

Rey watched him walk out of the cockpit and disappear into a room off the hallway. 

When he was gone she turned to the R9 unit. "Do you know the security code?" She asked the droid hopefully. The astromech spun it's head around to look at her, made an indignant low series of beeps, and turned its domed optical fixture back to its dial. "No, I'm not authorized." she agreed bitterly. Rey unclipped her harness and left for the lounge area. She decided that when he came out of that room she would grab that lightsaber from him and force him to redirect the shuttle to D'qar.

Rey played the scenario out again and again in her mind. She would force him to bend to her will, she knew she could do it if she had adequate conviction. If she couldn't force him to enter the security code, she would cuff him to something and force the numbers from his mind. She thought she could do that. 

Kylo had been in that room for what felt like hours and Rey took to laying on the sofa, looking at the collection of holodisks that lined the built-in shelf.

She was surprised when she looked away from the collection to find him leaning in the hallway watching her.

"I didn’t hear you come out." She said.

"It's late, you should sleep." He answered casually.

"I'm not tired."

"I am." He said. 

She realized that the suggestion for rest was a non-suggestion, just like their walks.

"Where should I sleep?" She asked a little uncomfortable as she sat up and tucked a loose hair behind her ear. She kept her hazel eyes trained on him and he looked back at her curiously.

"Sleeping quarters are portside." He answered slowly. Rey knew he suspected something, could feel him tense through the Force. "I'll even let you have the bed." He offered kindly.

"Where are you going to sleep?" She questioned suspiciously.

He huffed in amusement. "Not in the bed, if that's what worries you."

There was the sensation again. He felt warm, relaxed. It made her feel easier than she knew she should.

"Are you worried I'd tempt you?" She asked, hoping to bring back some of his usual bite. Instead, she could feel that warmth grow, it caressed her senses. She wasn't sure what the emotion was, but she liked it, it emboldened her.

"No, I don't think so," He said darkly. "but, I might tempt you."

It sent a thrill down her spine but she scoffed and stood from the sofa. She walked towards him, he didn't move out of her way. Rey was as close as she could get, it was now or never. She looked him in the eyes but her gaze drifted along the slope of his nose and rested on his mouth. She felt a pleasant tightening sensation in her chest. Her mind was swimming. What was she doing?

"Is there something else?" He asked her curiously, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Yes there was, she needed to get her lightsaber back, she remembered with a pang, and without thinking her hand dove to his belt and grasped, onto nothing. There was nothing. Panic flooded her veins. His hand wrapped loosely around her wrist and moved her hand away. The corners of his mouth turned up in restrained amusement and he blinked slowly down at her.

"I'm not an idiot, I saw you looking." He said. Anger didn’t tint his words. He sounded amused and Rey could feel the warm emotion radiate off him strongly, only now it was hot. "And now what will you do, Rey?" He asked, as he released his hold on her and took a half step nearer.

She couldn't look away from him, his brown eyes held her hostage. She didn’t care that he had called her Rey… the tightness in her chest grew and her breath became shallow and uneasy. Her body was singing. Aflame. She didn't know what was coming over her. 

She felt strong, stronger than she had in weeks. In months! Every muscle tensed and relaxed.

She saw his lips and was struck with a desire to taste them. She stood on her toes, and pressed her lips firmly against his. The feeling was intoxicating and she lost all sense of caution. Her hands flew to his black hair and her fingers tangled themselves in it.

He caught fire. Rey could feel his restrained energy begin to work it’s way from him.

He returned her kiss with a voraciousness she'd never experienced. His hands grabbed her firmly by the waist and after a moment, pushed her back and away from him. Rey's heart was thundering and she trembled. She had never felt this way before… and this was Kylo Ren. The man was a monster, she shouldn’t want him this way… shouldn’t feel this way. She should be scared of him, he was dangerous. But somehow she didn't care. His eyes were searching her, she felt his mind overwhelm her own and she welcomed it.

‘Do you understand what’s happening?’ he asked beneath fracturing composure.

Rey could feel a storm building in him and it was breathtaking. She couldn't answer in words, she had gone temporarily blank; but she let her emotions flow into him across the bridge that linked their minds.

He released a slow breath of unspoken promise and advanced on her. He wasn't gentle. He pressed her against the cold wall and breathed her in, tasting her neck and pulling her closer. She clutched at his shoulders and felt the coarse dark fabric scrape beneath her sensitive fingers. He pulled her away from the wall and walked her backwards into the lounge. Her knees hit the sofa and she fell onto it. Kylo followed suit, and pulled her roughly toward him again. 

He told her. ‘You’ve denied it for too long.’ 

She didn't care what he was saying, but she was transfixed by the way his lips moved and his eye's seemed to devour her. She straddled his hips and his hands came up to cradle her head. She noticed distantly that his palms were calloused when he pulled her down to drown in him again. Her hands ran over his shoulders and wrapped around his neck. This was wonderful, she was losing her ability to discern whose limbs belonged to who... it felt as though she was inside his head and her own at the same time. The swell of power inside her was difficult to contain, it was slipping through her but it was one of the best sensations she had ever experienced.

‘Focus.’ He said. ‘Don’t let it consume you.’

Rey tore her lips from his for air. His hands were still cradled against her temples. She rested her forehead against his while she caught her breath.

"This is wrong." She whispered, more to herself than him.

“I want to help you, but you have to let me in.”

The heady sensations swirling around her mind were blinding. All she could see was him. She whimpered against his neck. The tide of emotion inside her was overwhelming, but the feel of him was steady, an anchor.

“Please.” She breathed.

She felt him lose his composure entirely. His hands took hold of her waist and dragged her down roughly against his hips.

‘Breathe.’ He instructed, taking her bottom lip between his teeth.

The pain made her gasp, and in her lapse of clarity she felt his mind sink into her own.

He presence quieted the roar of desire inside her mind, but the desire still remained.

‘This is wrong.’ the most delicate of whispers objected again.

His hands, which had found their way beneath her tunic stilled.

‘We can stop.’ The thought floated into her mind, but it wasn't her own.

Despite the weak warning of her own mind, she wanted this.

"No, I want this." she exhaled in frustration, pressing her lips against his ear.

Without a moment's hesitation his hands came alive again.

Rey began to kiss along his jaw and she felt his scar pass beneath her lips, she followed it to his throat. He had released her chest bindings and a pleased groan left him as his hands slipped down to her hips. Rey liked the sound, she wanted to hear it again. She angled her hips and rolled them forward. An appreciative sigh met her ears and his grip tightened almost painfully. She felt powerful. Her fingers explored his belt, nimbly unfastened it and tossing it aside. His hands had found their way beneath her tunic again. She stopped her kissing and sat straight, watching him. He pulled the bindings away and threw them to the floor.

His hands trailed up her sides and he encouraged her to raise her arms. She complied and Kylo gripped the hem of her tunic and pulled it over her head before releasing it at his feet. His eyes drank the sight of her in. Lingering on her pale breasts before gliding down across her flat stomach and up again to her chest. She felt a cocktail of desire and gratification spill from him, but she was quickly becoming self conscious under his hungry gaze. She lifted her arms to cover herself from his stare, but he stopped her, cupping her breasts in his hands. She could see his pupils dilate. He pushed her off his lap and back against the sofa before he began peeling his own clothing from himself. When he removed the wrapped sleeves and undershirt and tossed them carelessly on the floor he turned back to her. Rey was taken aback at the amount of scars that mottled his chest and arms and she stared openly at them. Kylo didn't give her long to look. He pressed himself against her, pinning her to the sofa, and his right hand slid between them. Rey's hands felt along his spine and smoothed over his back. Her palms and fingertips were greeted by more roped scars. She wondered how he got them but was quickly distracted by his hand slowly tracing over her chest and down her tight core, before ghosting beneath the waist of her pants. At his touch she became painfully aware of the aching heat building in her. She wanted him to touch her where only she had touched herself before, she arched into his hand encouragingly. Kylo liked it. His kiss became fevered. He felt further, and after a short search he found her wet. He traced along her slick flesh gathering the evidence of her want for him before pressing his thumb against her clitoris. He stroked it and elicited a cry of pleasure that Rey was alarmed to hear from herself. The ache between her thighs eased momentarily but then grew. She felt his smile against her lips, but immediately lost herself in him again as he continued to slide his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves. He broke their kiss and captured her hazy gaze.

He drew his hand away from her rather suddenly. Rey couldn't help her frustration at it's absence. He raised himself off of her and hooked his fingers around the waistband of her pants. He dragged them from her in one fluid motion. She was completely naked now and her cheeks flushed. He gave her an appraising glance and then focused on removing his remaining clothes. Rey sat up and watched as he removed his boots which thudded to the floor, and his hands as they pulled the black combat pants and underclothes off. They lay forgotten on the heap of clothing that had grown on the floor.

He pulled her back over him and claimed her mouth with his own. He crushed her against his chest. Rey could feel him hard against her abdomen and it conjured a new wave of want to course through her. She ran her fingers into his hair and held him against her. Enjoying the new feeling of flesh against flesh. He thrust his hips against hers and they both moaned. It was blissful agony and she wanted more. His arms wrapped around her sides and his hands found her thighs. He squeezed and lifted her up. They broke their kiss and she glanced down between their bodies. She guessed he was larger than average, but not huge. She was glad he wasn't either extreme. A bead of precum had seeped from the tip. She watched as he took himself in one hand and stroked languorously. His thumb ran over the tip and rubbed the moisture over the sensitive gland. She averted her gaze. Heat rising to her cheeks again. He'd been watching her reaction... and she felt his wave of lust crash against her.

Rey wet her lips and sighed in anticipation. She felt his consciousness so clearly against her own that they were vibrating together. This wasn't his first time, she knew... was distantly aware of past encounters, but it had been a long time. Kylo's mind pushed her away from those memories and pulled her attention back to the moment. She could feel his thirst for her. He shifted beneath her, pushed her back and she felt the head of his cock press against her clitoris. He slid it down between her soaking lips and back a few times. The sensation sent sparks up and down her spine and her legs began to shake. She wanted him inside, now. He must have read her need inside her mind because his hips immediately came up to meet hers and he sheathed himself deep inside her. 

She gasped at the new sensation and Kylo hissed in satisfaction. It was nothing like her nightmare. He stretched and filled her completely. His hands flew to her hips and ground them down against his own while busying himself with attacking her throat with his lips. She whimpered in delight and braced herself with her hands on his chest. She rocked her hips against his in a frenzy. She’d never felt so alive.

She felt Kylo sigh in frustration. He quickly rolled her onto her back... keeping an arm tightly around her leg and raising her knee. He thrust deeper. Sending her nerves into a chorus of pleasure. She arched against him and rolled her hips up to meet his thrusts and her movements became desperate. 

Kylo reached for her neck and cupped his large hand over it. His hold was firm and she experienced a thrill of arousal. He was pumping into her fast and hard, and the tension and heat coiling in her was nearing its breaking point. He was unrelenting, he drove into her with disturbing force. 

The dwindling sensible portion of Rey's mind thought this should hurt but it felt unbelievably good. Kylo's other hand had found itself nestled between them and his thumb found her clitorus again. It stroked her infuriatingly slow, incensing her. She could feel her ache building into something much more. She was getting dangerously close to the precipice, she would fall at any moment. Kylo could tell. He was in her mind and she was in his too. He was close too she knew, but he was going to make her lose herself first. He looked into her eyes, silently commanding her to let go.

She wasn't ready. Not yet, she wanted to stay here for a while longer. His mind raced across her own and bit into her. 'You will cum for me.' He told her. 'You'll do it now.'

One thrust, two thrusts, three. 

"Oh gods." She breathed, unable to stop herself. She was gone hurtling from reality as she convulsed and contracted around him hard, and cried out in her ecstasy.

He didn't give her a moment to recover. He altered the tilt of his hips and tightened his grip on her throat. His pace stayed the same. Rey was lost in the fog that was left by her orgasm, but she felt his thrusts becoming erratic and stiff. She couldn't breathe. His face contorted into a grimace of severe concentration.

'Yes.' Rey thought encouragingly.

That had done it, he lost all control. His hips jerked forward twice more than stilled, buried completely and firmly inside her. His eyes slammed shut and a strained but satisfied growl rumbled in his chest. He released her throat and together they caught their breath. 

He collected his wits quickly, pulled out of her and sat up. Rey remained where she was, not sure how she felt about what happened. Now that the haze of her orgasm was lifting her sense was flooding back to her. She wasn't ashamed or sorry, but her emotions were conflicted because she wasn't either of those things. She swallowed and slowly raised herself up and sat beside him in silence. She couldn't feel his emotions nearly as well as she had moments ago. 

Kylo grabbed her tunic from the floor and wiped himself off with it. Rey was too confused about her feelings to protest. She knew he was thinking hard on what had just happened. They sat in silence for a time longer, she felt outward for an inking of his feelings and watched him looking down at his hands in thought. She felt a resolve in him and wasn't surprised when he turned to her and spoke.

"There's a refresher through the sleeping quarters… You can clean yourself in there." He told her. Rey met his eyes and was relieved that she didn't find regret in them. "I'll find you something to wear." He stood and pulled his pants on unhurriedly before disappearing into the same room he had earlier that evening. 

Rey collected herself and followed down the hall, trying hard not to concentrate on the fluid that slicked her thighs, but failing. She opened the only door that led off to the right. It was a small room with a bed along the wall and some simple built-in closets that matched the one in the lounge. There was also a door that led off the room that connected the refresher. Rey made her way into the tight space, the door closed behind her, and she stepped into the sonic washer. As the waves beat against her dissolving the evidence of the last fifteen minutes she thought about what she would do now, and tried to make sense of why she had kissed him in the first place. No acceptable answers were forthcoming. When she felt as clean as one can, after betraying one's own trust, she turned the sonic off and stepped out. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. A bruise was spreading over her neck, she touched it gingerly. It hadn't felt like he'd held her hard enough for that. She’d really liked the pressure of his hand at the time, which surprised her. 

She wondered if he would say anything about it.

She fixed her hair back into three loose buns and left the refresher. A long black men's shirt and pair of tied pants were folded neatly on the corner of the bed. She dressed quickly. Rey could sense he was standing just outside the door, waiting. When she was decent, she padded over to the door and opened it with a touch. He was standing there holding the restraints he had put her in earlier. He was also wearing her stolen lightsaber and an apologetic expression.

"Go sit on the bed and give me your arm." He said simply.

"We aren't going to talk about this?" She asked in disbelief.

"We can talk in the morning, but now, we both need to sleep." He said as he walked her back into the room. Rey sat on the bed and offered him her left arm. He took it and placed one of the cuffs around it. Then he reached over and cuffed it’s twin to the frame of the bed.

"I'm sorry, but I can't trust you not to strangle me in my sleep." He said, pulling the blankets up to her chest. He walked to the light dial and turned the lights out. She heard him make his way into the corner of the room and lay down. He fell asleep quickly. 

Rey was left to ponder the evening in the dark.

She arranged her limbs again, attempting to get comfortable under her blankets, but it wasn't the mattress or the cuffs that kept her awake, it was Kylo's restlessness. She couldn't sleep like this. Listening to him toss and turn and murmur unintelligibly in his sleep. She wondered if she should reach out and touch him with the Force and try to wake him. The idea was unnerving, she didn't know how he would react to his mind being meddled with in his unconsciousness, and she didn't want to upset him. But she would lose her mind without sleep. Deciding there was nothing else for it she called his name quietly.

"Kylo?" 

He didn’t wake.

She tried again and again after that, but he was still asleep, tossing.

Frustration boiled up in her chest. “...Ben?”

His reaction was so swift it frightened her. He flung himself from the floor and ignited the lightsaber. She shrank back reflexively. The blade filled the small space with a threatening hum and light. She could see his chest heaving and the gleam of sweat on his forehead despite the chill that had settled on the ship.

"You were only dreaming." She said in a soothing whisper.

His eyes flashed to her and he seemed to relax. He lowered the blue blade.

"Go back to sleep." He said, before he switched off the lightsaber, plunging them back into darkness.

"That's what I was trying to do," Rey said irritably, "You're the one tossing in their sleep."

"...I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [Aquaintance](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/art/Aquaintance-657697131) by [PangolinPirate](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)  
> [](http://s44.photobucket.com/user/pangolinpirate/media/Aquaintance_zpssl5tz7ky.jpg.html)


	5. Acknowledgment

This was dangerous; for him, for her, and for the outcome of this war.

He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes until it hurt. He wanted her… all of her; her power, her mind, her body. He’d been hard-pressed to control himself when he felt the beginnings of desire blossom within her also, though despite his best effort she had slipped past his defenses. She’d gotten too close. Too close to the core of him. ‘I can’t afford to think of her this way.’ he thought, desperately aware of her laying only feet from him. It was a mistake. Fucking her last night had been short sighted and selfish. He couldn’t deny that she’d wanted it, had even asked...but ‘I should have ended it.’ 

It was too late for that. His desire had gotten the better of him, the power that coursed through one’s body when drawing from the Dark Side of the Force was intoxicating...overwhelming, but it could easily blind one to consequences. ‘She’ll not want you now.’ He told himself, but he wouldn’t be sure until she woke.

This wasn’t the time for distractions; and Rey was a distraction… a breathtaking, challenging, and deeply satisfying one. 

He opened his eyes and stared unseeing into the pitch of the sleeping cabin. She’d woken him last night, interrupting his usual nightmare. He’d been grateful but also embarrassed that he’d kept her awake with his restlessness. He’d refused himself sleep after she’s woken him and now, he could feel her tranquil mind wandering aimlessly in her sleep and hear her rhythmic breathing. 

He focused on Rey’s unconsciousness and drifted along with it. He hadn’t been enveloped in a calm of this nature since he’d renounced and destroyed his uncle’s academy… renounced his family. Destroyed his family. The memories of his childhood stung afresh as he experienced the sensation again. Her mind was a haven of serenity and peace and staying would affect him. 

‘She called me Ben.’ He thought as warmth filled his chest, but it was quickly chased away by caution. He was hesitant to allow her to continue addressing him that way… he liked the way it sounded falling from her lips. He’d liked it too much. Snoke might sense his contentedness in being called by his birth name. His dead name. That might be the end of everything.

He had to leave. Indulging in her quiet mind was folly and she’d been right after all, Kylo Ren wasn’t welcome there. 

He came back to himself with a great amount of will power. Tearing away was painful, but pain was an unavoidable facet of the path he’d chosen. Necessary. He cloaked himself in it. He couldn’t allow himself to be swallowed up by her, he must cling to the darkness. 

Sleep wouldn’t find him again. He pulled himself quietly from the floor, and careful not to wake her, left the room. The inset lights came alive as he exited the room and bathed the lounge in a soft glow. His eyes lingered on the sofa and the memory of hours ago replayed vividly in his mind as he knelt stiffly in the center of the room. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to seep into the Force, felt the tendrils of his mind wind their way across the vastness of the universe. He let the tide take him and drifted. It wasn’t long before he was lost in the Force and he rested his mind in its embrace. 

Hours passed before he was pulled from his commune by a disturbance. 

He pulled himself off the floor and returned to the dimly lit sleeping quarters. Upon entering he found her awake, hair rustled and untidy, and hazel eyes gazing back at him. He walked to her without a word and knelt to release her wrist from the restraint that held her to the bed frame. Kylo felt her apprehension radiate from her and remembered the promise to talk about what had happened.

“I apologize.” He said quietly as her left wrist fell free of the cuff. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” She said. A blush tinted her chest and crept up her neck. He noticed the violet shadow of a new bruise that had set around her throat and he felt ashamed. It was a sobering sight. She pulled herself up against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest. She gave him a searching look and he could tell she wanted to say more. The unspoken words hung on her lips threatening to spill out. 

“What have we done?” She asked finally, in a terrified whisper. 

He took a moment to think how best to answer… but decided there was nothing to be said.

“I hate you.” She looked away, “But-”

“You should hate me,” He confirmed, cutting her off quickly. He sat himself at her side and felt her surprise. She avoided his eyes and looked down at her twisting hands.

“I wanted you, and that was wrong.”

He took a steadying breath. “The things I’ve done, the things I am capable of, are deserving of your hatred.” Kylo told her seriously. There was a heavy silence. “Hatred is not embraced by the Jedi,” He was watching her, “Nor passion.” She stilled quite suddenly under the hand that he lay on her knee. He slowly trailed it down her thigh. She was quiet, but he felt the mix of her desire and consequent disgust. “The light you cling to does not shine as brightly as you may think... I’ve seen the shadows in you.” 

She met his eyes accusingly but remained silently defiant.

He shifted on the bed and drew his hand back to himself. “If you desire to remain the padawan of Luke Skywalker, you will crush the feelings you have for me, let go of your desire and hatred… and I will forget what I saw in you last night.” She looked away, ashamed. “If you choose this, I will correct our course and deliver you directly to Supreme Leader Snoke. He will decide your fate.” He brushed some of her hair from her face. “If you decide you cannot extinguish the flames of your hatred and passion, and you embrace them for what they are we will move forward as Master and Apprentice.” He turned away from her. “It’s your choice.” With those words he stood and exited the sleeping quarters, leaving her to her thoughts.

He would be disappointed if she chose Skywalker, killing her would be nearly as difficult as killing his own father. Kylo went to the cockpit to check the conditions report. When he sat in the pilot's seat with grim expectations the R9 unit beeped and chirped inquisitively. “Yes, it does complicate things.” He told the astromech, disinterested. The droid clicked and whirred suggestively in reply. Kylo spun in the chair to fix the droid with an unamused expression. “Unfortunately you're opinion doesn’t matter.” He told the droid, before snapping his attention back to the monitor. R9-X4 beeped mutedly in his corner and turned its optics back to the nav dial. Kylo chose to ignore the droid and continued to read the monitor. Nothing had changed while they’d slept. 

There was a lack of activities to distract him as he waited for Rey’s decision, and his irritation with the astromech drove him from the cockpit and back into the lounge where he allowed his mind to wander; and remembered how she felt straddling his hips. She had been powerful when her light intertwined with the dark. If she rejected the darkness now, he’d be left with nothing.

‘Did she feel it too?’ He wondered absently.

~)o(~

Rey couldn’t bring herself to move. She sat on the bed, devastated. He was right… about everything. 

How could she hope to be a Jedi when she allowed her emotions to dictate her actions so easily; when she felt so deeply that she could lose herself to her own whims? When she had succumbed to him. ‘What possessed me to kiss him, to fuck him?!’ She looked at her open palms and an uncomfortable tingle ran along her spine; she remembered his knotted skin, his roped scars passing beneath her hands. Remembered the taste of his mouth and the texture of his hair… and a moment ago, when he’d slid his warm hand across her thigh she had wanted him again. ‘What have I done?’ She asked herself.

She could feel the darkness within her… she’d never felt more lost. 

She pressed her will against the Force. She reached for Master Luke... he would know what to do and she desperately needed his counsel. But it was impossible, her mind hit the solid, impenetrable wall that she had come to know as Kylo’s mind. She’d encountered it since she was delivered to the Finalizer, and it had without fail, kept her from finding Luke. She was afraid and she couldn’t push the fear aside. “Fear leads to the dark side.” She heard her master’s words reverberate in her skull. 

‘Master Luke.’ The thought sunk into her stomach and turned violently. ‘I couldn’t contain my fear, and now-’ She buried her face in her palms and found herself contemplating the unthinkable. ‘Now I’ve invited the darkness in.’ Rey shook at the thought… she didn’t want to believe it. Couldn’t afford to believe it. 

She pressed against the Force again desperately. Throwing her mind against the barrier hard at first, but as time passed she became exhausted and her attempts died. She couldn’t find a way out of Kylo’s cage, and she wondered if she would be able to undo the damage of her imminent treachery. She knew Kylo Ren was awaiting her choice. She could feel him through the Force, his mind was alight with unwavering conviction. He was a man of his word. If she rejected his ultimatum, she knew he would bring her directly to Snoke; and Snoke wouldn’t hesitate killing her. She was trapped. 

Master Luke told her there was no point in throwing her life away, she knew deep down that she really didn’t have a choice. The choice had been made for her the moment Jeshi betrayed her to the First Order. She knew what she had to do, she just wasn’t sure if she could do it just yet. She sat for a while longer, calming her thoughts.

“I’m sorry.” She breathed into the empty room, wishing that Master Luke could hear her, before gathering her wits and striding purposefully from the room.

She found him on his knees, eyes closed and palms resting against his thighs. He looked perfectly serene, but she could feel the poorly concealed emotions running beneath the surface. He didn’t acknowledge her presence, but she knew he expected her to approach him. She did, and chose to cross her legs and meditate along side him in the way Master Luke had taught her. She lowered herself to the floor and arranged her limbs, closed her eyes and began to take deep measured breaths. In. Out. In again. Until she lost herself to the expanse of the Force and drifted. She felt out around herself. She could feel Kylo, a dark mass of barely contained energy and then nothingness stretching ever outward.

His mind brushed gently against her own; it was a polite greeting and she resisted flinching away.

‘I understand the conflict inside you.’ his voice filtered into her mind.

‘I betrayed all that I know,’ she answered, suddenly angry, ‘everything Master Luke taught me, I threw it away last night.’ 

‘You’re guilt will fade.’ He said not unkindly. 

She wasn’t comforted. ‘Time will be the judge of that.’ 

‘I will not fail you, as Skywalker has.” He promised. 

But with his promise sunk her stomach further. She didn’t know if she could do this. 

“Be mindful of your feelings,” Kylo said, his voice brought her back to the ship. She opened her eyes to see him, relaxed and still, but gazing openly at her “they betray you.”

Her anger bristled but calmed when he gave her a patient smile. The smile cast a new light on his features, softened them. She felt completely disarmed, this wasn’t the same man she’d met months ago. He broke his meditative kneel and adjusted his limbs to mirror her own. She felt an unselfish eagerness to help her encompass her mind; and she forgot her anger and uncertainty as she saw him change before her eyes.

“Good.” He told her. 

A spark of caution ran down her spine… she should be frightened of him in that moment, but she couldn’t make herself be frightened. “Where do we begin?” The question fell from her tongue without thinking. 

“With breakfast.” He answered, standing. He offered her his hand, and she hesitated for a moment, but accepted it. He pulled her up and released her. 

“I’m afraid the fare is unappetizing.” He said, making his way down the hall.

She followed him into the second compartment on the starboard side. It was a galley. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked as he pulled a canister out of a small compartment. 

Rey nodded. He opened a canister and removed two nutritional packets before replacing it back in it’s place. 

“We should eat quickly, we arrive soon.” He said, matter-of-factly. 

He had opened the packets and pressed a button on the wall. Superheated water poured out of a small tube, and into the opened food packets. He handed one of the steaming food packets to her. The ghost of his smile still clinging to his features. She eyed the gray contents that he had handed her; it was very like what she was accustomed to on Jakku. She wanted to keep him talking, his voice eased her nervousness.

“I’ve only heard stories of Dathomir, told by junkers in passing… but none had nice things to say.”

“No one will come looking for you there.” He answered simply, making a show of squeezing past her as he made his way back toward the lounge. Rey couldn’t argue with that, there were no ties to either of them, to her knowledge, that connected them to Dathomir. She paced along behind him, through the lounge and into the cockpit. He sat in the pilot’s seat and began toying with the controls between bites of the gray mush. She sank into the co-pilot’s chair and began eating also.

“You’ll need something more suitable to wear.” He said offhandedly. Rey looked down at herself and silently agreed. She’d rolled the hem of the tied pants up around her ankles and to say the shirt was overlarge for her was an understatement. She looked ridiculous. “When we arrive, I’ll find you something more appropriate.” He offered.

“You’re going to leave me alone with the shuttle?” Rey asked incredulously.

“You won’t be alone, R9 will stay also.” He said.

“You aren’t worried I’ll fly away?”

He turned to look at her seriously. “Unless R9 is a co-conspirator in your escape plans you won’t be going anywhere.” The droid bleeped in a negative tone. “Besides, I don’t enjoy the prospect of leaving this ship unsupervised.”

Rey took a bite of the gray mush, it was nearly tasteless. 

“It wouldn’t be unsupervised,” she reminded him sarcastically. “R9 would be here.” She gestured lazily to the droid. Rey could feel his restrained amusement as he looked away and continued to manipulate the dash controls. 

“You’ll watch the ship, and R9 will watch you.” He said, taking his harness and clipping it securely around him.

~)o(~

The shuttle exited hyperspace and the hulking red mass of Dathomir loomed before them. Kylo maneuvered the craft steadily into the atmosphere, and they set down not far from a small settlement. He taped a series of buttons and switches and Rey heard the engines spool down into silence.

“I won’t be gone long.” He told her when he re-entered the cockpit, fully dressed and with both lightsabers hanging from his belt. He picked his helmet up from the communications seat and pulled it over his head. It sealed with a hiss. Kylo eyed her up and down. He felt confident that he could guess her measurements, but then he looked to her naked feet. “What size shoe do you wear?”

She shrugged her shoulders and lifted her foot to consider it. “I’ve always made my own. I don’t know what size I am.” She answered, unhelpfully.

“Let me see.” He said grabbing her foot in his gloved hands. He laid his palm flat against her sole. His middle finger reached just past her small toe. That would be enough to make a guess. Kylo released her and she set set it back on the metal floor. “Stay here. I don’t want to chase you through a forest, again.” Rey only blinked up at him.

“I’ll stay.” She assured him. He couldn’t sense deception. 

“R9, keep an eye on her. Alert me if she attempts to leave.” He directed the droid. The astromech beeped dutifully at him it’s welding probe sparked threateningly and it’s optical dome swung around to fix on Rey.

“No need for hostility.” Rey told the droid. “I’m not going anywhere.”

His boots rang loudly against the loading ramp and red dust blew in violent swirls around him. Dathomir was a decidedly unpleasant place. The flora naturally appeared dead or dying, with little to no leaves and the hulking trees sprouted nothing more than large dried pods. The atmosphere reflected a blood red color and it’s two small moons shone faintly through the clouds. Kylo made his way into the run-down settlement.

Dathomir had become a breeding ground for bounty hunters and the slime of the galaxy. Many inhabitants scurried away into shops, behind booths, and disappeared down alleys at his approach. A few of the more menacing looking characters had only stopped to watch him, some with hands clasped around still holstered blasters. Kylo made his way toward a pale and tattooed man sitting relaxed in a chair outside a crumbling cantina, who looked to be a local. The man’s yellow eyes watched him unblinking while he approached. Kylo came to stand a meter from him. The man’s lips pulled up in a snarl revealing sharpened and yellowed teeth.

“I’m in the market for new attire and weapons.” Kylo said, seeming bored. “If you would point me in the correct direction,” he showed the man several druggats casually, “I would be most appreciative.”

The man straightened his back and leaned forward, outstretching his hand. Kylo tipped the druggats into his palm. “You will find a dealer two alleys down from here, toward the swamp.” The man hissed and tilted his head in the mentioned direction, “His name is Gavlint, a Dug. He will have the wares you are looking for.”

Kylo bent his head slightly in thanks and moved quickly toward the dealer’s shop. It didn’t take long to find the ramshackled place. Kylo entered the dimly lit structure and looked around. There was a modest selection of weapons, fabrics, outerwear, and boots. Kylo removed his gloves and strode through the cramped space, testing the weight and texture of the garments as he passed. There was a clattering in an adjoining room and a dug came bustling out waving his lower limbs before his face, warding off the dust that billowed out the open door. He was swearing loudly in his native tongue before it’s watery eyes settled on him.

“What can I do for you?” He asked sharply.

“I need new attire and weapons. I was directed here.” Kylo spoke slowly through the filter.

The dug’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t deal in black market weapons, and if I did I would have enough sense not to barter with an off-worlder.” He said, followed by a coughing fit. “This damned dust!” He swore, beating on his chest.

Kylo was unconvinced. “Of course.” Kylo said, nonchalantly. “Just the clothes then.”

“You’ve come to the right place.” Gavlint raised his lower limbs and motioned about the dark shop. “I’ll leave you to my wares.”

Kylo turned away from the dirty creature and set about finding something suitable for Rey to wear, as Gavlint slunk back into the separated room. He settled quickly on a rust colored tunic with wide three quarter length sleeves, a heavy black vest coat, a wide utility belt also black, dark grey high waisted pants made from a durable fabric, a long black hooded cloak, and a pair of heavy knee length combat boots. As he approached the counter he could see into the back room. Propped against a wall were a pair of phrik alloy electrostaffs, he pulled them toward himself using the Force. They were balanced nicely and Kylo decided arming his new apprentice may have more advantages than disadvantages in the coming days. Dathomir was less than hospitable.

“You have made your selection, then?” The dug asked, pacing his way back to the counter.

Kylo didn’t answer, only laid the items down. Also slamming the staffs on the counter. The dug's eyes widened and a guttural laugh tore from him. “Those are not for sale.” He asserted, twisting one of the tendrils that hung from his upper lip. “Perhaps you should try-” Kylo grew tired of the lying filth and pulled a small case from his belt.

“Not even for a case of nova crystals?” He asked acidly. 

The dug’s greedy eyes light up, and he reconsidered. “Perhaps for you…”

Kylo had enough. “You will offer these item to me, free of charge.” He told him, gesturing his hand minutely. 

The dug was quiet for a moment, confused. “For you, the items are free of charge.”

Kylo collected the clothing and staffs from the counter, reclipping the nova crystals to his belt and left the shop. He was growing anxious leaving Rey and R9 for this long. She could have disabled him he knew… or the smuggling scum in the village may have gone to steal his ship, taking Rey and R9 as well.

He was relieved when he approached his ship and found it undisturbed. He slammed his fist against the loading ramp release and climbed aboard. “R9, take us into some mountains.” Kylo ordered as soon as he entered the shuttle. He threw down the weapons and tossed the long dark hooded cloak and boots to the floor. The loading ramp came back up and sealed itself. “And keep us low, I don’t want to be followed.” He added when he felt the engines fire-up. The droid beeped back at him in an affirmative. Kylo removed his helmet and set it down on one of the plush chairs and ran his hand through his black hair.

“You were fast.” Rey said. He looked up to see her leaning in the doorway to the sleeping quarters wearing only the long shirt he had given her. “I was about to wash up.” She offered lamely, not meeting his gaze. He felt she was embarrassed and a little aroused. 

“Here,” He said, walking to her and handing her the clothes he had collected for her. ”...while I like you in my shirt, these are better suited for your training.” He watched her test the texture of the fabric between her thin fingers. She seemed pleased. 

“The color is a little dark for my taste, but thank you.” A blush was creeping over her cheeks and Kylo couldn’t help but notice the bruise around her neck again. He reached out and lifted her chin so he could see it better and traced his fingers delicately around the shadow of ruptured blood vessels. 

“You should have told me I was hurting you.” He admonished, searching her face. A heat was beginning to form within him. He wasn’t sure if it was simply her proximity or her half-dress that got to him. Rey took a step back and her own free hand touched her throat. 

“You didn’t.” She said, her blush deepening. He raised a brow. Unless that blotched skin was a result of self harm, and he knew it was not, than she was a sad liar; though he wasn’t sure why she would lie about this.

“It doesn’t look that way.” Kylo said, moving past her into the sleeping quarters. He was trying to mask his feelings from her now, though he suspected he was doing a poor job. He sensed her attraction growing stronger. He was sick with himself, the sight of the bruise he had left on her aroused him. Rey spun around and the door closed. 

“I liked it.” Her voice left as a whisper, but crashed upon his ears like a gale. He turned to face her while a heady mix of lust and anger ran through him.

“You liked it.” Kylo hissed in disbelief, and stalked around her, gauging her response. “You enjoyed being strangled… as I ravaged your body and spilled myself inside you?” his voice sounded oddly strained, unhinged. He’d come full circle and stood before her again.

Her lips were parted and she exhaled, her pupils dilated. Kylo could see the freckles that dotted her cheeks and nose stand out plainly as the color flushed from her face. Her arousal was overwhelming his senses. He didn’t peg her as a masochist, this was something else. His chest tightened and he shifted uncomfortably in his suddenly restrictive pants.

“Yes.” She sounded lascivious, but she felt ashamed. 

He breathed in sharply making his nostrils flare and he grasped her upper arm, pulling her nearer. She collided hard with his chest and dropped the clothes he had brought her. 

“Tell me ‘yes’ once more and I will take you again, here, against this wall.” His eyes ran longingly up and down her form. “And this time I won’t be so gentle.” He growled. Kylo wondered why she liked this. Was it because it made her feel powerless? He didn’t think so… ‘She would have had enough of that by now. Maybe she likes the pain?’ He couldn’t be sure. ‘Are you punishing yourself for something?’ That one felt closer to the truth. He needed to understand… so he reached for her mind and brushed against it curiously. It opened before him, so easy to look into someone who is unaccustomed to their own emotions, but what met him quickly tempered his longing for her.

He felt her tremble, physically and mentally, against him. He withdrew and took a steadying breath. She was confused, upset he’d pulled away. He tucked one of her stray hairs behind her ear and ran the pad of his thumb along her cheekbone. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He nearly lost his resolve.

“I won’t allow you to pretend that I’m forcing myself on you.” He told her gently, and he backed away from her.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Rey gasped. There was a note of genuine confusion in her voice.

Kylo considered her for a moment. ‘She may not understand her own motivations.’ He thought suddenly.

“No, perhaps you don’t.” He agreed. Rey lost some of her fire with his words. That was alright, he would restrain himself, if only to avoid becoming the monster that she wanted so desperately. “Consider that what you feel for me is natural… biological. The hatred, the lust you harbor will take time for you to process and accept.” Kylo stooped to pick up her clothes, and he handed them back to her shaking hands. “You want me to show you force in this... to ease your conscience about your decision. You want to tell yourself you don’t have a choice.” He sat on the corner of the bed and took a calming breath. “It’s tempting for me to ignore that, ignore your feelings and your attempt to justify your actions, but I won’t. You do have a choice, Rey.”

He knew she was digging through her thoughts and sifting through her feelings, searching for the truth in his words. Her eyebrows creased and her eyes had gone oddly blank. He stood from the bed and made his way back to the door. He wanted her to feel comforted, and not the sting of his refusal of her affection; but this would have to be a lesson in recognizing and wielding her emotions. She needed to become more aware of herself.

“As much as I’d like to have you again… I can’t. Until you have come to terms with your choices, I won’t touch you.” he said as he passed, and he left the room. 

When the door closed behind him he readjusted himself and began willing away his arousal. His heart was racing and he shook with the effort to calm himself. Her flesh was a temptation he would have to temper, or so he told himself. The act of leaving her there, while they were both wanting, was a promising first step. He wouldn’t allow her to be a distraction, for both their sakes. 

He found R9 in the cockpit, spinning the navigation and control dial. The droid chirped an unreturned greeting as Kylo sat in his pilot’s chair. He watched the red scenery pass through the transparisteel, they were approaching a range of mountains. He turned to look at the astromech. “These mountains will do, R9.” The unit beeped an affirmative and the shuttle maneuvered lower in preparation to land. Kylo watched through the viewer and spotted a large cave opening in the distance, it seemed large enough for the shuttle to fit. He directed the astromech to set them down there, the cover would help conceal them from any passing search droids. He knew full well that the Resistance would know of their flight from the Finalizer and would be looking for them, and he didn’t want to make it easy.

When the shuttle was set down and the engines died but Rey failed to appear again, Kylo got up from his seat and marched back to the sleeping quarters. The door slid open for him. Rey had dressed in the new clothing and was laying on the bed, face down, her shoulders tense and her face hidden in the crook of her arm. 

She radiated defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [Acknowledgment](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/art/Acknowledgment-658289487) by [PangolinPirate](http://pangolinpirate.deviantart.com/) on [DeviantArt](http://www.deviantart.com)  
> [](http://s44.photobucket.com/user/pangolinpirate/media/Chapter5_zpsrsf0dzqa.jpg.html)


	6. Apprentice

The cool blankets did nothing to comfort her when she came crashing down on them. She balled the white sheets in her fists, coping with her self inflicted anguish. She’d been stupid. Blind. Her eyes, which hadn’t watered in weeks, seemed to suddenly remember how to weep again. She sobbed into the crook of her arm until she had no tears to spill.

The new power she felt frightened her, and try as she may, she couldn’t force it from her. That monster had slowly poisoned her with his presence. His darkness had seeped into her and taken root. She didn’t feel like herself anymore, the young woman who’d left Jakku was a distant memory. The naivety and purity of that girl was gone… replaced by a power which was strong, willful, and beyond her control.

A small piece of her realized they had landed, but she couldn’t bring herself to sit and arrange her features into a semblance of composure. She couldn’t bring herself to care that he would see her this way… a twisted vision of who she used to be, and thought bitterly that he might be happy. Happy to see he had finally won, pleased to see her broken. It wasn’t long before he came to her. She heard the door open and his muffled steps approach... heard him pause; and knew he was standing over her. Watching. She felt him reach out for her in the Force, but she pulled away from his touch.

“You will continue to be frightened if you ignore your connection with the Dark Side.”

She didn’t acknowledge him. 

‘Conquer your fear, transform it into your strength.’ The sensation of his voice in her mind made her stirr.

She whispered, so quietly that she wasn’t sure if the words had left. “I don’t know what I am anymore.” 

Distantly she was aware of the mattress dipping and his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. The hand pressed against her and rolled her onto her back. She closed her puffy red eyes, she couldn’t bare to look at him. Kylo let out a shaky breath before she felt his hands close around her. He took her by the shoulders and lifted her into a sitting position, then pulled her feet from the bed. 

“Look at me?” Kylo asked. Rey felt his hands run down her arms and rest over her hands.

“I can’t.” She told him weakly.

“Open your eyes, and look at your master.” Kylo commanded, tightening his grip on her hands, which had begun to tremble. 

She couldn’t understand the way he possessed her so completely. She opened her eyes despite her aversion. They trained immediately on his steady gaze. His eyes were soft, deep brown pools of calm and she felt his appreciation for her cooperation flowing from him. 

‘There you are.’ She felt his mind sweeping through her consciousness. His eyes bore into her, searching. Soon, he’d isolated a small portion of her mind. ‘This, is where you will find control.’ He told her, she could feel him drawing her focus to it. It was growing warm. ‘With practice, you will use this place to channel your fear, hatred, and passion... into a strength that you can wield.’ He was manipulating the section of her mind, his presence against it made her insides hum and her muscles relax against her own volition. She felt a surge of relief flooding her veins, the fear and disappointment being driven out and replaced by determination. ‘That’s better.’

“How did you do that?” 

“I’ll teach you.” He lectured her. “You are the master of your own fear, your fear does not control you.” He said, before withdrawing from her. “Come, walk with me.” He released her hands and stood. “I have much to teach you, and little time.”

Rey rose from the mattress and followed him in silence to the lounge. She watched as he summoned two electrostaffs to his open palm. He offered one to her, and she took it with ill disguised unease.

“How did you know I use a staff?” She asked, inspecting the weapon. She was certain he had never seen her with one.

“I didn’t.” He said, walking past her toward the cockpit. “I don’t think we will ignite them today. We’ll practice form. Put on your boots.” Rey felt she wasn’t getting the whole truth from him but decided it wasn’t important. She didn’t care that he’d picked a staff anyway. At least, that’s what she told herself. He disappeared from view and she scanned the room for the promised footwear. Her eyes passed over a pair of knee-high boots lying on the floor by the loading ramp. She went to sit and pull them on, but found Kylo’s helmet in the nearest chair. Rey leaned the electrostaff against the wall and took the helmet, turning it over in her hands. It was lighter than she’d expected. She looked inside, there was nothing special about the mask that she could see. Rey glanced behind her to the cockpit and saw him begin to turn away from the astromech, so she threw the helmet to the sofa. She sat quickly and busied herself with pulling on the combat boots. She was beginning to lose the feeling of ease and confidence he’d given her... that trick didn’t seem to work for long. At least, not without guidance. The boots felt stiff and slightly too small. “You will break them in.” he told her, watching from the cockpit entrance. Rey nodded, as stiffly as the boots and stood. She saw the lightsabers on his hip and hoped they wouldn’t be dueling with those again any time soon. He grabbed her staff from the wall and pushed it back into her hand then collected his helmet. “Let’s go.” He released the loading ramp and stalked down it, shoving the helmet over his head with one hand and gripping the twin electrostaff in the other.

The cave rock was crimson, and the air was cool and crisp, much nicer than the recycled air offered aboard the shuttle. Rey looked up wonderingly at the immense natural ceiling, it reminded her of the empty dilapidated hulls of the totaled star destroyers in the Jakku wastes. She thought it was a stroke of luck that he had found a cave opening large enough to house the shuttle. But then, he had probably used the Force. Kylo was making progress toward the mouth of the cavern, but Rey who was overcome by curiosity, jogged to the back of the shuttle and looked up at what was meant to be two standard sublight ion engines. Rey noticed he had somehow managed to add what looked like an old GBk-585 hyperdrive unit, it was ancient but in impressive condition. She knew that the GBk was notoriously good only for one jump after fueling. ‘So, he wasn’t bluffing about leaving us on emergency power if I tried to re-route us.’ She thought. ‘It would have left us stranded…. wait.’ She turned her head to see where he had gotten to, a feeling of… trust?... pulled at her chest. He had bluffed her, she realized. ‘He couldn’t have taken me straight to Snoke if he’d redirected course. Not unless he planned on bringing me there at sub-lightspeed.’ And the idea of sub-light was absurd.

He was silhouetted by the light filtering into the cavern, waiting not so patiently for her to catch up. Something was off. She could sense deception, but it wasn’t of a hostile nature. Rey could feel his eyes on her so she turned back and made her way to him pondering just what else may not be as it seemed. 

After a few minutes of walking in uncomfortable silence, and not wanting to call him on his bluff earlier this morning, Rey asked. “Where did you find the old hyperdrive unit?”

“You won’t like the answer-” He replied. “But, I’ll tell you if you insist.”

Rey shook her head and didn’t press him any further, suspecting she believed him. They walked along a small game trail for several klicks, crossing a small mountain stream but mostly passing dead looking flora as they made their way outward from the cave. Another klick passed by before the trail wound into a large clearing which shouldered a cliff and dense flora. Kylo stopped and pulled off his helmet before placing it on a boulder. “This will do.” He said, and he kicked his staff up into his hands and twirled it experimentally. Rey found that her knuckles had gone white against her hold on her own electrostaff. She watched him swinging its twin with well practiced grace, his elegant form resembled nothing she’d learned while on Jakku. She looked like a barbarian in comparison.

The thought was driven from her mind when, without warning, he attacked her. She barely ducked out of the way in time. The staff went swooping over her where her head had just been. She lost her balance and he pressed his advantage, swinging the electrostaff forward and taking a vicious swipe at her legs. Rey narrowly blocked him as she pulled her staff up to protect herself, the clack of the alloy split the air. 

“Don’t let your guard down.” He advised smugly.

The quip made her anger rise to the surface. Rey spun her staff as she backed away, moving further into the clearing. Kylo didn’t give her the time to regain steady footing. He chased her down and struck, jabbed, thrust, and swung his staff relentlessly. Rey was managing to parry and block his attacks, but noticed her retreat had brought her dangerously close to the cliff's edge. She needed to go on the offensive or risk being pushed over. And she knew that, given the opportunity, he very well may try to drive her over the edge. He was brutal. As he twirled the staff to change hands she saw an opening and exploited it. Rey thrust her staff at his ribs. It almost got him, but he had managed to dodge it, at the expense of his balance which had been compromised. Rey whipped her staff up and slashed it across his exposed torso, hitting him hard. She heard the air escape his lungs with the impact. 

Not one to waste time, she ran past him, back into the clearing away from the cliff. When she turned to face him she froze. Kylo had recovered quickly, his jaw was clenched and his dark brows had furrowed in concentration. He was spinning the staff in slow languid movements as he paced toward her. He looked predatory, this wasn’t anything like the lightsaber training she had been forced to endure on the ship. She knew she had struck a nerve, and could feel his determination double. She crouched low and held her staff tucked under her arm, waiting, feeling her chest rise and fall more quickly. He ran at her then, and swung the electrostaff high, it came hurtling down on her. Rey threw her staff above her with both hands just in time. The resulting clack was piercing, and he let his weight fall against her hard, overpowering her. Rey’s arms were beginning to tremble under the strain. 

She could tell he was enjoying this. Kylo retreated several paces just as her arms had begun to give out and began working up some velocity. Rey jumped up and flourished her staff in front of herself defensively. He struck again.

They sparred for hours, exchanging blows, parrying, blocking, retreating, and advancing. She had wanted to stop to breathe on multiple occasions, but he pressed her on. Kylo had attempted to correct her form and Rey in turn, had forced him to lose some of his own refined technique. They each had been struck several times, though Kylo had come off worse. The sun was making it’s final push toward the horizon when he threw his staff down and raised his arms in mock defeat. They were both exhausted and dripping in sweat.

“That’s enough for today.” He said, catching his breath and looking toward the sky.

Rey was glad to hear it, almost delirious with fatigue. She didn’t have the energy left to fight anymore. Her muscles sung with pain, her lungs burned, and her sides and thigh felt swollen. She slumped to the ground and focused on breathing, taking giant gulps of oxygen and closing her eyes. After a moment she heard him sit beside her, also working hard to regain his breath. 

“We need to get back to the shuttle… we may already have been gone too long.” 

“No one... is out here... to steal parts... off your ship.” Rey said in an exhausted sighs, he was being ridiculous, his ship was fine. “Surely, we can wait... for us to catch our breath?”

Kylo chuckled unhumorously in response, then said tentatively, “Those aren’t the kind of scavengers I’m worried about.” 

Rey opened her eyes to look at him, the sky had become noticeably darker in the short amount of time she had rested. Something in his tone was sending her body into high alert. Still taking labored breaths, he was actively scanning the trees with unease and that made her nervous. Her heart began to pound hard again and fresh adrenaline flushed through her system. She sat up quickly.

“Is someone out there?” She asked quietly, picking up her staff and looking in earnest at the shadowed trees that had drawn his attention. Now that she was thinking about it, she felt something there too.

“No,” he answered slowly, “...but something.” He squinted slightly and got slowly to his feet, his right hand made it’s way to hover over the hilts of the lightsabers. Rey’s eyes strained in the half-light and the hair on her arms stood on end. She could feel his alertness washing over her but couldn’t see into the trees.

“Get up.” He ordered, his voice remained quiet and level. “Slowly. It’s watching us.”

~)o(~

His eyes were playing a cruel trick. ‘These creatures shouldn’t be here.’ Kylo told himself, these were plains-dwelling animals. He had specifically chosen the mountains to avoid them… and this one was large for it’s kind. Rey mustn't have seen it yet. He had a sobering realization that if he hadn’t been centering himself he may not have known it was lurking there either. The beast blended in well among the flora and shadows, but he could see it now; and it clearly could see them. It was watching, unblinking, unstirring. Kylo swallowed hard, it was so quiet, he would have expected that a beast of that size would be clumsy, would have alerted them to it's presence before getting this close. He knew they would never outrun it, they were too tired, so dashing back to the ship was out of the question. It raised it’s head, sniffing the air. And at that moment he knew that Rey had seen it. She’d gasped and he could feel the immediate panic that crashed against him.

“What is it?” She asked in terror.

“A rancor.” He told her.

“Can we outrun it?” she asked, hopefully.

“No." Very slowly, he unhooked the familiar red vented lightsaber from his belt. "I'm surprised it hasn’t attacked us yet.” He handed the lightsaber to Rey. “Take this, do not turn it on unless it charges.”

Rey took the hilt with shaking hands and put her staff down silently. 

The rancor was sniffing harder now, stretching its neck out toward them. He could hear it now, the wet inhalation and gargled exhalation. It took a step closer, another, it was getting low to the ground and Kylo could see its enormous four fingered hands clenched in anticipation, it’s maw hung open, and it’s small calculating eyes rolled in their shallow sockets. He tensed his tired muscles and clutched the hilt of his grandfather’s lightsaber. He should have been more mindful of their sparring, he was sure it had been the sound that lured it here. He should have noticed the time, this whole situation was his fault, and after he’d promised her that he wouldn’t fail her like his uncle had failed him.

The rancor lunged with alarming speed. Barreling from the trees and into the clearing. Kylo and Rey ignited their lightsabers, but the hum that issued from the weapons was overpowered by the beasts blood chilling, gurgling roar. Kylo dashed toward the cliff, avoiding the angry snare of the monster. Rey had flattened herself against the soil, narrowly escaping. The rancor bellowed in fury, and the sound reverberated in his chest. It seemed to have forgotten Rey because it turned it’s ugly head to him and snapped threateningly. It’s mucus sprayed obscenely from its jaws. He saw Rey pick herself up and dash behind the rancor while it’s attention was held by him. Kylo swung the pale blade around, making it buzz maliciously. The sound seemed to upset the monster, in lurched after him again with its clawed fingers outstretched and grasping. Kylo sunk the blade deep into the palm of the rancor, and it howled in agony. He rolled away from the cliff and ran back toward Rey who was visibly shaking. If he hadn't exerted himself so completely during their sparring he would have been able to Force push the animal off the cliff...but as he was now it wasn't an option... overstraining yourself while willing the Force was dangerous, could kill you. 'And where would that leave Rey?' He had time to wonder.

The rancor rounded and huffed in rage. It shook its giant skull and charged again, Kylo managed to sidestep it’s outstretched hand and swung his lightsaber out, it cut into the rancor’s flesh, but Rey hadn’t been so lucky. She was exhausted from the long day of physical activity and wasn't fast enough this time. The rancor’s outstretched claws grabbed her, encompassing her torso fully, her lightsaber had been disengaged and her arms were crushed at her sides. The beast roared in triumph and was bringing Rey to it’s hideous mouth. “No!” He shouted, blinded by rage. 

With the little energy he had left he threw up his hand and willed the beast to release her. The rancor roared as though in pain, but Rey remained in its clutches. The rancor swung it’s closed hand trying to snap her neck. He could feel Rey’s distress, the creature was crushing the air from her. He used the Force again, straining hard, he siphoned energy from the near lifeless trees to aid him. His vision was becoming foggy, the pressure in his head was unbearable, but still he willed for Rey to be released. He saw its hand open and Rey fall to the ground in a blur, she was clutching her chest and stumbling away. His crimson lightsaber came back to life in her hands and she swung it up and across the wrist of the monster, the hand that had held her was carved off and the creature howled in agony. 

Kylo fought to hold the rancor still as Rey slashed at it again, this time it’s leg, and it collapsed in a writhing heap. Flailing it’s two uninjured limbs franticly and snapping it’s jaws dangerously close to her. Kylo was drained, he had near nothing left to hold it with. He had to finish it. Now. He stumbled forward, reignited his lightsaber and jumped, somersaulting through the air and landing on the rancor’s thick hide. He plunged his blade into it’s skull and rocked the blade side to side. The creature seized and flailed violently, then was still. 

He could taste iron. He lifted his hand to his face and felt dampness there, when he pulled his fingers away he saw they were coated in crimson blood, it was flowing from his nose and dripping onto the slain carnivore. He shook his head trying to clear his vision and held his hand to his nose in an attempt to staunch the flow. He’d pushed himself too far. There would be consequences, but now his only thoughts were for Rey.

“Rey!” He called out, worried for her. This animal had squeezed her, hard, he had seen how she clutched at her ribs when she fell. Kylo slid ungracefully from the creatures lifeless shoulder. He knew she was there, he could see the glow of the lightsaber he had offered her. But everything was still foggy. He moved forward, and tried to will away the fog, but the resulting haze was only a minor improvement. “Rey, are you hurt?” his vision was beginning to clear and blink into focus as he caught his breath. It was dark now.

“I don’t know.” She answered hesitantly. He could see her staring past him at the animal they had just killed, and he could feel her revulsion and uncertainty. He felt the conflict in her that he had felt so strongly this morning and as if his head had been plunged into icy water, the fog was gone. He realized with a jolt that she still hadn't deactivated the lightsaber, and his stomach turned over, dreading the implications. She looked as though she was contemplating running. He immediately forgot about the blood that was running down his face.

“Hand me the lightsaber, Rey.” His voice was sober. He could see she was shaking, and her eyes darted between him, the blade, and the forested mountain around them. “You don’t want to do this.” He told her quietly. Speaking to her with as much empathy as he could muster. He was painfully aware of his pounding heart. It was silent except for the splatter of blood on the soil and their heavy breathing.

“I don’t-” She fixed her eyes on him, and a tear stole across her cheek.

“You have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide if another of these beasts comes after you.” He wasn’t prepared to chase her, to kill her. ‘Please.’ He didn’t have the strength left. Kylo took a step closer, he was pleading with her now. “Don’t make me hurt you, please… I admit, I can’t stop you leaving now, but if you run...“ He swallowed hard and shook his head, banishing the image of him impaling her with his lightsaber, of her lying lifeless in his bloodstained hands. The thought of her light being sucked from her and into the Force was unbearable. “If you go, in the morning, I will be forced to hunt you down and there will be no mercy when I find you.” He extended his hand, silently asking for her to return the blade. “Don’t throw your life away, hand me the lightsaber.”

She was silent.

“Rey, you belong with me. You feel it too.” He growled, desperate. 

“I’m scared.” She gasped, and she switched off the blade and dropped it with a clatter. Kylo quickly summoned the blade and hooked it to his belt, he was angry. She collapsed, and she felt hollow to him now. It unnerved him and his sudden flare of anger with himself ebbed away. He approached her and sought her out with the Force and found her, she was unfamiliar. He felt along her mind, prodding slightly to discover what was going on in her head and to check if she was injured. He found a lot of hurt, but mostly it was not of the emotional variety. The faces of his father, his uncle, his mother, and the deserter FN-2187...Finn, appeared as ghosts in her mind, and he recoiled as though burned. His anger evaporated and some strength returned to him.

He looked back at the dead rancor, they couldn’t remain out here, they needed to return to the shuttle. 

“Can you stand?” He asked, taking her elbow in his hand and pulling her up. She stumbled, but remained upright. Kylo summoned his helmet to his hand and replaced it on his head, with his free hand he adjusted the viewer for night vision. They could come back in the morning to collect the staffs. He braced Rey with his arm around her waist and urged her forward in the direction of the ship.

They made slow progress through the trees and across the stream. Rey seemed to have lost the will to live. He sensed nothing from her as they made their way back. When they were a klick away from the shuttle, he set her down on a small boulder and crouched before her. His strength was returning steadily and he willed her to look at him. Her eyelids fluttered open and she gazed at him. Hopelessness. That was what he saw reflected in her eyes. He was asking much from her, he knew, it had been long ago when he was turned to the dark, and he realized that he had forgotten how it felt. He needed to give her something of himself if she was going to turn toward him and forget about escape. He swallowed back his own fear and straightened his shoulders.

“I understand,” He said confidently to her. “I remember how it feels to turn away from all that you have come to know, and then be asked to forsake everything.” She blinked down at him, he didn’t think she believed him. He wouldn't have believed him either, if the shoe were on the other foot. “I know it is too much of me to ask of you, but please trust that I am looking out for you, trust that I understand what is happening, trust that I care.”

Her lip trembled and more tears cascaded down her cheeks. “You killed your father, Ben.” She breathed in horror. 

His back stiffened at her use of his birth name, and the sound of it falling from her lips was fire to his ears. Kylo wasn’t going to correct her, if she wanted to call him Ben... he would let her. Even if there wasn’t much of Ben Solo left. He brought his hands to his helmet and removed it slowly, keeping his head down. When he looked up at her, even in the dim moonlight, he knew she could see the tears that ran down his face. Her light came back to her then, he felt it crash around him. Her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, anything. He brought his hands to her cheeks and wiped away her own tears. “Yes, I did.” he choked out, trying but failing to keep his voice from faltering. His own tears had run tracks through the blood that dried over his face. “When the time is right, I promise you, I will explain why.” He took a steadying breath. “...and when that day comes, I hope you can forgive me.”


	7. Assurance

The man kneeling before her was not Kylo Ren. His eyes shone with tears which had fallen and tracked slowly down his face. His hands had come to rest on her cheeks and he’d wiped away her own defeated tears. He was speaking tenderly to her,she had trouble understanding his words, but the tone registered deep inside her. This wasn’t how a captor spoke to a prisoner, he was telling her something forbidden, and she felt it’s gravity weigh heavily on her chest. He closed his eyes releasing another tear, she felt him reaching out for her. 

His mind was warm, and the change stunned her into action, she knew somehow that this was the real him. Ben Solo, despite the facade, wasn’t the pitch of night that he so desperately projected, but was more alike to the half-light that glowed on the horizon before dawn; and she could feel his torment, his regret, his sincerity, it was suffocating. Her eyes sting anew in the feel of his consciousness, she stooped her head and pressed her forehead against his and brought her own hands up to touch his face. He shuddered beneath her touch.

He’d opened his reddened eyes, and a jagged breath left his lips. She felt the rawness of his nerves and the constricting weight that hung in his chest, threatening to choke the life from him.

She couldn’t abide seeing those around her suffer… and his suffering was the most acute pain she had ever felt within another being. Rey ran her thumb across Ben’s face, wiping away the new tear that had escaped him. A sensation trickled to the forefront of her mind, she had felt it before, and it had frightened her… but he’d told her he felt it too. But feeling this vulnerability was so different than seeing. She had feelings for him that she couldn’t understand, but they were there and they were strong; and she found she did trust him. Wholly. It was a though a veil had risen and she was seeing him clearly for the first time. 

“No one can know.” his mind echoed into her. The glow in him was retreating, being devoured by his darkness once more. The effort of reeling in the light taxed him, and she gasped in empathetic pain.

Rey rocked her head against him in an affirmative. She stole her hands from his face and reached for his mask that lay on the ground at her feet. She wasn’t conflicted anymore, he was an ally, had always been her ally. Rey pulled her head away from him, and presented him with the helmet with steady hands. He took it from her wordlessly and disappeared beneath it. She watched him stand and offer her is hand to help her up; she took it and followed closely.

The shuttle was a welcomed sight to her eyes. Kylo released the loading ramp and followed her up into the ship, closing the loading ramp immediately on his heels while he removed his mask. In the dull glow from the two moons, it had been hard to see anything; but in the light of the ship Rey could see the crusted blood that trailed from his left nostril over his lips and down his chin. He was obviously bothered by it, Kylo started removing blood soaked layers and tossed them into a corner. Rey unbuckled and removed her boots, and placed them neatly by the loading ramp. She was beginning to take note of her own body. It ached everywhere… her ribs especially. She removed her belt and peeled the vest coat away from her form. The rolling of her shoulders as she shrugged it off was uncomfortable. She folded it and placed it with her belt on a chair.

“Go clean yourself off.” He suggested, breaking the silence. Rey thought the offer was polite, but shook her head ‘no’.

“You should go first, I can wait.” She said simply, looking again at the blood on his face. He didn’t seem to want to argue the finer points of common courtesy with her; instead he nodded once and disappeared into the sleeping chamber. Shortly after she heard the sonic washer buzz to life. Rey stood in the center of the lounge not sure of what to do with herself. Rey paced around the lounge, eyes sliding over the collection of holobooks, and finding nothing of particular interest, before settling on the sofa in the lounge. She pulled her disheveled hair from the three buns at the back of her head and combed through the tangles with her fingers while she tried to ignore the crippling ache in her sides. The sonic washer stopped. ‘That was fast,’ she thought. Rey stayed where she sat and stretched her tender arms and flexed her sore legs. 

She wasn’t sure what she had expected when he came back to the lounge to meet her, but it hadn't been him dressed only in a pair of loose fitting pants.

“Your turn.” He said, pointing down the hall. She got up and shuffled past him, not making eye contact. She was marginally surprised when he followed after her. “When you undress, hand me your clothes.” He said unabashed. “I’ll wait outside the door.” A blush crept up her neck as she nodded and closed herself in the refresher. She stripped herself quickly and pressed her finger to the door control, the door swished open and she held her hand out with the clothes, keeping her nude body pressed to the wall so he wouldn’t see her. His large hand reached for the ball of cloth and took it from her. Rey dropped her hand to her side and pressed the button again, the door closed. 

She emptied her bladder, combed through the tangles of her hair once more, and stepped into the sonic washer. The cleaning sequence began and she stood still under the waves. Her mind went silent,and she hardly notices when the cleaning sequence had finished. Rey felt much better as she stepped out of the sonic. She paused before the mirror and took in her appearance. All along her ribs the shadow of a bruise was becoming visible. It made her think of the rancor again; it had tried to eat her. If Kylo hadn't… well, she wasn’t sure what he had done. She attempted to remember the scene. It was all a little fuzzy, the beast had squeezed the air from her when it grabbed her and she hadn't been able to breath. And he had done something to save her. 

A knock at the door drove her back to the present.

“Are you alright?” Kylo’s voice asked, muffled by the door. She must have been lost in her thoughts longer than she thought.

“Yes,” she called back to him, “...only thinking.”

There was no reply. She was being silly standing here in the refresher only looking at herself in the mirror. She pushed the button to open the door and saw that he was sitting on the bed, his bare and scarred back turned to her. Rey told herself that he had seen her naked before, she shouldn’t feel so shy about him seeing her again. Her eyes flicked down to the dark shirt that was folded neatly on the corner of the mattress nearest her. The blush returned to her face as she made her way out of the refresher and snatched up the shirt. She bit down on her lower lip to keep from whimpering in pain from her ribs as she forced her head and arms through their respective holes and pulled the bulk of the fabric down to cover herself, the hem reached her mid-thigh. Like a gentleman, he hadn’t turned to look at her. 

“I’m decent.” She said meekly, awkwardly folding her arms in front of her. He turned to face her and smoothed out the blanket beside him, a clear invitation to sit. She was exhausted and sitting seemed like a nice idea, but she didn’t think she could sit so close to him now, the room already felt warmer and she wasn’t ready to be denied by him again so soon. She sat on the corner of the bed and looked away, and pulled her hair up into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. For a moment all was quiet. Then she felt the mattress move and heard Kylo get up from his spot, heard him walk around to her side of the bed, and felt the mattress dip once more. He was close enough that she could feel the heat coming off of his bare skin.

“Your hair looks nice down.” He complimented. Rey couldn’t help but steal a peek at him, he looked handsome… and a little bruised around the ribs. Though his bruising had been inflicted by herself, not a wild beast. She felt a bubble of satisfaction rise in her chest. She had hit him several times today and she knew it hadn't been because he’d let her. She didn’t know how to answer him though, what were you meant to say to something like ‘Your hair looks nice down’? She froze when his hand came up to the back of her head and untied the knot that she had just used to collect her hair. Her brown shoulder length locks fell down around her face again. His other hand came up and it traced along her jaw and tucked her hair behind her ear. Her breath caught in her chest and her eyes fluttered shut. 

Kylo’s hand ran back down her jaw and gently turned her face towards him, before releasing her and rested his hand on her shoulder. She felt him lean in closer to her, felt the puff of air that had escaped his lungs warm against her face. Her heart pounded wildly and her chest began to burn from lack of air. She managed to inhale quickly, the smell of him assaulted her senses. He smelled like wet earth, a foreign scent to her until recently. Her fingers dug nervously into the blankets.

“Would you look at me please?” He asked kindly. Rey couldn’t imagine denying him, so her eyes snapped open. He was close to her. Rey watched transfixed as his free hand took hers and pulled it over to his lap, and pressed her small palm firmly against his arousal. She sighed in surprise and he kept his hand over hers. “Look what you’ve done to me.” His voice was strained. She knew he didn’t just mean… this. Not just the physical effect on his body, but Rey found she couldn’t speak. She was too wrapped up in the feel of him. He was hard and throbbing beneath her touch. His hand squeezed encouragingly over her own. He groaned in frustration when she moved her palm slowly against him, the sound set her blood aflame. “Rey,” She tore her eyes from what he was making her do and looked into his face. He pulled her closer and presses his lips hesitantly against hers. Rey melted into him, suddenly boneless. Emboldened by her response, the kiss deepened and became overwhelming. She couldn’t breath. He broke their kiss for air and ground himself hard against her palm. “I want you.” 

His words sent her body into a lust filled frenzy. She became painfully aware of the dampness that was pooling between her thighs and the ache coiling deep in her womb. Kylo pulled her back to him, catching her lips with his own. His mouth was firm and demanding and she was getting drunk on the feel of them moving against her. He released her hand and gently urged her to scoot backwards to the center of the bed. She did, with what grace she could muster… which was little. She pulled away from the kiss and traced her hands down his abs, they tensed at her touch. He pressed her chest firmly and she sank down on the mattress and the sudden increase of endorphins eased the throb of her ribs. His bare hand slipped along the outside of her right thigh and glided over her knee, he applied pressure and encouraged her to part her legs, pressing her leg down against the mattress. He moved over her and cradled his hips between her thighs. 

The weight of him was mildly satisfying the ache she felt at the juncture of her thighs; but then he rocked his hips forward to meet hers and a soft moan escaped her lips. The sensation was bliss. She felt his body tremble against hers in response. He rocked his hips forward again, harder this time.

“Yes!” she sighed desperately. Sweeping her fingers through his hair and lifting her hips to move against him.

Rey’s hands slid down his shoulders, along his ribs and the gentle slope of his waist,; emboldened by his response, she sank her fingers under the waistband, and tried to push the offending article down. She didn’t make much progress, it was difficult when his hips were moving lazily against hers, and she was slowly losing her mind with need. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and began laying adoring kisses there as one hand glided up under her shirt and drew circles over her hip. She moaned encouragingly. His hand slid further up her side, and without meaning to, she recoiled violently with a gasp of pain. 

He tore away from her so quickly she wasn’t sure if he had ever been pressed against her. His brown eyes traveled to the hem of her shirt and she felt anger welling up inside him. He sat back on his heels and reached out to pull her shirt away. She reached out and clutched his wrist, stopping him. She didn’t want him to see what the rancor had done to her. She wanted him to come back to her, to keep kissing her neck. But she knew that wouldn’t happen. Kylo looked down at her and all the warmth that his eyes had held moments before was fading. He shook her hand from his wrist and pulled the shirt up to look at her properly.

“You told me you weren’t hurt.” He said angrily; his eyes met hers accusingly. Rey looked down at her ribs, the bruise had darkened considerably. She didn’t meet his eyes, choosing to turn her head to the side and become enthralled by the pillows. He was running his palms gently across her ribs, it hurt but she wasn’t going to let him see her flinch again. After a moment, his hand retreated to her hips and he spoke to her again. “Rey.” He sounded sad.

“Mmmnh.” It was all she could voice, she didn’t want to talk about the attack.

He sounded exasperated, “You should have said-”

“I didn’t know I was hurt this badly until I washed.” She bit out, resentfully but truthfully.

“I’m sorry.” He said simply. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

They held each other's gaze for a moment. “I know.” Rey answered quietly. She couldn’t ignore the aching between her legs for much longer. She took his hands in her own and dragged them up her stomach and rested them on the swell of her breasts. “Come back.” she whispered, arching her back. His chest rumbled and he took her hips in his large hands and pulled her into his lap. He pulled the shirt up over her breasts and took one of her nipples into his mouth, it’s twin was quickly covered by his palm. With his spare hand he reached between them and swept his finger over her sex and dipped into her wetness. Rey let out a satisfied sigh as he dragged his finger up along her folds and over her sensitive glans where he began rubbing gentle circles into her. Rey tensed and arched into his touch. It was electrifying. She felt the appreciative groan that escaped him against her breast and she felt his hardness straining against her low back. “Want you- now.” Rey whimpered between stollen gasps. 

He pulled back from her, she hissed at the sudden lack of stimulation from his hand, and he enthusiastically pulled her shirt up and over her head and arms, before throwing the shirt to the floor. He tore the pants from his legs kicking them off the side of the mattress to join the abandoned shirt. 

~)o(~

 

He had become angry with himself when he’d discovered she was injured, he had felt along her ribs and suspected that a few were fractured, but thankfully not broken. He blamed himself for her injury. He had been so relieved, had felt so free when they sparred. He hadn’t been able to push himself that hard since he had left his knights after the order from Supreme Leader to take up the commanding position aboard the Finalizer. He had been aching for a challenge, and when she struck him hard across the chest and knocked the wind from his lungs he had finally felt alive; he could remember how his blood boiled and fueled his attacks. He’d enjoyed the experience so much that the day had dragged on much faster than he had realized. And it had been Rey who paid for his lapse in mindfulness. Judging by the way she was watching him, with flushed cheeks and quivering limbs, he decided that she had forgiven him.

The sight of her laid out before him was incredible and he took a moment to drink the image of her in. He wanted to commit every curve to his memory. Wanted to remember the sound of her pleased gasps as he pulled her into his lap and touched her like this. The quiet thudding of her pounding heart in her chest, the taste of her on his tongue. She was arching into his touch and it drove him out of his mind with a need for her too strong to contain. He sought to relieve some of his wonderful discomfort by pressing his hips up against her back. She was strong, smart… and heartbreakingly beautiful in his eyes, though he would never tell her that. He broke when he heard her sweet whimper of ‘Want you-now’. He needed to be closer to her but first he had to pull away. She didn’t like it when he did, he could feel and hear her hiss of disappointment. She would simply have to wait for a moment while he liberated their bodies of clothing.

Kylo quickly pulled the shirt from her and threw it, he didn’t know where, and his pants were similarly forgotten. When he turned back to her his heart skipped. In the short amount of time that he had undressed them, her fingers had found themselves stroking slowly along her wet center. While seeing her like that, with her eyes hooded and scanning the expanse of his chest, was a beautiful and intoxicating vision, it would have to be explored another day. Right now he needed her and the idea of her being so bold was doing things to him that he had never experienced before. His erection was throbbing with want and weeping clear pre-ejaculate. He took the wrist of her busy hand and pulled it away from her center. She whimpered, and he came to lean over her once more. “That’s for me to do.” He told her seriously. He pulled her fingers to his lips and gently took them into his mouth, tasting her. She sucked in her breath and tried to pull her hand away from him, embarrassed, but he wasn’t having any of it. He increased his grip, thinking it contradictory that she should feel comfortable to masurbate infront of him, but get squeamish when he took her bold glistening fingers into his mouth.

By way of distracting her, he picked up where they had left off. He gently circled the pad of his thumb over her clitoris. She moaned and threw her head back against the mattress and rocked her hips into his touch. He could feel the small contractions of her core as he teased her. Kylo pulled her fingers from his mouth and released her hand, it dropped boneless to her chest. “Turn around.” He told her, but she only whimpered and rocked her hips into his touch again. She couldn’t hear him. He pulled his hand away and took her hips, flipping her small frame around and pulling her hips back to meet his own. She was bent over on her knees with his erection rubbing along her thighs. He could feel she was embarrassed, could see the pink flush of her skin, she was looking at him uncomfortably over her shoulder. He gripped her hips hard and wedged his knee between her thighs, spreading them, and positioned himself at her core. The wet warmth of her made him feel weak, and his mind cleared of all thoughts but the feel of her beneath him. His right hand slid along the curve of her hip and along her flat abdomen, his fingers found her glans again and they swirled languishly over it, eliciting a cry from her, embarrassment forgotten. He could feel her legs shaking, and he was overcome by the desire to make her beg. “Tell me what you want.” He instructed her as he glided his hips forward slightly, sheathing his tip inside her. She whimpered and tried to push her pelvis back onto him but he held her still. 

“Ask for it, or we are done here.” Kylo lied in a commanding tone, and he stilled his fingers against her heated flesh. 

“Please.” was her breathless plea. 

“Please?” he encouraged, and he stroked her once as a reminder of what she was missing every second she delayed.

“I need you. Inside. Please.” Rey whimpered, before she buried her face in the blankets in humiliation. 

He decided that would do and thrust his hips forward and slid smoothly into her tight heat. They both groaned in satisfaction. Her walls clamped hard around him and he began rocking into her slowly while continuing his earlier torture on her swollen clitoris. She was mumbling incoherently into the bed and arching her back, which made him slide deeper within her, and he crashed hard against her cervix. She yelped under him… it was too hard, he pulled back a little. It was with masculine pride, that he realized he was a little large for her. He needed to hold back, at least for a while longer. He rocked his hips against her carefully now. And he thought maybe this was for the best, Rey had him wound so tightly before he’d entered her that he knew he wouldn’t last long at his prefered pace; he was already climbing to his peak. Rey wasn’t cooperating with him though, she bucked back against him desperately. He didn’t want to cum before her but if she kept this up he wouldn’t have a say in the matter. He thrust against her harder and faster to appease her, but the tension inside him was building quickly. 

“Rey, I won’t last long like this.” He warned her. 

She either didn’t hear him, or she didn’t care; he suspected the latter. If anything she rocked back to meet his thrusts with even more determination. Gasps of pleasure falling from her parted lips. Kylo’s ears were easing their way toward deafness, and his mind had consolidated its focus on only the feel of her tightness and warmth around him. How it felt to slip from and then plunge firmly back into her again. Rey moaned and ground her hips back against him. The movement made him knock against her cervix again, but she didn’t seem to mind now. The firm resistance of her uterine entrance was all he could feel now, it was all he wanted. His grip tightened on her hip, and his attention to her glans wavered. 

He thrust harder now, seeking with single minded determination toward his inevitable brink. The tension in him was building beyond tolerance. He was distantly aware of Rey’s cries of pleasure and her hands twisting in the sheets. He abandoned her clitoris completely and gripped her hips, pulling her back against him. He felt her walls clench around him. He was almost there. He pulled back and slammed into her again, pressing hard. Once more, that’s all he needed. He was shaking. Once more, and then bliss. He held his breath, the deprivation increased the sensation of her around him. Tight, slick, hot. He gasped, drawing himself back, and slamming his hips forward against hers furiously. Everything tensed, contracted, and he was pumping his release into her. His grip on her hips tightened, pulling her back against him and a cry of relief tore from his throat; he pressed hard and deep within her as he felt his body continued to convulse violently, pressing into her harder with every pulse. He slumped against her, spent.

His hearing was floating back to him, and he became aware of Rey’s breathy sighs and trembling body beneath him once more. He slipped out of her, regretting the loss of her heat and rolled over on his back beside her. Rey was panting and shaking on all fours. He turned his head to watch her. He enjoyed the way her breasts hung heavy from her chest, the shape of her parted lips, the way her hair hung in a mess about her face and back, and the gentle curve of her back as it met her pelvis. He knew she hadn’t finished, but had been very close. He couldn’t leave her like this. Wanting. With a gentle touch, he took her wrist and pulled her over to him. “Come here.” he said and gave a lazy pat at his chest. Rey blushed wildly and shook her head ‘no’. “I want to taste you.” he said firmly and he gave her wrist a small tug of encouragement. With weak limbs and an expression of deepest humiliation she straddled his chest. “Closer.” He pushed her towards his face, his chest was slicked with their combined fluids as they dripped from her. The sight was satisfying and only served to make him more eager. He pulled his shoulders one at a time under her thighs and held her before him. He pressed her toward his mouth and rubbed the tip of his nose against her glans teasingly. She stilled in his hands, and he rewarded her for her cooperation with an open mouthed kiss. Rey cried out and grasped for the headboard to brace herself. He decided immediately that he liked her tangy flavor combined with his saltiness. 

Rey was quivering over him, and he was glad that he had braced her hips with his hands so that she wouldn’t smother him. He lapped eagerly against her, sliding the flat of his tongue firmly and istantly against her clitoris. With every breathy sigh against her wetness she shuddered and with each dip of his tongue she moaned in reckless abandon. Rey begun to sway her hips against his tongue in short and concentrated movements. Kylo felt that she wanted more. He slipped one hand from her hip and slid his thumb into her, sinking it knuckle deep. He knew she was about to break, and he wanted to share her bliss with her. Her hips jerked forward in stiff undulating movements. He reached out to her with his mind and wrapped himself around her consciousness. Rey’s face split into a tortured grimace and he heard her suck in a gulp of air, felt her thighs tense and her hips jerk forward unsteadily. She was close… any moment. He groaned encouragingly against her, she hung her head with her eyes closed tight. There was another jerk of her hips. He increased the swirling pressure against her glans and held her more firmly, rubbing the pad of his thumb against her inner walls and in an instant he felt her convulse rhythmically, she opened her mouth in a silent scream. He sighed hot against her in satisfaction, feeling the elation that burst through her veins. Felt her muscles contract around his thumb. She tensed, breathing hard and erratically, eyes closed and lips slack. He lapped at her gently with measured strokes as she rode out the waves of her orgasm. The broken sob that left her chest left him feeling weak, in awe. Seeing her come undone was the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed.

When she relaxed, he released his hold on her and Rey, with trembling limbs, climbed from his chest and crashed to the disturbed blankets by his side. Kylo was pleased with the sense of complete satisfaction that rolled off of her. He felt sated. At least for now. He rolled to his side and pulled her against him, wrapping an arm gently around her waist and splaying his hand over her flat stomach. He pressed his nose into her loose hair and breathed her in. 

“So much for washing.” Rey commented breathlessly. He only pulled her tighter against himself at her teasing and silence stretched comfortably between them. Eventually she began to wriggle in his arms.

“I need to pee.” She announced sardonically. He reluctantly released her and she slid from the bed, picking up her discarded shirt as she retreated into the refresher. After a moment he heard the sonic washer switch on. But more importantly, he heard a subtle beeping coming from the holodesk in the corner. He rolled quickly off the bed and hurriedly pulled his pants on, and wiped the tackiness from his chest with the sheet. It was an incoming message. R9 must have found something useful to do and repaired the subspace antenna this afternoon. Kylo ran his fingers through his hair and pressed the acceptance button. A miniature likeness of General Hux sprang to life. His face had turned from professional neutrality to a questioning sneer as he took in Kylo’s… less than professional attire.

“I’ve caught you at a bad time?” Hux’s voice came from the speaker.

“What is it you need, General?” Kylo asked, ignoring Hux’s imprudent question.

“Only to inform you that we will not be capable of collecting you at the prearranged time.” Hux, it would seem was going to make Kylo ask for further information.

“When, then?” Kylo asked, his patience thinning.

The General put on an act of counting in his head. “Fourteen standard rotations.” The General informed him in an unpleasant clip.

“That won’t be a problem. If that is all, General?” Kylo replied, wanting to be rid of the irritant. The General was killing his post orgasmic high.

Hux eyed him with open dislike. “No.”

“What else?” He asked in veiled agitation.

“The Supreme Leader wishes an audience with you, be prepared for his call tomorrow.”

Kylo nodded his understanding, “Then I bid you good evening.” Kylo said in closing.

Hux nodded once and then the transmission ended.


	8. Accusation

He was startled awake by a cold prod at his side. R9 chirped at him quietly and rolled backwards toward the cockpit. Kylo understood... there was a transmission for him. He would have to take the transmission in the adjoining room, using the emergency subspace transmitter. He quickly and quietly got to his feet and ran his hand through his hair and straightened his tunic while walking away from the droid. “Thank you R9. You can power down.” The yellow and white astromech beeped a reply and made it’s way back to the cockpit.

Kylo ducked into the second, smaller room. It was a repurposed sleeping quarter, made to function as a conference room. He took the time he dared to compose himself mentally. Snoke couldn’t know about the rancor incident... and Rey’s near desertion. Not after he’d assured the Supreme Leader that she was theirs and secured his permission to take Rey away from the Finalizer. The allowance had been granted, in part due to the General’s dislike for the girl, he knew; but it had mostly been his own desires that convinced Snoke. He pushed aside his weaknesses and took to his knees before answering the transmission, bending his head before the glowing image of his master. “Supreme Leader.” He addressed the hologram respectfully.

The image of the old man crackled into life, the audio and hologram hisses and swam in and out of focus. Kylo had known this man his entire adult life and yet the frail form of his master had not changed. He was still a deceptively powerful Force-sensitive individual, disguised as a sickly, shriveled old man.

“I trust I find you well.” Snoke said in an uncharacteristically soft, but uncaring tone that was deeply unsettling to Kylo.

“Yes, Master.” Kylo answered, bowing his head. “I apologize for keeping you waiting and for the poor quality of this transmission, I did not expect an audience until this evening. Our subspace antenna and hyperwave scanner were damaged during our flight.”

“I see.” Snoke answered, dangerously. “Where is your apprentice?”

“She is sleeping.” Kylo answered, carefully.

“General Hux, blames the girl’s presence aboard the Finalizer for instigating the bold and ill advised attack on our flagship.” Snoke said wearily. Kylo knew that he was expected to give an explanation.

“As I informed the General, upon his expression of unease weeks ago, she has been unable to contact Skywalker since she has fallen into my hands; I have monitored her closely and thwarted all her attempts. The Resistance was not aided by the girl.”

Snoke blinked patiently at Kylo. “She tries to contact Skywalker… still?”

“Not for weeks now.” Kylo lied. She had, in truth, attempted to contact his uncle every day.

Snoke weighed his apprentices reply, and accepted it. “I have dealt with the General. He will from this point forward be uninvolved in this matter. The Resistance was sure to press an attack regardless of the girl’s involvement. Our losses were minimal.”

Kylo felt it was best to remain silent.

“What is there to be said of the girl?” The sickened old man demanded pointedly.

Kylo suppressed the displeasure of reporting on her subjugation and unrelenting asphyxiation of her light. He took half a moment to collect himself, and replied cautiously. “Rey progresses with great promise. She has... acquiesced to my training.” Then added, “With each day she is drawn nearer the darkness and becomes stronger.” This was at least partially truth.

“Good.” Snoke’s singular reply stretched out lazily. The hologram shifted in its throne and a silence blanketed the air. Kylo’s attention briefly flitted to the injured girl sleeping only a room away. “I wish to see your face, Kylo Ren.” Snoke commanded abruptly. The demand immediately drew him from his stray thoughts of Rey.

Kylo lifted his head at once and looked into the virtual eyes of his master. Snoke’s expression had always been challenging to read, especially so when viewed as a hologram. But in this moment, they shown with victory, greed. He knew only too well that the same may hold true for his master’s ability in reading him, his distraction with Rey made his mask falter.

“I sense you have formed a strong attachment to her…” The words felt like a trap and hung dangerously around him.

“She is engaging and capable.” Kylo offered, burying his true feelings so deep within himself that he forgot how much she meant to him.

Snoke admonished. “You cannot disguise your feelings for her, my knight. She means more to you than an apprentice.”

“I have shown her affection,” Kylo admitted. “I would not deny my pleasure in doing so.”

“Does she harbor the same desire for you?” He asked Kylo dryly.

“The ardor is returned, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke nodded and Kylo sensed that his master understood what had happened. The disfigured face scowled. “Be mindful, my apprentice, not to be blinded by your affection for the girl.”

“I won’t be blinded, master. I will bring her to you as your faithful servant, or as a corpse.” Kylo bit his cheek in an effort to control his words. “She is of no use to the First Order if she cannot be used as a weapon. My attraction toward her is of no consequence.”

“Then we understand each other...” Snoke stated, “And you are wiser than your grandfather in this.”

“I am pleased to hear you say so.” Kylo replied.

“I will give you two weeks, Kylo Ren, to transform her into something useful.”

“That will be more than adequate, Supreme Leader.”

“Before you return to us… I have a matter that must be seen to. ” Snoke added.

“You can attend to it en-route… and if the girl has remained in your confidence, it will serve as a warning and a gauge for her aptitude.”

“What would you have me do?” Kylo prompted.

“We have located Shon Ren.” A shiver of excitement ran down Kylo’s spine at the mention of the deserter. “I would have you bring me his head.”

“It will be done.” Kylo agreed, perhaps too enthusiastically.

Snoke looked pleased and sat straighter in his throne. “I’ll leave you to your training… have your astromech see to repairing your hyperwave scanner. I will relay the information we have gathered, so you can prepare yourself.”

“I will. Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

The transmission ended abruptly.

‘Shon Ren.’ He thought bitterly. ‘You should have hidden yourself more effectively.’

Kylo began to allow himself to feel the rage and disgust at the thought of the Knights’ trespasses. Shon, along with the others knights were power drunk, corrupted filth, that knew nothing of the true Dark Side. He got back to his feet and stood for a moment, thinking. If Rey was going to come with him to hunt the deserter, she would need more practice with the Force… to keep her safe. Shon wasn’t a man to be trifled with… he was dangerous.

Kylo left the secondary room.

R9 was tucked away on low power in the corner of the cockpit and Rey was still soundly asleep in the cabin. He hadn’t restrained her to the bed last night, it no longer felt necessary, and he had taken to the sofa for sleep. Half out of a desire to distance himself from her before an audience with Snoke and half out of a desire not to disturb her as he had the previous night. Kylo briefly considered leaving the ship to dispose of the rancor corpse and to collect the electrostaffs, but he didn’t want to risk Rey waking alone. He didn’t trust her that well yet. After a moment, Kylo made his way to the galley and prepared breakfast, he hadn’t eaten since the morning before, he realized. He ate quickly and then went to wake Rey, she had slept long enough and there was work to be done.

She was sprawled on the bed with her hair fanned out in a mess about the pillow and her face. Kylo stood at the foot of the bed and called quietly to her. “Rey.”

She woke with a start, sat up quickly, gasped in pain, then hunched forward clutching helplessly at her sides. ‘Look what I let that beast do to you.’ His thoughts were self depreciative. He could feel her pain pulse violently towards him. “I should take another look at you.” He told her as he made his way to her side and sat, placing the food he had brought her on the small table that jutted from the wall.

She wasn’t listening to him, too caught up in her discomfort, so Kylo reached out for her shoulder and eased her back slightly. “Let me see.” When he fingered the hem of her tunic she didn’t protest. He pulled it gingerly up over her torso revealing swollen inky blotches along both her sides.

“It’s bad?” Rey asked, with her head thrown back and eyes screwed shut.

“It’s not good.” Kylo assessed calmly. She hissed in discomfort and flinched away from his palm when he laid it against the ugly bruise. “I’m certain it fractured your ribs.”

“It hurts to breathe.” Rey huffed with a shallow breath.

Knowing how it felt to have cracked ribs, Kylo was sure it did. He removed his hand from her side. She wouldn’t be able to do any physical training until she healed. The situation was less than desirable. Without access to a Bacta tank, he would have to use the Force. It was less effective… and tricky.

“I could speed your recovery with the Force.” He told her. “If you would allow me.”

“You can do that?” Rey asked, disbelieving. 

Kylo nodded once, half in agreement half in indignation, and beckoned her nearer. “Come sit on the edge of the bed.” He got off the bed and kneeled on the floor. Rey twisted around with a wince and small gasp and scooted to the edge of the mattress, sitting with her legs draped over the side in front of him. He pulled her shirt gingerly from her and lay the fabric by her side, then traced his calloused fingers along her ribs with a gentleness he showed nothing and no one else.

‘Come into my mind and I will show you what to do.’ Kylo instructed her.

He could feel the curious threads of Rey’s consciousness wrap around him and he allowed her in. He felt her light flooding into him, and also her pain. He would use her own pain to aide him.

He placed his hands over her bruised sides and began to bring his focus to the flesh that encompassed the injured ribs. He felt out for her swollen muscles, broken veins, and cracked bones, and became singularly aware of them. He touched the Force and willed the strength of it to swirl around her brokenness. He allowed his feelings of attachment for her fill him. Allowed her sharp pain to consume him and welcomed the darkness into him, the Force pulled him into its infiniteness, and filled him with strength. He urged the Force through himself and into Rey. 

He willed for her to be whole again, willed her injured ribs to knit back together, willed her veins restored, willed for the purple stains that stretched across her body to fade away into her tan flesh. He felt his hands become warm and was distantly aware of Rey’s discomfort but also fascination. He maintained his focus, willed for her to be whole, for her ribs to mend, for her blotched skin to fade while he slowly stroked along her sides. When he pulled away from her his breathing was unsteady and sweat had beaded on his brow. He looked at his work. Her bruised flesh had faded into an ugly shade of green, it looked much better.

“How does it feel?” He questioned, seeing her give a tentative twist of her body and taking a deep breath.

“Itchy.” Rey admitted quietly, while she prodded at the green blemish on her side. “It’s much better. Thank you.” Her mind slipped from his but her eyes lingered on his face.

Kylo swallowed, “You’re welcome-” Rey’s features had turned concerned. “What’s wrong?” 

“You’re bleeding.” She said, reaching out toward his face.

He felt it then, the trickle of blood making it’s way from his sinuses, down over his lip.

“It’s nothing.” He told her, pressing his palm against his nostril, stopping the blood from dripping to the floor. “I overextended my limits with the Force last night, I need to regain my strength… the symptoms will pass.”

“You’re sure?” She asked. His heart felt warm… she was genuinely concerned for him.

“Yes.” He lifted his chin, indicating her food. “Eat, while I clean up.” He started for the refresher.

“Overexerted. I thought influencing the minds of beasts would be simpler than people.” Rey wondered aloud.

“It isn’t intelligence that dictates the strength of one’s mind, but the creatures will… and that rancor was singularly set on eating you.”

…

Her mind was teeming with curiosity, it prickled at his senses and quickly became distracting.

‘Empty your mind of questions and focus.’ He scolded her. He felt her mentally recoil at his words.

“I’m sorry.” She replied, confused.

Her mind quieted, but it wasn't long before her bristling consciousness continued to grate upon his nerves again. Kylo sighed in defeat and he pulled himself from the darkness to look at her. She had arranged herself identically to him, although she held her bottom lip between her teeth.

‘I’ll never have peace like this.’ He thought. ‘She thinks too loud.’ He couldn’t be sure if this was actually the case. He could simply be more aware of her than others.

“If I answer your questions, will you be able to focus?” he asked.

“It might help.”

“Ask, then.”

“Why did you leave?” His expression must have taken some of her courage because she looked away. “Your family loved you… loves you still.”

He despised his answer. “I was sent away.”

Rey must have felt his loathing because she became quiet and looked into her lap. “I confess, I didn’t ask Luke about you… and he told me little and less.” She managed, before trailing off, and training her eyes on him again. 

“My mother and… father.” He started, but faltered.

“Yes?” Rey encouraged.

“They didn’t understand. They were afraid.”

“But Luke has the Force… your mother has it too, I’ve felt it.”

“I wasn’t the same.” He said, oversimplifying. Rey was looking at him encouragingly. “I had a temper.”

“...and you don’t now?” Rey asked in jest.

He smiled despite himself. “It was worse when I was young.” He relaxed and leaned back against the sofa, remembering his childhood outbursts, one stood out vividly. It was the one that broke his parents, the one that made them decide he was too much. “I had a dog, growing up. She was a sweet thing, really… followed me everywhere. She liked to play fetch.” Rey’s expression softened, and he knew she was imagining him as a young child throwing sticks for an enthusiastic animal. “She died, of course. They aren’t long lived creatures, but even so, she died before her time.”

“What happened?”

“She got sick...and there was nothing to be done but make her comfortable. She died in my arms.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kylo nodded. “When I felt her slip away, back into the Force… I lost control. I didn’t know how to process my emotions… how to contain them. I destroyed my bedroom. I didn’t mean to… it just happened. One moment everything was normal and the next nearly all of my things had been twisted, broken.”

“And that’s when they sent you away?”

“I realize now, of course, that they thought that my uncle could help me.”

“But he didn’t?”

“He… tried.” Rey had relaxed against the sofa now as well, and watched him with rapt attention. “Luke didn’t know what to do with me. I was willful, too bright for my own good, and more often than not, drew strength from the dark side.” 

“And what made you decide you couldn’t be a Jedi? When did you decide to leave?”

“I was fifteen when I first heard his voice…” Kylo explained, “it took years; years to believe that Snoke didn’t want to change me, but wanted to help me.”

“What did he tell you?”

“That he knew my grandfather… that I could be so much more.”

“But-”

“Darth Vader shouldn’t be a role model?” Kylo cut her off, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “I didn’t want to be like my grandfather. I wanted to be free.”

“...you don’t look free to me.”

“I didn’t say that I got what I wanted.” She looked up at him. “Snoke offered me the opportunity to stretch my wings, to learn about the Force without stigma or revulsion, without judgment.”

“Luke judged you?”

“Luke was busy orchestrating the training of dozens of force-sensitives. He meant well, but didn’t have the time for me. He didn’t realize that I was slowly slipping away until I was gone.”

Rey sat quietly, but her mind was swimming with still more questions. He needed time to think on how much he could tell her safely… he already felt vulnerable after talking about his childhood pet. Perhaps now would be a good time to collect the staffs and dispose of the rancor. Alone.

He got to his feet, earning a confused look from Rey.

“Where are you going?” She protested, and began to get up.

Kylo shook his head slowly. “Stay here, empty your mind. I am going to collect our electrostaffs and dispose of the rancor. When I return, we will practice restraining objects and opponents with the Force, and you can ask me more questions.

He pulled on his boots and snatched up his helmet, and with one last look at her he was gone down the loading ramp.

~)o(~

Emptying her mind wasn’t any easier without him sitting next to her. This morning had birthed many questions about him, but answered few. She wanted to know him, understand why he’d done the things that he had. He had mentioned the beginning of his path toward the darkness, and she wanted to know more. She knew he had slaughtered his fellow students on Yavin 4, knew that he had murdered his father; but she wanted to understand him, his side of the story, his motivations, how he’d been turned away from Master Skywalker… what had been the catalyst for his betrayal? She was losing her focus again. She practiced her breathing technique to calm her tumultuous mind.

When calm had been restored she reached out into the Force and lost herself to it.

There was a tug on her. It was familiar, warm and gentle and kind. Rey fought to meet the tugging sensation, she ran along the tiny connection and found herself again at the chasm she’d discovered over a month previously. She was overjoyed at having found it again.

Across the void she could sense him, Master Luke had found her. Rey opened her mind and called out to him.

Elation. Luke’s consciousness swam out to meet her own and it felt like a warm embrace. She had forgotten how bright he was, it was blinding.

“Rey, I’m relieved to find you in one piece.” He told her. “We feared the worst.”

“Ben prevented me from contacting you.” Rey explained, hurriedly. “I’m sorry, I reached out for you everyday.” Rey grew silent for a moment, remembering where she was, everything that had happened, who she was here with. “...and I fear I have failed you Master.”

“You’re alive. How could you have failed me?” Luke humored her.

“I’ve, Ben and I, we’ve…” she trailed off, too ashamed in the face of her Master, to name what she had done willingly, gladly, she herself had instigated the whole affair. “We.”

Luke was quite a long moment before speaking and Rey knew that he understood what had happened. “I see.” Luke’s demeanor changed, Rey could feel his chagrin at her admission. “Did Ben hurt you?”

Rey flushed then stammered with deep embarrassment. “No. No it wasn’t anything like that.”

She could clearly picture his intense, bright blue eyes and how she was sure they shone with worry.

Rey broke the silence. “I feel a strong attachment to him that I can’t explain.”

“You’ve found compassion for him,” Luke suggested. “Or is it something more?”

“I...I don’t know what it is that I feel. He’s different, somehow.”

“Perhaps he is not as lost as I thought.”

“He’s restless. He…”

“Yes?” Luke encouraged.

“I want to stay.”

Luke’s abrupt hopefulness blanketed her and the sensation was confusing.

“The General will be pleased to know that.” Luke’s mind was contemplative.

Rey was taken aback by Luke’s words. “You’re not, upset? I thought attachment was forbidden by the Jedi. In the history-”

“Vows of chastity were taken by the Jedi Knights of the old Republic, but that was a relatively new idea. The council thought that marriage or family could cause one to turn to the dark side out of a desire to protect them. It wasn’t always so. Originally, Jedi were encouraged to begin families and to pursue love with openness of mind.”

Rey was surprised by this. “And do you believe that love will drive one to the dark side?”

“It unfortunately drove my father to the darkness, though I believe that it was the secrecy that shrouded the affair that catalyzed the events surrounding the rise of Darth Vader. But love was also what brought him back to the light.”

This made Rey think if Ben, he was shrouded in secrecy also. “He’s different somehow, Ben isn’t the same man I met those months ago.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling Luke this.

Luke’s interest in her words rippled excitedly from him. “Different. How exactly?” He sounded hopeful. “What could my nephew have done to gain your trust so wholey?”

Rey was about to answer when she remembered his face in the moonlight, silent tears streaming down his face. The moment had been personal, intimate, it wasn’t meant to be shared. Rey hoped that Master Luke… no, Luke. He was no longer her Master, would understand.

“I’m sorry, I can’t explain.” Rey replied quietly. It was only a matter of time before Kylo would find out she had spoken to Luke and then only a moment more to find if she had been loyal; this whole conversation would determine if he would ever trust her again. But trust aside, she wanted to keep his secret.

“You can’t or you won’t?” Luke’s question wasn't angry or hurt, but one full of understanding.

“I won’t.” Rey answered firmly.

She felt that he harbored no resentment for her answer. She could almost see his reluctant smile. He seemed unusually happy for a Jedi who had just lost their padawan to a Sith Lord… this was a facet of Luke’s personality she hadn’t experienced… expected.

“Should the Resistance continue its search for you? Are you safe?” He asked seriously.

“No, don’t come looking for us. I can feel the Force pulling me to him, I have to stay.” She said, “I’m safe.”

“I will convince my sister to call back the search droids.” Luke promised.

“You aren’t disappointed?” It was half a question, half a statement.

“If what you have said is true, and I believe it is, then there is more hope in this universe than I had thought. I could not be disappointed with you, Rey.” He informed her comfortingly. “The life of a Jedi is road few have traveled; know that we remain friends regardless of the path you choose.”

Rey shared her gratitude with him. Not only for his teachings, but also for his kind words of understanding and friendship.

She felt as though he was fading.

“My nephew appears to have found me out.” Luke said grimly.

“Be safe.” Rey wished him, she knew this could be the last time she would speak to him.

“I am confident we will see each other again.” Luke said as though he had heard her thoughts. “May the Force be with you, Rey.”

“May the Force be with you.” She echoed.

He vanished.

Just as quickly as Luke’s warmth disappeared so Kylo’s anger grew and pulsed through her. She knew he was coming back to her, could tell he was running, and he was furious.

He felt dangerous.

In a few short minutes he had returned, and found her sitting openly, calmly on the sofa. A complete vision of contrast from his unbridled fury.

~)o(~

“What have you done?” He demanded, trembling with poorly contained rage.

“I’ve done nothing wrong.” She sank back into the sofa defensively. Kylo felt her fear of him seep from her halfhearted guard. He slammed his fist into the loading ramp control button and the ramp closed behind him. He was livid. Kylo closed the distance between them in three strides and loomed over her. She wasn’t flinching away, she didn’t recoil, she stayed still and her hazel colored eyes looked up to him from beneath long lashes.

“Don’t lie to me.” He growled, and he bent over her bracing himself by gripping the arm of the sofa. She was too important, and if the First Order couldn’t have her… if he couldn't have her, then no one would. His masked face drew close to hers. ‘How could someone so small cause so much trouble?’ The rage wound inside him tighter, he ground his teeth together, suppressing his urge to lash out. 

He was resisting the urge to hit her and he hated himself for it.

He felt the light brush of her mind against him. ‘How dare you? After I showed you who I am. After this?!’ She wasn’t welcome there anymore. He threw her mind away from his with venomous outrage. “No. You stay out.” his voice shook.

She reached out for him with her small hands and placed them gently on his chest and she closed her eyes. His own gloved hand came up and gripped her wrist firmly but before he could pry her hands away from his cowl she spoke.

“You can take whatever you want.” He felt all of her barriers come crashing down. She was opening her mind to him. He froze in shock, this isn’t what he expected. He loosened his grip.

Her hands slid up his chest and he didn’t stop her but pulled away slightly, unsure and unsettled. He wanted to believe her… desperately. Her fingers had found the clasp of his helmet and his mask hissed with its release. Her trembling hands lifted the helmet over his head and dropped it by her side. Her light was blinding him. She got slowly to her knees before him and he allowed her to pull his head down to meet her brow. “Please,” She said softly, “Take whatever you want. I won't stop you.” His anger was washed away by his surprise. He sank down before her with a tightness gripping inside his chest. He could see her, all of who she was, swirling within her. He brought his hands to her head and held her forehead against his own. “I haven’t betrayed you.”

He desperately wanted to believe her. But he had felt him, felt him slip past his defenses. Felt that he had found her… they had spoken. Her eyes were pleading and he noticed her lower lip tremble. Kylo reached out and sifted through her mind as though it were a holocron. There was no resistance. He found her interaction with Skywalker. She had kept his secret. Luke had asked specifically and she had not told him, she wanted to keep it. Not only that, but she said ‘I want to stay’ and had asked that the Resistance break off it’s attempts of locating them. Relief flooded his veins. He became aware of a different memory, one he had fought for and failed to retrieve from her in the past.

She pushed the memory of the map toward him, offering it gladly. Kylo was overwhelmed.

“Ben?” Her hand came up and rested against his face.

He leaned back and took a steadying breath. “I thought…” He wasn’t sure how to apologize; Kylo Ren wasn’t in the habit of apologizing... and Ben hadn’t had much practice. “I was wrong.” He finished lamely.

“I knew you would be angry.”

Kylo dragged his thumb across her cheek. “I overreacted.”

She simply leaned into his touch and covered his hand with her own. She held them to her face. “Are we okay now?”

Kylo nodded his head. Her ready smile split across her face and it made his heart break. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ The thought ran through him like poison. Rey was beautiful and wonderful and… she hadn't actually hurt him at all. She deserved someone better but that didn’t stop his next request. “Come here.” He sat beside her on the sofa and pulled her into his lap and cradled her against his chest. “I’m sorry.” He whispered into her ear and placed a chaste kiss to the crown of her head. “It won’t happen again.”

The promise was more to himself than to Rey.

She felt warm and her weight was comforting against him. He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve her, not for one moment. She rested her head in the crook of his neck.

She could have escaped. He had been gone, no one would have stopped her. She could have been on her way to freedom. He ran his fingers through her hair slowly and considered what she had let him see. A hopefulness filled his chest. The image of the map to his uncle replayed in his mind. She didn’t need to show him that. His hand stilled in her loose hair. He couldn’t help the question. “Why did you show me the map?”

She looked up at him and he felt her confusion. “Because I wanted to.” She answered.

“But, why did you want to?”

“Because you shared something you weren’t meant to with me.” Rey pressed her face against his collar.

The sorrow that built up inside his chest at her words made him pull her tightly against his chest. His throat threatened to close and suddenly he felt as though he had no strength left in his body.

The months of nightmares came pouring back to him and he began to shake; what he was feeling now hurt far more than the ghosts of his haunted dreams ever had. His eyes burned with grief and he tried to blink the thick emotion away, but only tears fell from him. Rey had gone still in his lap and his grip on her loosened. She met his downcast eyes, and her own filled with a gentleness he had never seen. She moved quickly, he felt her arm wrap around his side and rest against his back. She ran her palm soothingly along his spine and her other hand came up and rested at the base of his skull. She pulled his head down to lay against her shoulder.

His arms tightened against her again and without consent his tears began to flow. He had never felt this vulnerable. It was frightening. It was freeing.

Kylo lost himself in the feel of Rey against him and in the warm saline that spilled across his face. In her hands as they soothed across his back and shoulders. He had never allowed himself to feel this way. He had always thought this was a weakness, but now that he fell further into his sadness, his regret, his despair, he became aware of something deeper. Something more powerful than he had felt before. It was at the same time familiar and foreign.

It was darkness as he had never known it; and it flowed through him.


	9. Accomplice

Pregnant clouds hung on the horizon obscuring Yavin, the burnt umber gas giant that they orbited. Ben slouched back into an old wooden chair, tipping it up onto two legs, and resting against the ancient stone exterior of the Jedi Academy. The early evening air bore a blissfully cool breeze which ruffled his dark hair and the small indigenous lifeforms of Yavin IV began to sing and chip into the growing darkness. He’d come outside to have a breath of fresh air, to center himself. It had so far been a successful venture. He felt at ease.

His eyes slipped without comprehension over the virtual blue pages of the holobook clutched in his gloved hands. He didn’t look up at the sound of a docking ship in the distance. Cargo came and went regularly on the dock and he didn’t need to be bothered with the commotion. Too caught up in this evening’s planned desertion. His thoughts centered singularly around the plan, and the fact that everything was going as well as he could hope, and how the storm was welcome. A familiar warm sensation spread up his spine. It crumbled his calm. ‘What is she doing here?’ He thought with alarm. Ben tipped the chair back to the paving stones and turned his gaze to the newly arrived vessel. She was robed in white, her hood pulled up over her hair, and she was taking long hurried strides toward the Academy. 

She hadn't seen him yet, and he considered making a quick exit before her eyes found him. But he thought better of it, it would be best to know why she was here...and how long she planned to stay. He adopted a false relaxed posture in the chair and diverted his eyes back to the holobook. The words passed without registry as he skimmed his gaze across them. It wasn’t long before he could hear her footsteps, and shortly after that she called out to him.

“Ben!” 

His eyes flew from the holobook and focused instantly on her face. He’d missed her, he realized, as their eyes met. Ben hurriedly found his feet and a smile stretched across his face without much difficulty. He hadn’t seen her in nearly eight months, and besides the complication she posed to his plans, he was genuinely pleased to see her.

“Mother.” He greeted stoically as he walked quickly to meet her and wrap her in a firm hug. Her delicate arms returned the embrace and Ben swallowed down his new sense of reservation. The sight of her made him question everything, but he wouldn’t allow this hiccup to interfere with the plan. The task that was entrusted to him was far too important. “I didn’t know you were coming.” He said as he reluctantly released her.

She took a step back to asses him with an approving smile. He thought she looked smaller, if that was possible. “You’re like your father.” She goaded. “If you cared to answer your subspace communications you would have known.” 

Bed nodded stiffly. “How is father?” he asked, dodging her accusation. 

“The last we spoke, he was on Pamarthe. He is helping plan a piloting competition...Junior Sabers, I think he said.” She answered. 

To an untrained ear, her words would pass as a casual reply, but he could sense the tang of loneliness seeping from her. 

He knew only too well, having spent his childhood feeling her frustration and ache regarding his father, that she was hurting. That she hated how often both of their careers kept them apart. But Leia pulled his attention back to her after a quick moment. “I had business on Ruuria. You were along the way so I stopped to see your face.” Ben gave her an unmissed expression of doubt; he always knew when people were less than truthful, which had been much to Leia’s chagrin and often dismay during his upbringing. Leia Organa-Solo was a woman who put duty first, at all times, and she would not have made a detour to Yavin IV unless it was business. She amended her statement quickly and admitted, “I urgently need to speak with your uncle, where is he?” 

Ben wondered what had happened of importance that made her feel it was necessary to speak with master Luke in person when she could have easily reached him by subspace. He knew she wouldn’t tell him anything of substance, but if he asked, she may give enough away for him to make a good guess. “What business did you have on Ruuria?” 

“I’m sorry Ben, I can’t tell you.” She chided, and Ben knew then that it was Resistance business. “Now let me look at you.” She said, with a classic, motherly distraction technique. Her hands reached up to his face. Her eyes, the shade of which he’d inherited, studied him. Leia ran her thumb over the evening shadow along his jaw and Ben arranged his features into a falsely pleasant expression under her scrutiny. “You’ve grown.” She smiled, but the warmth didn’t reach her eyes. In truth, he hadn't grown any taller since he turned 19, but his shoulders and chest had filled in by his last birthday. Ben noticed how her face had begun to line with worry and her neatly done hair had become flecked with gray.“Where is your uncle?” She asked again seriously as she released him. Ben could tell that the news was troubling her and his heart pumped more quickly as he thought furiously about the evening's planned treachery. He reassured himself that there was no way she could know and thought it would be best if he monitored her visit closely. He hoped, for the first time with her visits, that she planned to leave quickly.

“I could show you to him.” Ben offered.

“That isn’t necessary-”

“I would like to take you.” He insisted. “You may get lost.” Before she could reject his proposal he pulled on his mother’s elbow and led her inside, away from the quickly darkening sky and down a dimly lit corridor. Ben reached out with the Force to locate his uncle. The Jedi’s brightness shown from within the council room, and so he led his mother in that direction. “You’ve come just in time. Master Skywalker is leaving this evening.” He didn’t miss the stab of her irritation that his words drew from her. It vexed her when he called his uncle ‘Master Skywalker’ instead of ‘Luke’. Ben rationalized long ago that since Luke had never treated him any differently from the other students here, that it was fitting to treat his uncle the same as any other student would. His mother simply didn’t understand.

“Why? Where is he going?” She sounded unduly alarmed and he wondered again if she might know about what he planned to do in his uncle’s absence. She halted in the corridor and regarded him more thoroughly.

“You know I’m not at liberty to discuss Jedi business with you.” He shot back at her with feigned levity. He needed to be careful about his emotions around her. It was easy to forget that she had been the one from whom he inherited his Force-sensitivity. His mother could sense his emotions, but to a lesser degree than himself and Luke. He must have been convincing because she restrained the smile that tugged at her lips and Ben felt her affection for him through the Force. 

They walked in silence through the sprawling lamp-lit halls of the Academy. They passed a courtyard where two newly graduated Jedi were practicing Shein forms. Their green and blue blades glowed furiously in the dark and cackled when they struck against each other. Ben watched them wearily as they passed and was glad that they would be leaving tonight with Luke. He was sure that if he had to, he could overpower them, but it was cleaner this way. He thought of his own lightsaber, which he had made in secret. It was tucked away safely in his quarters, within his droid R9. The weapon looked crude in comparison with these blue and green hued blades, but it did it’s job and suited his needs. The savage way it crackled and sparked was fitting with his personality and the vented hilt, although ancient in design, was incredibly useful in protecting one’s hand and gave an advantage when locked in combat. With the echoing cracking and hissing of the lightsabers fading away and the first rumble of thunder in the distance he reminded himself that he was ready for this final step in his defection. 

He wasn’t destined to be a Jedi. His path began here. Tonight. He spared a glance toward his mother; the lines that crossed her face deepened and her lips were drawn tightly together. 

“Your uncle will ask you to pass the trials soon, Ben.” His mother said, misinterpreting his nervous energy and frustration. 

“I know.” He said, just a little too curtly.

Her brows crumpled in concern. “I’m sure he has his reasons…” She said, her tone placative as she reached up and placed her hand against his shoulder.

“I’m still too prone to anger-” He said, matter-of-factly,“-to be a Jedi.”

Her comment unnerved him slightly… and made him more eager to see her off-planet. He gently shrugged her hand from his shoulder and continued down the corridor, trying to ignore the hurt that fell from her.

They were very different people now, himself more so than his mother. The previous year had awoken a hunger in him that had been stifled, meek, but always present. With Snoke’s guidance, he had been nursing it back to strength, by tomorrow it would be strong… he would be strong. He would take his rightful place within the true power of the Galaxy. The Supreme Leader had taught him well in the art of disguising one’s intentions; as testament to his training, Luke had no idea that he planned to betray him; the simple truth of this furthered Ben’s trust in the Dark side, it was more powerful than the Light. 

Further within the structure they came upon a small group of younger students. They ceased their whispered conversation at their approach and watched them with ill disguised interest as they passed. He felt the tendrils of a restless mind reach for him, but he rebuffed it, and shared his displeasure with the invasion. The young man who had reached for him shrank back into the shadowed archway with an averted gaze and wounded feelings. He would have harsh words for the Arkanian, but now, he was preoccupied with correcting their mutual problem.

His mother needed to leave. 

They rounded the next corner and Ben came to a stop before a large wooden door. “Master Skywalker is in there.” He gestured his hand casually, manipulating the door. It swung open silently on well oiled hinges. 

“Thank you, Ben.”

Ben bowed his head respectfully. “Will I be seeing you over dinner?” He succeeded in sounding hopeful.

“I’m afraid not, we’re on a tight schedule.” Kylo was inwardly relieved by the news, but managed to place a look of mild disappointment across his features.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He lied. “Will I see you before you go?”

She pulled him into another embrace and squeezed. “I don’t expect so, but I promise to visit again soon.” She assured him. A small part of Ben cringed with guilt. He knew that he wouldn’t be seeing her again, at least not as friends, and she would never understand what he was about to do. She wouldn’t understand why he had to go. He returned her embrace filled with a sense of closure. “I love you.” She told him, her words hung heavy on his heart and he knew that if he didn’t tell her now he would never forgive himself.

“I know, I love you too.” He squeezed more tightly and then released her.

She smiled sadly up at him, patted his arm affectionately, and then disappeared into the dark room beyond the doors. Ben waited patiently for her to cross the threshold before closing the doors once more. He thoroughly assessed his surroundings. After reaching his mind in all directions, and discovering no one within sight or hearing, he focused his attention to the exposed rafters. He was determined to hear the news that she had brought for his uncle. He was sure it would be insightful. 

Ben jumped and with the assistance of the Force he landed silent as a shadow upon the wooden beam directly above. The vaulted ceilings of the Academy offered a well concealed haven for eavesdroppers. Ben knew this better than anyone, as he had explored and exploited them many times over the years. He pressed his back against the cool stone wall and allowed his consciousness to drift far from himself and into the counsel room beyond. He sat still and cleared his mind, willing a Force vision of the present to pull him in, a view of the room that lay beyond the door below. With a heavy exhale and deep intake of air through his nose a fog began to rise in his mind. 

Dark colors began to swirl lazily behind his eyelids. The smell of baked sand filled his nostrils and the darkness wove within a bright light. The familiar scene wasn’t what he was searching for so he tried to push the vision to the side; however it remained firm and developed more clearly. He was pulled away from the damp cool air of Yavin IV and immersed within a heat he had experienced only a few times before. The light was overwhelming the darkness and he studied the emerging imagery. He had seen this place the last several times he had attempted farseeing, it was a wasteland haunted by an unseen, powerful entity. He considered the wasted remains of a downed stardestroyer that loomed ominously in the distant dunes. He suspected that this was Jakku but couldn’t be certain. The entity was here again and he could feel their presence against his own. Ben instinctively knew that he and this entity were intertwined in the Force... but he could ponder the reoccurring vision at a later time. The connection was puzzling, but more importantly, it was not where he wanted to be at the moment. 

He shoved firmly this time to dislodge the vision. The colors rippled and became dark once more. The smell of hot sand vanished mercifully to be replaced by cool air and wet earth. He clawed forward and imagined himself sitting in the room beyond the closed door. He knew the room well, he shared his morning meditation each day within its cavernous hall. The memory of the meditations swept the smoky colors aside and the room swam into his mind. His mother was sitting across from his uncle. Luke’s face creased the same way as his mother’s had earlier. Their lips were moving but he couldn’t hear the words passing between them. Luke hung and shook his head slowly, there was sadness in his blue eyes. He was asking a question. He couldn’t see his mother’s face but knew she had answered. Then the blue eyes held shock. Ben needed to know what they were saying; he threw himself against the fabric of the Force willing to hear. The result was akin to hearing someone through water but it sufficed. 

“There were no survivors?” Luke asked.

Leia deflated sadly, “No.” She pulled a torn and folded piece of blood red cloth from her sleeve and held it out to Luke. He took it gingerly from her hands and unfolded it. “This was left behind, they have become bold.” She said, defeatedly. “And the senate does nothing.”

Ben’s heart lept unpleasantly when he saw the worn emblem that contrasted against the fabric. A black hexagon bordered a central circle with sixteen points shooting inward. It was the emblem of the First Order. It didn’t make sense, they hadn’t planned an attack so soon; but then he chastised himself. He wasn’t important enough to know the intricacies of the Supreme Leader's plans.

Color drained from Luke’s face and he spoke softly, Ben strained harder to catch his words. “I’ve felt a disturbance, it is near...but I can’t see it clearly.” he admitted, “I’m afraid this raises questions and answers none. It is shrouded in the darkness to me.” He handed the fabric back to her.

“They are organized and growing in number everyday. We have been receiving a steady stream of reports.” She told him. Luke’s brow furrowed. “Many disenfranchised systems are sympathetic to their cause… They need to be taken seriously, they could rise like the old Empire if we are not careful. Can’t you spare anyone?” She sounded desperate.

“Not at this time.”

“That isn’t good enough, people are dying Luke!”

“Leia, I have urgent business on Shili. I received the message only hours ago and I must leave; I need to see an old friend, she has sensed this new pull in the Force also. It’s been building stronger and together we may find answers. Time is of the essence, she grows weak and will become one with the Force any day.” 

“Could I take Ben, at least?” Leia pleaded. 

“Ben is needed here” Luke said simply and got to his feet. “As soon as I return, I will investigate myself; I promise.”

The vision slipped from his mind like water and he became aware once again of his surroundings. Relief and apprehension swirled inside him in equal measure. They didn’t know about him or his connection with the First Order... they didn’t know what they were dealing with. But Luke was going to meet with another Force-sensitive. It would seem they both kept secrets from each other. Ben had never heard Luke speak of a friend on Shili. He lept from the rafter and tore down the winding corridor toward his personal quarters. He needed to be ready for Luke when he came to inform him of his departure. The storm was building and he could hear the splattering of rain against the dark window panes interspersed with a crack of thunder. 

He was aware of Seginus following him at a distance and he slowed his steps to allow the Arkanian to catch up with him.

“Kylo, wait a moment.”

Ben rounded on him so quickly that Seginus froze in the dark. The harsh planes of his face cast in sharp relief by a flash of lightning. Ben closed the distance between them and his voice hissed out as a whisper. “Were you born without a brain? Never address me that way-” 

Seginus went defiantly pale and spoke over him “We’re alone-”

“Don’t be a child, we’re never alone.” Ben snapped angrily. He felt the bite of darkness swirling to the surface. How dare he talk over him? 

He held the younger man’s milky white gaze, which expressed a sickening uncertainty. “Your blatant stares did not go unnoticed by my mother, she knows there’s something wrong… what if she voices her fears?” He asked rhetorically. He swallowed and clenched his jaw, watching the Arkanian shrink before him. Seginus was choking, and Ben realized with a start that he was using the Force against him. He suppressed his rage, cleared his mind, and released the young man from the clutches of his unbidden power. He shouldn’t be snapping at him, Seginus was nervous, scared, uncertain.

“What is she doing here?” The tall Arkanian asked after a moment, when he felt Ben’s anger subside. 

“She’ll be leaving shortly and that is all that matters.” Ben answered. There was no reason to worry the younger man with the discovery of the First Order’s involvement in her visit. 

“Do you think they know?” He asked, twisting his fingers together with unease.

“They know nothing.” Ben said in a firm and reassuring tone. “She will be leaving shortly, along with Skywalker. The storm will interfere with subspace transmissions and we will be able to take our leave in relative silence. The storm will give us time before anyone can communicate with Skywalker to alert him of our uncleared departure.”

Seginus was silent. Ben didn’t have time to stand idly, things needed to be done.

“We don’t have spare time. Skywalker will come to me before dinner to announce his departure and I must be ready. Collect your things, we will meet in the mess.” Ben ordered. Seginus nodded in consensus and turned to leave. Ben sensed an odd conviction from Seginus but passed it off as nervus uncertainty. “...calm yourself, everything will go as planned… if we keep our heads.” Ben held his gaze, “You understand?” He asked.

Seginus nodded, white hair falling messily around his face, and continued on his way to collect his things. Ben watched after his retreating back until he was swallowed by the shadows before he continued on his own way. It wasn’t long before he drew even with his door. Ben paused before entering. This would be the last time he entered this space… the thought was both thrilling and painful. He disappeared into the small room and folded himself neatly on his mat in quiet meditation, waiting for the arrival of his uncle.

Ben felt Luke’s approach long before he heard the polite tap against his door.

“Come in.” Ben called. The door opened and his uncle stepped into the small space. Ben sat expectantly on his mat and looked up to the older man.

“The Academy is under your watch.” Luke said, folding his hands into the sleeves of his robe and looking about the small room, distractedly. “I should be gone only a short while.”

Ben nodded his head in understanding. “Has my mother left?” 

Luke siged. “I’m afraid she has, though she was quite eager to take you with her.” Luke said with a restrained smile.

“My place is here.” Ben said. “Who else would look after the Academy in your absence?” Ben asked jokingly.

Luke’s features became serious and he walked to the small window, patting the yellow and white droid that stood inactive in the corner. “When I return, I would like to take you through the Jedi Trials.” He informed, not meeting his nephew’s gaze. The news was quite to Ben’s surprise and it cut through the easy and lighthearted atmosphere. Ben’s shock must have shown on his face… and through the Force. “You have long been ready, Ben.” Luke said, turning to face him. “In truth you were ready years ago, and now you are a man, not a boy. You’ve come a long way in controlling your anger, I know that it will be a struggle for you for many years, but I think you have the dedication necessary to overcome this obstacle.”

Ben stood from his mat, suddenly serious, and bowed respectfully. “I don’t know what to say… Thank you, Master.”

Skywalker placed a fatherly hand on Ben’s shoulder and smiled. “I’ll be back as soon as it is possible and then I will take you to make your lightsaber.” He turned to leave. “May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you.”

Luke left the room, only pausing shortly at the threshold, before leaving the door open behind him. Ben looked over to the astromech droid in the corner and sighed. His heart and mind were pounding and he collapsed back to his mat and ran his hands over his face in frustration. If Luke had offered him graduation a year ago he would have been thrilled; but it didn’t matter now, the offer had come too late and ruminating on the topic would do him no good. It was too late to turn back now.

Ben had few possessions worth taking with him, he planned only on taking R9 and his lightsaber. It would be unnecessary to pack clothes, as more appropriate attire and other essential items would be provided when they arrived at the coordinates in the Unknown Regions. The coordinates in question had been placed inside his R9 unit for safe keeping. Ben lay on his mat and listened to the rumbling storm outside until he felt Luke’s presence fade into nothingness. Once he felt Luke had gone he pulled his hands from his face and addressed the yellow and white droid. “R9.” The astromech turned its optical center to focus on him and bleeped merily. “Go to the Mu-2 Shuttle, I want you to run her through pre-flight checks and wait for me.” Ben ordered the droid. The droid beeped assent in it’s binary language and began to roll from the room. “R9.” Ben stopped the droid and it looked up at him expectantly. “My lightsaber, before you go.” Ben held his hand out to the droid, who rolled back over to him while it opened its storage drawer, removed the black hilt, and placed it into his master’s waiting palm. Ben stood and regarded the droid before him while he clipped the lightsaber onto his belt. “Thank you, R9.” He patted the domed head of the astromech affectionately. “You can go, I’ll meet you there. I have one last thing I need to do.” Ben watched the droid leave the room and coast down the corridor, once the droid rolled around the corner at the end of the hall, Ben made his way in the opposite direction.

He met Seginus in the mess as planned. They ate quietly and quickly, studying the other pupils, nearly all younger than themselves. Ben bore the weight of Seginus’ nerves as student by student left the mess, adrenaline spiking uncomfortably with each exit. After the mess had been cleared and the students had all left for their quarters Ben and Seginus quietly made their exit into the downpour, careful not to be seen. Ben would miss this place, he thought as he boarded the shuttle and took the pilot's’ chair. He ran his hands through his dark hair and felt his padawan’s braid catch between his fingers. Seginus settled in the co-pilot position beside him and gave him a searching look.

“Are you having second thoughts?” The Arkanian asked, strapping his harness around his torso and watching Ben roll the braid between his fingers.

“...no,” Ben answered, slowly unbraiding the hairs. “I don’t belong here anymore.” 

...

“The time has come, my knight.” Snoke’s growling voice echoed around him. “To prove your loyalty and usefulness to me.” 

A chill ran down Kylo’s back and blood drained from his limbs, leaving him suddenly numb. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat before lifting his masked face to his master. “I will do as you command. Without question, without hesitation, master.”

“You will return to Yavin IV.” Snoke began, leaning forward in his throne. “Bring your brother. Collect what is rightfully ours, bring me the list, and kill all that stand in your way.”

Kylo’s eyes widened with shock beneath the safety of his mask and it took a moment to collect himself before responding. “Yes, master. I understand.” Kylo agreed, swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat.

“Use whatever means you require. I will not tolerate failure.”

Kylo bowed his head sharply and rose. “It will be done.”

...

His mind was reeling, trying to think of a way to collect the Force-sensitive Registry from the Academy without loss of life; of a way to spare the lives of the names on that list after it had been collected. The beings who lay asleep, unaware of the looming danger, had once been friends. And even if they had their differences in opinion, however misguided he thought they were, Kylo didn’t wish them harm. Seginus, on the other hand, was far too excited for the certain violence that awaited them on the moon below. Craved it. Kylo felt the waves of his anticipation and eagerness filling the cabin with it’s potent stench. It had become apparent over the last three years that the Arkanian had a lust for blood and pain and suffering. The Force pulsed obscenely around him, tainting the air with a perversion of the power that Kylo had come to understand to be the Dark Side. The true Dark Side.

“I never thought I’d see this place again.” Seginus broke the silence. His white eyes were fixed on the moon and his voice contained a longing that sickened Kylo. “Do you think Skywalker is down there?”

Kylo reached out with the Force and focused on his uncle, searching. “No. He’s not.” Kylo answered with confidence. 

“That’s a disappointment.” Seginus said. 

Kylo spared a look over his shoulder at his companion. “Be glad he is gone.” He replied seriously.

The Arkanian twisted in his chair to level a gaze at Kylo. “Do you still have feelings for the man?” He asked, snidely. “Or perhaps you’ve grown cowardly?”

“Do not fool yourself into thinking you are a match for the Jedi Master.”

Anger flared in the man seated at his back. “My power-”

“Is but an illusion.” Kylo finished for him, his own anger now rising to the surface.

Seginus was quiet, seething. Kylo felt his defiance break against him, heard the younger man’s fists clench within the black hide gloves. “We will see who’s power is in an illusion.” He bit out.

Kylo didn’t answer him, instead he navigated the TIE fighter into the moon’s atmosphere. 

It was raining again, just as it had the night they left, he remembered. Kylo kept several klicks from the Academy as he searched for a clearing in which to land the craft. He quickly found a place large enough to accommodate the fighter and set her down with practiced grace. The TIE sunk slightly into the sodden earth as the engines died. Seginus was quick to release his harness and he turned his own masked face to Kylo, awaiting his orders. 

“We’re here for the list.” Kylo reminded Seginus as he pulled his cowl over his helmet. “Nothing else.”

Seginus nodded but did not answer, and Kylo’s heart sank. There would be blood before the night was over.

“Let’s go.” Kylo opened the access panel and they jumped down into the muck and rain.

Kylo’s robe became saturated with rain and mud within seconds, clinging uncomfortably to his legs and sending a chill deep into his body which he refused to notice. He was singularly focused on the list. It would be in his uncle’s personal quarters or office. He would have to split from Seginus to search the rooms more quickly. They had decided that was for the best prior to departing the base on Endelaan. 

The knights raced through the heavily forested habitat of Yavin IV and reached the Academy quickly. It took little effort to force their way into the familiar corridors. The only sound announcing their arrival was the soft pitter patter of the rain dripping from their sodden cloaks. Kylo gestured Seginus forward in the direction of Skywalker’s office and then pointed at his chest and then at the ceiling. Seginus nodded in understanding and crept along the corridor and out of sight. Kylo wrestled with his conflicting feelings of leaving the other man unsupervised, but the faster they got the list, the sooner they could leave. He quickly made his way down the corridor he knew led up to the next floor and to Luke’s quarters.

Skywalker’s rooms were one level above the student's personal quarters. This had played into Kylo’s decision that he should take the living quarters instead of Seginus… he didn’t want Seginus to take it upon himself to slaughter the sleeping younglings as he made his way to Luke’s room. When he made it to his destination, he quietly entered the room. The bedroom had a large window that overlooked the courtyard which had often been used for sparring. A large shelf obscured the far wall with an impressive collection of holobooks, most of which were historical, and a humble desk stood in the center of the space at the foot of his uncle’s bed. Ben closed the door behind himself and began to sift through the contents of the shelf. He allowed the Force to guide him as his hands eased slowly over the bookshelf. The collections that passed beneath his palms were not what he was searching for, so Ben turned to the wooden desk and slid open each of the drawers in turn. Their contents were unremarkable. Ben pushed his growing sense of frustration and anger away from him and thought hard about where Skywalker would keep the Force-sensitive Registry. The conclusion he came to colored his mood with irritation. His uncle would have given the list to R2-D2, and the droid was never out of his uncle’s sight. 

“Fuck.” Ben exhaled into the emptiness clenching his fists in frustration. Anger chewed on his nerves and he struggled to keep its powerful allure at bay, though the desire to succumb was strong. Nothing would feel better then to send the contents of the room flying. Instead, he bit into his lip, drawing blood. The copper taste flooded his mouth and a sense of calm and focus blanketed his mind. He needed to be sure that the registry was indeed absent, he needed to be thorough and level-headed. He searched through the small cabinets that stood on either side of the window and sifted through the drawers at the far end of the room. There was nothing here. Kylo took a steadying breath and turned around, silhouetted by dim light filtering through the window, and looked over the room. He focused his mind. 

A prickling sensation pulled at the forefront of his consciousness and so he followed it’s pull which led him to the headboard of his uncle’s bed. Kylo was seized by an impulse to run his hand behind and around the decoratively carved wood, and so he did, slipping his gloved hand around the knotted piece. His hand slid not more than a foot before it encountered what felt like a holocron. He snatched at it, and pulled the object toward his helmeted face. 

It was the list.

Relief flooded his veins. He pulled a slim watertight case from his robes and tucked the holocron into the safety and dryness of the case before replacing it in his robes.

The storm had reached it’s peak. Thunder cracked deafeningly and rain crashed in torrential sheets against the windows. ‘We were lucky.’ He thought, thankful. ‘Snoke will be pleased.’ 

Kylo’s sense of accomplishment and ease was palpable as he exited his uncle’s room and began back down the corridor. But the feeling was wrenched away from him when he heard the scream. The sound pierced the night and sent ice into Kylo’s blood.

“No.” Kylo breathed. Not wanting to believe his ears. He felt more then heard the students on the floor below. They were running. Terrified. Filtering out into the grounds. His legs broke into a sprint, hurtling down the corridor making for the stairs. His heart beat wildly in his chest. ‘What has Seginus done?!’ He reached out to the other man with the Force, but only a sense of bloodlust and a sickening darkness answered him.

The scream had come from the direction of the courtyard and as he reached the staircase and began to rush down to the student’s floor he began to discern a terrible uproar of shouts. He rounded the final corner which led onto the student's sleeping quarters and the sight that met him forced the air from his chest and made his pace falter.

He could feel the darkness claw violently within him as he came even with a figure he recognized; three years had seen her turn into a beautiful young woman, but now she lay unmoving on the floor. He felt nothing but emptiness where there used to be light. She was dead. A cauterized wound gaped open through her chest. His blood pounded distractingly against his eardrums and he became painfully aware of his mounting anger. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He pulled the black hilt from his belt and looked at the large closed door ahead; beyond which the shouts and screams still sounded. Ben stepped over the the girl’s body and threw his hand out before him, willing the doors to open. In his unbridled rage, the doors splintered and flew inward. The wood soared like shrapnel into the chaos of the courtyard. The cries and shouts and terror wrenched through him. Ben saw the blur of Seginus’ red lightsaber snapping wickedly against a pair of green and blue. The two boys who wielded the blades were younger than he had been when he left the Academy, and their faces were unfamiliar to him. Blood splattered the paving stones and more familiar faces lay with unfixed eyes, their blood mixing with the icy rain. Bodies broken and bleeding, he counted seven dead.

Not knowing what he would do but filled with a desire for the senseless violence to cease, Kylo raised his hand and wrenched the twisting, living essence of the bodies in the large space. Everything froze and silence fell upon the courtyard. The rain had even stilled. If the storm was audible, he did not hear it over the pounding in his eardrums. The wealth of strength he found within himself, within this darkness, was intoxicating and frightening in a way it hadn’t been for a long time . He could feel the pulse of every heart beating and every labored breath beneath his hold. He shook with the effort to maintain control, this power was unrefined and fueled by his anger and grief. Ben knew he was not the master of the power, quite the opposite: this power was master of him. And hadn't he just told Seginus as much about his own power when they arrived here? He could feel the thin capillaries of his nose break under the strain to hold the scene still, and his eyes drifted over to Seginus. The masked face stared back at him, fear rolled off of him, he’d never seen him lose control like this before. Never seen this power. Kylo released him and ignored the blood that was dripping down over his lips.

“Have you taken leave of your senses?” Kylo extended his arms, gesturing around the courtyard. “They have nothing to do with us.” He shouted. Ben released the other academy students with his words and they collapsed weakly to the floor. The rain resumed. He watched with regret as some of the student’s reached for their extinguished training sabers while others cried or shrank back against the walls with accusing glares. Hate permeated the space, replacing the panic that had been overwhelming moments before. Kylo closed his eyes, took a steadying breath, and demanded, “Explain.” 

A woman’s voice cut through the silence. “Traitor.” The word stabbed like a knife. Ben knew the voice belonged to a human girl, Katya, and he turned to find her standing amongst a wounded few. She had tears streaming down her angry face and she pointed an accusing finger at him. “You are Master Luke’s nephew, how could you, of all people, turn to the Dark Side…” she sobbed. “You were meant to be his successor, a champion of the Light.” Ben knew the friendship that they had once shared for over a decade was broken, had been broken the night he left, and he felt no trace of her usual warmth… only hatred, grief, and betrayal. Kylo noticed how she clutched her side and saw a growing red stain on her sand colored tunic. He was trying hard to think of a way to salvage this situation but a solution wasn’t forthcoming. “It’s your fault! You left, and then Master Luke left. He left us because of you!”

‘Luke left? After I-’ He thought. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Ben stated. He took a step closer to her.

Katya recoiled from his approach and backed against the stone wall behind her. “Stay away from me.” She demanded, “Stay away from all of us.” She thrust her free hand to the blasted and splintered door. “Go, and never come back!”

“We can’t let them leave! That monster murdered Atriar, Yestha, Dracko, Pleione! Who knows who else!” Sanssal, a Twi’lek male close to Ben in age roared. He ignited the blue training saber and held it steadily before him. Others echoed his actions and soon a hum accompanied the pounding of rain. The occupants divided, academy students that were able, ran to join each other leaving himself and Seginus at the other end.

This is how it would be, then. Kylo scanned the faces slowly and met the eyes of each former friend. He knew most of their faces, names, strengths and weaknesses, fears and aspirations. Despite this, there was no familiarity held in any of them now, this courtyard was filled with strangers. He didn’t think he knew even Seginus anymore. The white haired man was drunk on power, even now he gripped the hilt of his lightsaber and swung it threateningly. He knew none of them and a new rage began to bleed through him. He caught the steady gaze of Seginus and he felt nothing but blood-lust reflected there. In that moment he realized that he had been foolish to hope that they could leave peacefully. His naivete had allowed this slaughter. This was his doing and there would be no turning back.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Seginus’ voice. “They are our enemy now!” He spat. “We will prove ourselves worthy of the Supreme Leader’s teachings.” The tumultuous frenzy of thoughts around him swarmed in a disorienting way, the feeling of it was deafening but Kylo forced himself to narrow his focus to the man he planned to take leave with. He felt trepidation and mounting distrust growing between them, if he didn’t make his allegiance known quickly he would belong nowhere. He could never belong to the Academy again, that much was clear, and if the face of Seginus was any indication of what lay ahead on this path to the darkness, he would never belong with the First Order.

This wasn’t what he wanted.

He couldn’t leave the students alive… not now. Seginus had eliminated that option when he’d declared the existence of the Supreme Leader. There could be no witnesses, that was what Snoke had said. ‘Kill all who get in your way.’ Nausea twisted in his stomach and an odd feeling of detachment flooded over him as his grip tightened over the ignition of his own lightsaber, the red blade bathed him in it’s light and he saw utter horror wash over the once familiar faces of the Academy. The thrum-woosh of other blades split the air and the chorused hum vibrated in his bones. The older students readied themselves, their training sabers were held out defensively and they stood their ground. Ben dug deep in himself to find the darkness he had come to know, but he found only a perversion of the darkness greeted him. The same twisted version of the Force of which Seginus had become close to and had sent nausea through him earlier this evening. This wasn't the true way of the Dark side, but it was the only option left open to him. He couldn’t afford to have Seginus or Snoke question his conviction. 

Kylo was the first to engage the Academy. 

Sanssal, a peer who the young Ben had always respected, was the first to lock blades with him. Their lightsabers spit and snapped with every blow. Kylo knew from years of sparring that Sanssal had a dangerous habit of leaving his right shoulder vulnerable so he parried and struck out to encourage the lapse in concentration that always ended in an opening in his guard. Three years it seemed had not corrected this weakness. It finally happened as a second student met Seginus in the dual. Kylo swung his blade in a flurry of light and cut diagonally down through Sanssal’s shoulder. The Twi’lek screamed in agony, briefly lowering his blade in shock. Kylo took the opportunity to end the fight and knocked the training blade from his opponent's hand and threw him to his knees. It took only two seconds to muster the resolve to kill him. It was enough time to see the hope leave Sanssal’s eyes to be replaced with loathing. Ben’s crackling blade came down and across the kneeling man’s throat. He was surprised at how easily the blade sank through his green flesh but he wasn’t given the opportunity to feel what he had just done. Wasn’t able to feel Sanssal become one with the Force. He was attacked again by a younger advisory and then time and faces passed in a swirl of color and sound. 

When his blade plunged through the chest of the last student the world came falling back into place. He guarded his complete sense of loss closely, he pulled together a mask of himself and forced his feelings down, instilling a sense of numbness and cold. He turned to Seginus who had backed away from him in fear and took in the death that surrounded them. The deed had been done and now was the time to leave. Without a word to the the Arkanian, he deactivated his lightsaber and hooked it back to his belt. He strode past him, out into the grounds, in the direction of the TIE fighter, and further into the downpour. 

Seginus followed, but Kylo raised a hand and turned to face him.

“You can take the shuttle back to Snoke. Tell him the mission was a success.”

“It wasn’t. I didn’t find the registry.”

“I have it here.” Kylo said, patting his chest.

“Then we should return to Snoke together. Now.” Seginus replied, a sudden flash of victory rolled off the lesserknight. 

Kylo wanted to kill Seginus for his recklessness and disregard for life, and he would have killed him... if he had thought he could explain his death satisfactorily to his master; but he knew he could not. He and Seginus were more than a match for the Academy students, Snoke would see through the lie. He took a steadying breath.

“There is something else I have to do. I’ll meet you back on Endelaan. We will bring the list to Snoke together, but I have to do this alone.”

Kylo knew the Arkanian wanted to protest, but his anger must have licked fiercely against him, changing his mind. Seginus nodded, somewhat reluctantly, and turned for the shuttle resting on the dock.

He stood waiting in the rain, waiting to watch the shuttle hum to life and depart, before turning back toward the Academy. Back to the massacre. He removed his mask, taking in the scene with his naked eyes. With the absence of the darkness that had swelled within him, the sight turned his stomach. He bent inward, clutching at his gut, as the contents of his stomach came up, leaving him heaving his last semi digested meal to the ground. He tried to catch his breath, but it took time.

Seginus and Snoke could never know… but he couldn’t leave the slain students where they lay, broken and exposed to the elements. They deserved better than that. Building the courage to do what he knew he must, he knelt beside the body of Katya. Kylo felt the sting of grief in his eyes as he lifted her limp form from the sodden ground and walked her slowly into the shelter of the Academy’s walls, he laid her gently within the front corridor. He wept, tears mixing with rain and blood, as he collected the broken bodies of the students. Depositing them, one by one, within the Academy’s stone walls. Now a tomb. He arranged them along the corridor, closing their unseeing eyes and folding their arms across their chests. It took several hours, and by the time he had collected them all, his eyes and the sky had no water left to spill.

As he strode out of the Academy on weak legs he clutched the Force-sensitive Registry through his robes.

He was going to find his father. 

He was going to make this right.


End file.
